Episode 30: Seeing The Magic of Your Awesome Life

Hello, podcast universe and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are enjoying your family, eating turkey, and feeling incredibly blessed in your life today. As I record this podcast, I am imagining you listening to this podcast as you stuff your turkeys or put your pies in the oven or going for a walk in the cold autumn air. Welcome to the greatest day of the year and welcome to Episode 30 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and I'm incredibly grateful for each one of you and for the magic which fills my life.

[01:12]
Today on the podcast, I want to talk a little bit about that magic—the magic that fills my life and the magic that fills yours. And to introduce this idea I want to tell you about an article that I read the other day about Voyager 1 and 2, which were space probes that were launched 40 years ago in 1979. They were launched from Earth to take pictures and gather data in our solar system and for 40 years they've just been up there in space traveling, taking pictures, gathering data.

And while you were growing up and living your life and Madonna was singing her songs through the 80s, and you built your families and graduated from college—all along the way, these probes have been up there working away. Okay, so in 2012 Voyager 1 left our solar system and entered interstellar space. And this month, in November, Voyager 2 did the very same thing. It had traveled far enough that it left our solar system and entered interstellar space. And when it did that it crossed the heliosphere.

And you're like, "Awesome. Who cares, right? What is a heliosphere?" And I understand—you're cooking turkey, you're watching football—what does this have to do with anything? So just stay with me.

So to understand all this you need to know that the sun isn't just a ball of gas that makes light and heats our world. As National Geographic wrote, "It is a raging nuclear furnace, hurtling through the galaxy at about 450,000 miles an hour, as it orbits the galactic center." And as our son hurtles through space it gives off a breeze of electrically charged particles. And this is called the solar wind. And this wind or this gust rushes out in all directions around the sun and covers our solar system.

[03:05]
Okay, well, well beyond our solar system, out there in space they call it the interstellar medium, which is just the space between all the stars and it's full of all kinds of debris and radiation that's left over from exploding stars. And the solar wind that's coming off the sun and this interstellar medium out in space don't mix, right? They're kind of like oil and water. And so because of this the solar wind then forms kind of like a bubble that surrounds our solar system and protects it from the interstellar medium. And inside this bubble, that the solar wind makes, are the sun, the eight planets, and all the outer objects like Pluto that are orbiting our star.

Okay. And you're like, "Can you get to the point?" Right? Okay, here we go.

This bubble is called the heliosphere. It's kind of like this protective sphere that the sun produces. Right? So National Geographic had this article about when Voyager 2 passed through the heliosphere out into space. And this is what it said. It said, "The protective heliosphere shields everything inside it including our fragile DNA from most of the galaxy's highest energy radiation." And when I read that I thought about how just to live on this planet with our fragile DNA as we hurtle through space at 450,000 miles an hour is such a miracle.

And I want you to know that you've won the lottery. Like no matter what your circumstances are, no matter what kind of crappy hand you think you've been dealt, no matter how unfavorable your situation may seem, you've won the universe's lottery. You inhabit a living planet that is covered by a heliosphere, protecting you from the interstellar mess and radiation that results from being in a universe that has exploding stars. All of that so that you can have a human experience.

[05:02]
And all this is happening, and you have no idea. You have no idea that that protection is even there in place. And until Voyager 1 and 2 made their way out into space we had no idea. How much more is there out there at work and in effect in your life that you cannot see that allows you to have this exact incredible Earth life experience with the people you love that we just have no idea about?

We are so oblivious to the magic of our lives and most of us are just trying to make the best of a bad situation. By and large, we think we're just one wrong move from total disaster. We have a huge long list of the ways our lives have gone wrong, and all the things that haven't worked out for us, and all the ways that we ourselves have failed. And we have an equally long list of why the deck is stacked against us, and why we can't get ahead, and how this whole human experience is just an exercise in pain, right?

And what I want you to know is that we've had it backwards all along. We have a heliosphere, people. There's no reason why our fragile DNA hasn't been burned up by the interstellar medium, or why the sun comes up every day, or the moon somehow keeps all the oceans in their bounds.

[06:18]
It's all completely miraculous and we are oblivious because for us with human brains our brains are programmed to notice all the things that have gone wrong. Seeing the good, noticing the magic, is not our default position. We're trying, each of us in our own way, we're trying to notice the positive and emphasize the good—and especially today on Thanksgiving, to see our lives with gratitude and thanksgiving. But in general we think we live in a world of problems with a few nice moments scattered in there now and then.

What I want to offer you today is that the opposite is true. We actually live in a world full of miracles with a few challenges to help us grow along the way. And for us, with human brains, it's just hard to see the truth of this.

So I have a few quick tips for you today to think about in order to change the way you see yourself and your life. And I don't want you to beat yourself up for your natural negativity, right? That's the brain's job. We all have a human brain that notices problems, and the brain itself is its own miracle that deserves our honor and admiration. But at the same time, don't let your brain sell you a lie. The things I want to share with you today will help you see things as they really are.

[07:36]
Okay, so the first idea that I want to share is one that I learned from Abraham-Hicks and it's called the 'Rampage of Appreciation," And the Rampage of Appreciation is a gratitude exercise. But I love the use of the word "rampage." Like you are going wild appreciation, right? Like it's uncontrollable and takes over everything in its path. It's like the Hulk of appreciation, right?

You can do the rampage of appreciation any time you want to reset your brain and see things as they really are. So what you're going to do is you're gonna set a timer for two minutes. And write as quickly as you can for two minutes—writing down everything that you appreciate, everything you're grateful for, from the tiniest things like stamps and eyelashes and pebble ice, right? To the big is things, like life and love and agency and heliospheres.

And you can look around the room that you're in as you're writing and you can notice everything, right? Notice your hand that can move across the page, the paper itself, the desk, and the floor, and the ink that's contained in this thin tiny plastic tube, and your amazing eyes that can see it all happening. You give yourself two minutes and just go crazy it's supposed to be a "rampage"—a wild, jubilant, rush of joy and appreciation for the miracles around you. In two minutes you'll see things as they really are, and you'll feel better. It's that easy.

Some of my clients actually have done this every morning for a month with a rule that they can't repeat something from any other day. And this activity can change your perspective on the hand that you've been dealt, and the life that you're living, and show you the truth about all of it.

[09:20]
Okay, the next thing I want to talk about is the question that I use often to recalibrate the way I'm seeing things. When all I can see are problems, I like to ask this question: How is this perfect? When our brain is noticing a particular problem and selling us a story about how tough our life is and what a raw deal we got and how nothing ever works out for us, I like to redirect my brain by asking, "How is this perfect?"

And this question reframes the whole situation. Instead of feeling ripped off, it forces your brain to take another look and to recognize that everything that happens is always happening in our favor. Even the excruciatingly hard things. It's all designed for you and even if you can't see why in the moment, you can acknowledge that someone more perfect than you intended for it to be this way. Perhaps they know more than you and perhaps even this will in fact be perfect.

When you look at your life, you need to make sure you're telling the right story. There's always the story your brain will tell that is about how everything went wrong, but you get to tell your story on purpose in any way you want. And I'd like to start with the title called: "My Perfect Life." And then write every chapter with evidence of how it has all been perfect for you.

What I want you to know is that your brain is a prediction machine. Our brains assimilate the information from the past and then they predict our future. When we see our lives as a bad deal, or a series of mistakes or tragedies, we start to see that same pattern inevitably in our future as well. We start to believe that nothing can change and that we're doomed in some way. Which is why it is so important to rewrite the story of your life. When you notice how it is all worked in your favor—even the hard things and how everything is falling into place at the exact right time—your brain can then predict that the same things will occur for you in the future.

[11:18]
So there's an exercise that I sometimes give my clients that has a huge impact on the way that they see their life in general. And I have them make a list of 25 things that they want. We all want things in our life. We all want things in our life to be different. Right? And so it's easy for my clients to make this list.

And then I ask them to make the list again and this time I tell them that every other thing on the list of things they want has to be something they already have. When we put something we already have on our list of things we want, then we start to see how much we really do have in our lives. It totally reframes the context of all that we have and how amazing our life is.

So maybe you've seen that video from Forest Hill Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, that they put together a couple of years at Christmastime. (And I'll put a link to it in the show notes, because it is really, really fun if you want to watch it.) But in the video, all the regular things in this man's life are wrapped up, right? The light switch is wrapped up, there's a bow on the shower. There is like his wife is wrapped up, his kids are wrapped up, his breakfast is wrapped up.

And the idea is that we already have so much. We already have so many gifts that we have just stopped seeing—things like turning on the lights which like you can turn it on and off whenever you want. And there's like this bow on the sink, where clean water comes out. And then he puts his shoes on which are all wrapped up and he's like, "Shoes!! I have shoes!" When you really think about it your life is so abundant and so perfect and it's just not the way we're used to telling the story. We need to rewrite the story and notice how everything is perfect

[12:57]
Okay, the last idea that I want to give you today is this. So a couple of weeks ago my coach introduced me to the idea of "a complaining fast." And it's not complicated, right? It's exactly like it sounds. There's only one rule: No complaining.

For many of us the negativity in our life is so subtle. It's just these sneaky little thoughts and phrases and observations that don't really sound like complaints, but just seem like we're making a running commentary on our life. But they're skewed to the negative, right? And to me they feel like observations about myself and my abilities, about how much time, or money, or energy I have. They're like things that I think about my life or my coaching business or my limited technology or my husband or my kids, right? But by and large they are inordinately negative.

And when my coach first introduced this idea in me, I was like, "No problem, right? I don't really complain that much. I'm not a victim. I'm not going to have a problem with this." But then I really started to pay attention to what I was telling myself and I had no idea how much negative talk I had around the biggest areas of my life until I really started bringing awareness to it. I didn't even realize it was there because complaining didn't look like I thought it would. Right?

I didn't even realize it was there because complaining didn't look like I thought it would. Right? Complaining, for me, just looked like I was like reporting facts. Right? Like I'm just telling you how it is. I would say things like, "I'm just not good at Facebook. Well, it's not cheap having three kids in college. I'm exhausted." Or "This should be easier," or "I don't have time for this. I wish I was better at this. He's always on his phone." It was like the small stuff. Not even ranty or whiny. Okay, maybe

[14:37]
Complaining, for me, just looked like I was like reporting facts. Right? Like I'm just telling you how it is. I would say things like, "I'm just not good at Facebook. Well, it's not cheap having three kids in college. I'm exhausted." Or "This should be easier," or "I don't have time for this. I wish I was better at this. He's always on his phone." It was like the small stuff. Not even ranty or whiny. Okay, maybe I was a little whiny. I'll give you that.

But it was like this underlying current that "this is harder than it should be," "that things are not ideal" and that me or my life was lacking in some way. And what I want to point out to you is that while it felt like the truth, it isn't things as they really are. It's just my human brains interpretation of the way things should be, which is always going to be skewed negative.

What we're trying to do in the complaining fast is to not agree with our brain when it offers this general negative view of our lives, but instead start to see things as they really are. It turns out that even the smallest complaining is a way of agreeing with my brain that there's something wrong here, that there's something wrong with me, or my time, my money, my life, my business, my husband, my kids.

What I want you to remember is that what we focus on grows. And even if we think it's true, if we're focusing on what is not working, on what's wrong, then guess what we're gonna get more of? And what we're going to see more of?

[15:44]
So the other night at dinner, David was telling me how hard the last couple of months have been for him at work. And he was giving me the whole story about how he's been put in all these difficult positions at which he can't possibly succeed. And like maybe he's just being set up for failure, right? And everything he told me was from this perspective of like a subtle negative complaint, about how it's impossible for him, and how he felt a little bit attacked.

His lower brain was convinced that he was in some sort of mortal danger. And so he's telling the story of him against the world and what a scary place the world is. And this is what our brains do. They tell us that nothing is going your way and that everything is working against us. And when we complain we kind of agree with our brain in a way.

So at dinner I was asking him like, "Why do you feel so stressed?" Right? And he's like, "I told you." And then he told me the whole list again. And I said, "But why are you so stressed?" And he's like, "I just told you." And I was like, "But why do we feel anything? We feel anything because of what we are thinking, right? Not because of the budget or the construction projects or the physician leaders or the corporate politics but because you are thinking it's impossible. You feel stressed and then your brain starts to complain."

Because whenever we complain it's coming from the thought that something's wrong. And by focusing on how impossible things were, the impossibility grew and expanded. And he found more and more reasons to validate how impossible it really was, because that's where the focus was.

[17:17]
A complaining fast forces your brain to stop focusing on what isn't working or what's gone wrong and allows us to see actually what is. So in this case I reminded David that his brain had noticed all the impossible things, but it forgot the most important factor, which is him, right? Which is that there is nobody better for what needs to be done and that if anybody can do the impossible things it's him. And you know what happens when he focuses on that, on what is working, and what he can make possible? More of that is exactly what he'll get. More of what is working, which is exactly what we all want. And which is the point of the complaining fast—to put our focus on what we really want instead of focusing on what we don't.

What would it look like for you to go on a complaining fast? If you want to see better results in any area of your life, you have to start by seeing what is already working beautifully for you. So can you commit to complaining fast for an hour, or a day, or even a week? So I want to challenge you and dare you to pick just one area of your life and try it with me. Try not to complain about that area and focus on what is working.

[18:35]
Okay so that's what I have for you today. Short and sweet, right? (Like me!) Okay, remember you won the lottery no matter what your life looks like, no matter what your brain says it should look like. You have a heliosphere.

Try doing a Rampage of Appreciation. Go wild in your life with appreciation. Ask yourself, "How is this perfect? Even this this moment, even when it's hard, how is it perfect?" Make a list of 25 things you really want in your life and make sure that every other one of them is something you already have. See your life in its perfection, and all that it has to offer you, and the gifts you already have. And then try going out and complaining fast. Think about the way you talk about your life and everything in it. Eliminate all the negativity and subtle complaining that is 100% optional.

[19:40]
So last month, as you know, I had emergency surgery, and then we went on a quick trip to Utah to see our college kids. And one day, after we'd gone to the BYU football game in the freezing cold, where we got completely soaked and rained on and then frozen through—after all that, after the game, we decided to go to a restaurant to warm up before we dropped her kids off and said goodbye.

And as I sat around the table defrosting and eating hot pizza, I had this moment of clarity and I could suddenly see things as they really are. And they don't come that often for me because I have a human brain, just like you. But as I sat there in this very old, tacky restaurant around this sticky table with my family, I had the thought, "I'm here. I'm here. When I so easily couldn't be. Just being here around this table with these people, is miraculous." When you think about what had to happen for me to be there in that moment, right?

First there had to be a creation. And a heliosphere. There had to be thousands of years of human history, and people who've gone before us, that I could be born. There had to be modern medicine, and capable doctors who could remove my cancer and help my body heal. I had to meet this amazing man and we had to fall in love. He had to be able to overlook my shortcomings and decide to marry me.

And then my body had to produce for other human bodies and their DNA had to come together perfectly, in the exact right patterns, protected by the heliosphere, to give them life. And then they had to grow up and be protected, and then we had to have the means to travel and eat food, and be at the same place, at the same time. And it is miraculous.

[21:30]
Whatever's happening in your life, it is miraculous. Stand back for a minute in awe. Don't be fooled by your lower brain. Your brain is amazing, but it's also wrong about all of it. Your life is magic. Your life and your circumstances and your situation no matter what they are, are all miraculous. You just can't see it, but it's there. Just like the heliosphere. And it's true.

I hope today you get a glimpse of it of the majesty and the magic of your life. You have won the lottery...and that my friends is 100%t awesome. Happy Thanksgiving! I love you for listening and I'll see you next week!