The other day a client reminded me of a clip from Bob Newhart’s show in which a patient came to him with a fear of being buried alive in a box. Bob’s solution for his patient was simple: “Stop it.”
Bob’s patient asked him what he meant by that. He said, “I mean, stop it. Stop being afraid of being buried in a box. That sounds terrifying.”
The patient agreed, “Well, it is.”
“Well then, stop it!”
Why isn’t it this simple for us? When we have behaviors that we don’t like, why can’t we just “stop it?” Especially when it’s making our life harder. Why is it so difficult to “stop it?”
I have a project I have been procrastinating. Every day I tell myself to stop it. Stop procrastinating. Figure it out. Decide. Stop stalling. And telling myself to "stop it," isn’t getting me anywhere.
Telling ourselves to “stop it” never works.
And that’s because what we...
The highest, holiest part of you longs to progress.
The rest of you just wants to be comfortable.
This tension between discomfort and comfort is always inside us, asking for our vote.
What's it gonna be?
Our brain wants us to choose comfort, but comfortable keeps us the same. If we want something different in our lives, we've got to steal what we want from our comfort. I hope this video will help you do that!
Do you ever get overwhelmed by how many things there are to fix about you?
I recently noticed that my kitchen cabinets were looking a little ragged, with chipped paint and worn edges. I thought about having them repainted, but they are a little dated and I thought maybe I should just replace them altogether.
But if I'm going to redo the cabinets, I really want to update the backsplash as well.
And while at it, it's way past time to get a new stove top. Two of the burners on my stove don't work, but my repairman told me it couldn't be fixed and this model is no longer available for sale.
I couldn't find any new stovetops that fit the current hole cut in my granite countertop, so replacing the stove means replacing the countertops as well.
And then my brain says, "Well, if we're going to redo the countertops, we should maybe just take out that whole wall and move the kitchen to the other side of the room."
But is that a...
We love a good action plan, don't we?
We always think we need to do more, or do it in the right way, or do it the way other people are doing it.
But way more important that what you do, is what you think.
It's the difference between just going through the motions, and really creating the results you want in your life.
See what I mean in this video. I hope it helps!
On Saturday, I was on my last circuit at the gym and my brain did not want anything to do with it. It started negotiating with me, trying to get me to stop. It said, "It doesn't matter anyway."
On Sunday, as part of my spiritual practice, I spent the day fasting and praying. And again, my brain did not want anything to do with it. It kept trying to talk me out of it. "It's not going to matter anyway."
Earlier in the week, my brain offered me similar thoughts about my business goals.
No matter what I'm doing, if it involves any kind of discomfort, my brain likes to tell me that it doesn't matter.
And truthfully, it doesn't.
I can live a life without exercise. I can skip the last circuit. I can live a life without a spiritual practice. I can opt out of fasting and praying and connecting with God. None of it matters to my survival.
And it doesn't even matter when it comes to my worth either.
No matter what I do or don't do, it...
I just want to tell you that you are amazing.
You are succeeding at so much. You are helping and growing and becoming in all the ways you are supposed to. You are loving so well. You are handling your human experience and the specific challenges of this year so beautifully. You are magnificent.
And just because your brain probably hasn't told you that, doesn't mean that it isn't true.
It's just that your brain isn't programmed to notice or believe or remember compliments.
But you can change that! I hope this video will help you do that.
P.S. We can't change our brains, but we can supervise them—and that changes everything else in our life! Come try coaching and I'll show you how.
A lot of us think we feel bad about ourselves for a “good reason.”
We believe that we keep thinking we’re not good enough
...because of something that happened in our childhood.
...or because our spouse criticized us.
…or because we messed up or did it wrong or failed at something.
…or because people at church judged us.
We think there is a REASON that we believe there is something wrong with us.
But you believe you aren’t good enough because this is what every human thinks.
It is the "factory setting" of human brains. No matter how successful we are, no matter how attractive we are, no matter how our parents or our spouse treat us, no matter who approves of us or doesn’t, no matter what we accomplish or don’t…our brain is ALWAYS going to think there is something wrong with us and we aren’t enough.
And I know that sounds like bad news, but what if it’s not? What if it means you can STOP worrying...
Sometimes our brain gets a bad rap.
Once we figure out that our thoughts are the source of all our problems, we sometimes blame everything on our brains and think it would be easier if they were different.
But our brain is just doing its job. Beautifully, by the way!
And the more we can appreciate our brain's job, the less frustrated we will be.
I hope this helps!
P.S. Do you have a question that you'd love me to answer on the podcast? You can submit your question by clicking here.
We spent last weekend in St. Louis. And while most of the people there were wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts, I am from Phoenix. And I was cold.
I wore a jacket everywhere we went. And I turned on the seat warmer whenever we were in the car.
I love the seat warmer feature. Even if I am the slightest bit chilly, I turn it on. Just a couple of degrees off my ideal temperature and I reach for the seat warmer. I love being that comfortable.
In many ways, most of us are getting worse and worse at being uncomfortable. Humans are constantly solving for discomfort and our endless ingenuity is making life easier and easier. And really, that’s kind of awesome.
But sometimes our comfortable lives make us forget that when it comes to our goals, discomfort is required and we are a little surprised by the pain.
We want to lose weight without changing our diet or “having to think about it.” We want to share our work without being rejected or feeling inadequate and...
To love ANYTHING in your life, you only have to do ONE thing.
Also, I am doing a podcast in a couple of weeks where I'm answering listener questions. If you want to ask me a question you can reply to this email, or you can click here to record a message and hear your voice on the podcast!