I want to let you in on a little secret: Your brain does not want you to reach your goals.
I know, crazy, right?
It turns out that your brain doesn’t care about your goals at all. It doesn’t care who you want to be or what you want to do in your life or how precious you think your time on earth is.
Your lower brain only cares about one thing: survival.
Which is important, I guess.
But the thing is that survival used to be a lot harder. When our species first evolved there were a lot more potential threats around us. There were predators. There was the real possibility of starvation or dehydration. The elements were a much bigger concern to our safety and security. Everything was dangerous.
And so the brain learned to function according to three important principles in order to keep us alive. These are also known as the motivational triad. According to the motivational triad, the brain is programmed to:
1. Avoid pain – As humans we learned to avoid pain and...
Can I be honest? I used to hate Mother’s Day.
It felt kind of like “Mother’s Yearly Evaluation Day” to me. It was like a report card on my mothering and I used the day as a massive evidence-gathering mission on all the ways I was failing as a mother.
Which were many.
When my kids fought and argued on Mother’s Day, it was clear evidence that I was a terrible mother and hadn’t taught them how to love each other.
When nobody pitched in to help cook or clean on Mother’s Day, I used it as evidence that I’m the only one who does things around here and my family doesn’t really care about me.
When my husband didn’t get me flowers or the right gift it was evidence that he thought I was a terrible mother and wished he had made a better choice. (I even used to compare the amount he spent on me with the amount he spent on his secretary for “Executive Assistant Day” and compared which one of us he thought...