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Episode 142: Identity, Purpose and Intention

Jan 20, 2022
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April Price Coaching
Episode 142: Identity, Purpose and Intention

Episode Summary

We all want to know how we find our purpose, figure out what we want to give our energy to, and decide what to do with our lives. To do that, we have to know the difference between identity, purpose, and intention.

When we base our identity on anything that can change - like your thoughts, choices you make, accomplishments you earn - it can leave us vulnerable to taking on identities that don’t serve us, or make us feel lost when things change. The truth is that your identity is unchanging. You’re a child of God with unlimited potential.

A lot of times we think we’re here to do something. It’s not true. You don’t have to do anything to fulfill your purpose because it’s already done. Your purpose was to come to earth to inhabit a physical body. You’ve done it. Anything else you do after that is just for your learning, experience, and growth.

The choices you will make to design your life, the service you want to give, the capacity you want to grow are all your intention. It’s how you get to use your agency on this earth and you get to choose what you want. The only thing keeping you from all the things you want are your own thoughts.

When we understand these three things, the journey becomes less pressured and much more joyful.

Episode Transcript

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price. You might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome.

Hello, podcast universe. Welcome to episode 142 of the 100% Awesome Podcast I'm April Price, and I'm so happy to be here with you. How is your new year going? How are your goals? How is your life? How are things? For me, I'm just feeling like so excited and happy about things right now. I, as you know, I started two new coaching groups this month, and there's so much good stuff happening in there, I'm really excited about it. Just this week, we had our regular coaching call, we had an extra class just on the model, on the tool and how to use it most effectively.

Today, we had a class to help everybody who's working on weight loss goals and things that they need to know for their mindset, and all that good stuff. And tomorrow we have a business workshop. And it's just like, so fun to be a part of that and to see the changes that are already happening, and to be a part of what my clients are creating, even just in a small way to help make those shifts for them so that they can create the life they want. And it's just there's just so much good happening there. I love my clients. I love being in there. And it's just it's just been a really awesome couple of weeks as we've gotten started.

So, if you feel like dang, I really wish I was in there, and I missed out, plan on joining me in April. I will have another group that starts up in April, and you don't want to miss it. There's just so much good that that can happen in your own life, in your relationship with yourself, in your own mind that can change so much for you. And if you want to be in there, I think you should be, okay?

And in other news, my daughter is coming home from a mission in less than two weeks. As I'm recording this, we are just a couple of weeks away. And as part of that, like I've been recording in her closet for the last 18 months or so, actually longer than that when she went away to college. And she's going to be home for a little bit. And so, I've moved my podcast studio into another closet in that house, and it's just so interesting watching my brain like, do something simple, like move the podcast studio. I had so much resistance to it. I was supposed to have this episode done about four days ago, but my brain kept being like, Oh, we still have to move the podcast studio, that's going to be a big project.

So finally, and just like putting up so much resistance to like the effort and energy that would take like our brains are just programmed to conserve energy in every way, even when a whole lot of energy is actually not required, our brain makes it a really big deal. So today, I was like, Hey, time's up, I've got to get this recorded. And it took me about 5.2 minutes, right? To move the microphone into a different closet. And I just thought, ha, like my brain always makes it worse than it really is. And that is the truth in every area of our life. Your brain is making it worse. I don't care what you are talking about, your brain is the thing, making it harder. Your brain is the thing, making it more difficult.

Today in our group we were talking about weight loss tools, and like the number one takeaway is like, look, your brain is going to make this process really hard, like on purpose. Your brain is biologically programmed to make this hard. And I just think that goes for everything. And so, whatever you're finding resistance in in your life, just know that the answer, and the solution is to look at your thoughts. To look at your brain and see what, like what it is making a big deal, what it is making hard, what what it is creating resistance to that is preventing you from doing the things that you want to do, okay?

So, today's podcast actually comes because of a couple of experiences that I've had recently. So, recently in a couple of coaching calls, I've had people express the idea that like, they just don't know what they're doing with their life, like they can't figure out like what it is they're supposed to be doing and how to like, feel good about the things they're doing. And and just like, like kind of this lack of purpose, and direction, and feeling like, I want to do things, but I don't know what the right thing is, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. And is this thing worth my time and just all the like indecision, and doubt, and insecurity, we have about our choices and what we've decided to do with our life, and put our time and our energy and all of that. And at the same time, my sister-in-law asked me to come and speak to her young men and young women, and I did that this week, and talk about their decisions, and their future, and how they make decisions for their life. And after the presentation, I had a few of the adults who came up to me and said, like, Gosh, I really wish I would have known this a long time ago, this would have been really helpful information to know as I was like living my life, right? And like, I never really thought about it, like the way you said it tonight.

And so, I just thought, you know what? This might be useful for all of you. It might be really useful to, especially at the start of the year, to talk about how we find our purpose and how we like, decide what it is we're going to do with our lives, and how we figure out what we want to start putting time, and energy into and making those kinds of things happen in our life, right? We all sort of like walk around feeling like I know I'm supposed to be doing something, but I don't know if this is it right? And that can be a lot of pressure. And that's why I think what I'm going to share today can be so useful and so helpful to you, okay?

So when it comes to the things that we decide to do with our lives, and the things that we decide to develop in ourselves, the things that we decide to spend time and energy on, the people that we decide to become, and the things that we choose to do when it comes to all that before we can make those decisions and before we can figure out what it is we want to do here on Earth, we have to understand the critical difference between identity, purpose and intention. So, today I want to talk to you about those three things identity, purpose and intention, because when we really understand those three things then figuring out what we want to do in our lives and who we want to become and what we want to create while we're here becomes so much less pressured, so much more fun and so much more joyful, okay?

So, I want to start by sharing a story that I've shared here before about Apollo Ohno, who, as you know, is an Olympic short track speed skater, like a champion short track speed skater. He's won so many world championships, he's won so many Olympic medals. Like for a good couple of decades, he was like the number one name in this sport. And I heard an interview with him, and and he was talking about how retiring from skating was so hard for him because, like so much of his identity, and the purpose of his life was tied up in skating. And because he had so much invested in skating, he said, like, I just kept trying to like be enough through my skating. I tried to like, feel like I was enough as a person through my racing. And he was like, I just could never get there, I never felt like I was good enough. I never felt like I arrived, I never felt like I got to a place where, like, I was okay with me.

And he said something so poignant, he said, like, there just aren't enough races. There aren't enough medals. There aren't enough podiums. There are not enough races to make you feel like you're enough when you're getting not enoughness through the things that you do. And I think this is like, so poignant, and so true for so many of us. That were trying to feel good about ourselves, were trying to feel enough through the things we do and when we don't have that feeling, we look around, we think like, well, maybe I'm not doing the right thing. Maybe I haven't found my purpose, maybe I haven't found my passion. And we feel like that thing outside of us. That purpose, that secret thing we're looking for is going to provide the feeling of enough ness that we're searching so desperately for.
And so, all that was happening with Apollo Ohno, I believe, is that he was trying to combine all of those ideas into one thing, right? His identity, his purpose and his intention were all wrapped up in skating. And this is so easy for us to do in our lives. We can like wrap up our identity, our purpose, and our intention, all in mothering, for example. Or we can wrap it up all in our career, or we can wrap it up like all in our athletics. But then things will happen, and when all of it is in one basket, right? When our identity, and our purpose, and our intention, are all in one basket and they're all the same thing, then when things change, like it's really devastating and it's really hard and we and we feel a little bit lost.

I remember feeling like this when my kids started going to school full time because like my identity, and purpose were all wrapped up in my intention, like the things I did. And then it was like, Well, then who am I and why am I here? And what about David? Not only did he start to go to school full time, he started to leave the house and it got even more intense, right? And this can happen so easily for us, and it's because we are like combining all of these things into one.

And so, today I want to really define and separate what is our identity, what is our purpose and how they are separate from the intention through which we are living our life. So, first, let's just talk quickly about identity. Who are you? Who are you? Your identity is kind of tied up in how you answer that question. And notice for most of us when we go to answer that question like we, we immediately go to like what we do, or what we're like, what are our characteristics are, what are personality traits are, what we're good at, what we're bad at. And sometimes, right, it's all about a lot of times, it's all about the choices we've made instead of like actually who we are. And when we answer the question this way, then who we are is just like a collection of thoughts. It's a collection of things we've decided to believe or not believe about ourselves. And then notice how somebody that has different thoughts would have a different idea about who we are, right? Like if I ask you who you are, you would have a one collection of thoughts about yourself what you believe you are.

And then if I asked you, Well, who does your mom say you are, and might be a different collection of thoughts, right? Or if I asked you, who is your best friend say you are? That might be a completely different collection of thoughts, right? Like, I was telling the youth, like my husband, like he has a way higher opinion of me than me sometimes, right? And like, he thinks more highly of me, so if I'm basing like who I am on my thoughts versus his thoughts, it might be a completely different experience, right? The other thing to think about is like, who would like your worst enemy or somebody who doesn't like you? Who would they say you are? And what I want you to notice by answering those questions is that depending on the collection of thoughts, that's creating the answer. And and that leaves you very vulnerable because your thoughts change all the time. Other people's thoughts change all the time. And when our identity is based on a collection of thoughts that is changeable, like, that's a kind of a scary situation because thoughts can change at any moment.

And so, the example that I want to share with you is like, I had a certain idea, certain collection of thoughts of myself as a 20 year old. I felt pretty confident and I felt pretty good about myself, and like the plans of my life, and like how I had lived my life. But by the time I was 40, like my brain had come fully online and had told me all the things that were wrong about me and I felt like a completely different person. I felt like so insecure, and so disappointing, and so incompetent. And and I even remember David remarking like, like, you were so different when I met you. It was just that my collection of thoughts about myself had changed so dramatically, right? And so, that's what I want to offer you, that when we base our identity on anything that can change like a thought, or like something we do, or like a talent, or a trait, or characteristic, when we base our identity on anything that can change, it can leave us vulnerable to taking on identities that don't serve us. And it can leave us lost when things change.

So, what I want you to know, and this is so powerful is to know that your identity is actually unchanging. Your true identity is that you are an eternal being, a child of God, with an unlimited potential to grow. Your identity is not what you do, right? It is not your talents, your abilities, your characteristics. It is not what other people think about you. All right, like sometimes we let other people tell us what we are, right? They tell us you're smart, or you're stubborn, or you're difficult, or you're a hard worker. And and we take that on as who we are instead of like a thought, or an opinion that they have, right? Your choices also don't make you who you are. You are an eternal being who gets to make choices, but that doesn't change the fact of who you are a child of God with unlimited potential, right?

So many times we think our choices define our identity and this can be so painful. For example, I was talking to my daughter who's about to come home on her mission, and she's just like, I don't want to come home, right? Like, I don't want to come home and be that person again, right? Like she's like thinking like, I didn't love all the choices I made back then, I didn't love all of the thoughts I had about myself back then, and how I was showing up in the world, and I don't want to be that again. And she's like actually identifying herself as that person instead of seeing her self as separate from that as just those are just choices she made then. And she can make whatever choice she wants now, and none of it makes her wrong. And none of it makes her any kind of a person. She was in any kind of a person then, and she is in any kind of a person now. She is just always an eternal, being a child of God with unlimited potential and the ability to choose. And we tell the story that our choices are our identity, that I am this thing because I keep choosing it and it's just never true. It's so limiting and painful in many cases.

The other thing I want you to know is that your identity never changes in value. There isn't any version of you, or any identity of you, that is better than another version. There's only one version, the eternal you, okay? The the eternal child of God with unlimited potential, and there is no version that's better, or worse than another, it just is. That isn't a thing. And we hear all the time that like we want to be our best selves, we want to be our best you. And that's all about the idea of changing you from a less desirable version of you into a more desirable version of you. But this is not a thing, right? There are choices you make that you might want to make more of in your life, but it will not change who you are. It will not change your identity. There is always only you. There is a view that is going to make different choices at certain times in your life, and you might like some of those choices better than others, as we will see in a minute when we get to intention.

But when we think about who we are, is what we do, or the choices we've made that we can never stop needing to make more choices, right? Like there just aren't enough races. There aren't enough ways to prove that we are okay. So, you just get to know that you are a child of God with unlimited potential and you are 1005 lovable right now, and there is no version of you past, present, or future that exists other than you. That is a fixed identity, okay?

Now, I want to talk for a minute about purpose. Why are you here? The definition of purpose is the reason something exists, or the reason something was was created. Why are you here? Why were you created? What a lot of times we think that we are here to do something that we have a purpose outside of just being here, a purpose outside of like just the human experience, and I want you to know that that is not true. You do not have to do anything to fulfill your purpose because it is already done. Your purpose was to come to Earth, and inhabit a physical body. And then learn whatever you're going to learn while you're here, you are already the result. You are the reason for creation already. You are the result and you have fulfilled your purpose by coming to Earth and getting a body. Day one, minute one, you have fulfilled your purpose, and everything else you do after that is just for your learning, and experience, and growth.

Like when we walk around saying, like, I have to find my purpose, we are in a sense saying that we have to find a reason that we are here on the Earth. But that reason is just to be here, to just exist, to have a physical human experience, a moral experience, and you don't have to have any purpose beyond that. There isn't a purpose beyond that. So, what I want you to know is that your purpose is not something that you have to go find or discover or figure out. It's never something outside of you out there in the world. It is never something you do. Like, occasionally, I'll have people say, like, well, you're so lucky you figured out your purpose, right?

You guys, my purpose is not to be a coach, like that was just a choice I got to make when I was here, that is my intention right now for my life. That's just a choice I get to make. But it was never my purpose. It was never the reason for my creation. My reason for creation is to just be here and learn what I need to learn in this body, right? And that will happen automatically. I can't not learn. So, a lot of us think, too, that our purpose has to be like something big, or exciting, or motivating, or life changing, or like serve other people. And that is not true. Your purpose is just to be here and you have nothing to prove. As a human being, you have no worth or value, you have to prove you don't have to, like, justify your existence on this planet by the things you do.

And when we try to find a purpose beyond that, we miss the joy of our life, and the joy of choosing what we want to do because we're always searching for a reason, or a better reason. We're always trying to find a reason that like, it's okay that we exist, and prove our worthiness or a love ability, or our enough ness, okay? Like I said, you are 100% lovable because of who you are, and you don't have to do one thing else to be worthy of being alive on this planet. You are 100% worthy, and your life automatically has value and purpose. And you don't have to prove your value or worth ever. And I want you to remember that that your purpose has been fulfilled, because now that means that everything you choose to do after that after arriving here is just for the joy of it. Just for the growth, just for the learning, just because you ca,n just because you have been given an Earth-life experience that you get to do with what you want to become to create to grow in all the ways that you want. And that's what I call intention.

Intention is all about what you want to do while you're here. Intention is all the decisions that you will make, the choices that you will make to design your life, the ways that you want to learn, and grow, the skills that you want to develop, the service that you want to give the capacity that you want to enlarge the glory, even that you want to attain while you're here. But none of these things are who you are or your purpose for being here. Our intention is all about how you get to use your agency, your days, your hours while you are here on the Earth. And I want you to know that you get to choose what you want. Your intention does not define who you are. Does not define your identity, okay? It does not make you good or bad, it doesn't make you a better or worse person.

The example I always share is like imagining two five-year old boys one wants to learn to play basketball and the other doesn't. The one goes out and he dribbles every day and he practices and he learns the skill of dribbling and the other one doesn't. And then I ask my clients, like, which one is better? But people aren't better than one another. These children cannot be better than one another, one just now has a skill that he can use to, like, find joy playing basketball. But it does not make him better. And I want you to know that like that, I use that simple example because it's easy for us to see that children who can play basketball, and children that don't, aren't better or worse. But the same applies to us, no matter what choices we've made in our life it does not make us better or worse. It gives us certain experiences. It gives us certain opportunities that we each get to choose.

I also want you to know that your intention doesn't have to stay the same, right? You can listen to your desires, you can listen to the things you want. What you want from your life is going to change throughout your life. And when it's not like tied to your purpose, then you can be really like aware of what you want and follow your intentions. Your intentions never have to be decided by anybody else, or what they think you're capable of, right? It's your agency you get to choose. And going along with that, I want you to know also that your intentions don't have to be limited by your own thoughts. So many times there are things we want to become. And we tell ourselves that's not for me, we tell ourselves that we can't for whatever reason our brain gives us. And there are so many thoughts that you might have in your life that are limiting your intention that deep down, there are things you would like to do while you're here and your own brain is getting in the way.

So, the other night, I asked these kids to kind of imagine that they got a letter from themselves 30 years in the future. And in the letter they tell themselves, Hey, our life turns out amazing and you get everything you want. And I had them write down what that would mean. Like, what does getting everything you want look like? Like, if you knew for sure you could get everything you wanted out of this life? What would be on that list? I would love for you to take a minute and make a list. What are the things that you haven't done because you're scared? What are the things you haven't done because you've said, I'm not that kind of person? What are the things you haven't done because somebody else like told you like, Oh, that's not you. That's not your identity. I really want you to like notice that the only thing keeping you from, like all the things you want, are your own thoughts. Our thoughts about who we are, but remember who we are is never the things we do. There are just choices out there.

And I want you to know that if you want to choose something you can, you get to. That is the gift of Earth-life. You get to use your agency to create anything you want. I want you to notice how identity, and purpose are fixed and unchanging. You are an eternal being within a limited ability to grow, that never changes. And you fulfilled your purpose by coming to this Earth that never changes. The one that is changeable is your intention, and you are allowed to choose any experience you want while you are here. I want you to know that because your identity and your purpose are unchanging and fixed, you are already 100% lovable, you are already 100% worthy as a human and valuable, and you don't have to prove anything. And all the rest now is just what you choose. And no matter what you choose, it won't make you better or worse, it's just going to change the life experience you have while you're here.

What do you want to do? What do you want to have? What do you want to create? What do you want to become before you leave this Earth? Because you have agency and you get to choose your identity, and purpose are already fulfilled. Now it's time to decide your intention. What do you want to create while you're here? And if you want to help with that, you want help moving the thoughts that your brain says, like the things that your brain says are not available to you, that's what we do in coaching. We move from wishing that we could have that thing to creating them in our lives. You are an eternal being with unlimited potential for growth, a child of God, and because of that, your identity and purpose are already known. They're already taken care of, the boxes are checked and all the rest is intention. All the rest is choosing. And you get to choose whatever you want. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome. I love you for listening, and I'll see you next week.

Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. If you want to take the things I've talked about and apply them in your life so that you can love your Earth-life experience. Sign up for a free coaching session at This is where the real magic happens and your life starts to change forever as your coach. I'll show you that believing your life is 100% awesome is totally available to every one of us. The way things are is not the way things have to stay. And that, my friends is 100% awesome!

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