I have been coloring my own hair in my bathroom, with a box of dye from the drugstore, since March. It wasn’t pretty, but it did the job; it covered all the grays. And I decided that the dull, one-note, dark brown helmet that resulted was not the worst tragedy to come out of the pandemic.
But the home color jobs, coupled with the fact that I hadn’t had a haircut for 8 months was starting to make me feel like Wednesday Adams.
Finally, last Saturday, I went to the salon for the first time since the pandemic began. My darling stylist looked at me with compassion and shrugged, “You do what you gotta do.” And then she got to work.
She colored it, she put in gorgeous caramel highlights, she worked her balayage magic, she made neat stacks of foil around my head, and applied a gloss. She meticulously sectioned and painted and wrapped my hair one tiny section at a time. Then she shampooed and deep conditioned, cut and layered and styled my hair. I felt completely...
Sometimes it seems like the only thing our brain is good at is finding problems.
But where our brain's really excel is in finding solutions, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas to fix all those problems. That's why we live in a world with cars and air conditioning and iphones. A human brain went to work one day to solve a problem.
If you want to get your brain to do what it does best and start solving more of your problems, I have a little tip for you today. I hope it helps.
P.S. Every day I help my clients solve their hardest problems and I can help you too. You can sign up for a free coaching consultation and try it for yourself.
Ever since the pandemic began, here’s what happens at our house on Friday nights. David brings home pizza. And then he says, “What movie should we watch?”
Then we all spend the next two hours scrolling through Netflix and Amazon Prime and Disney+ trying to find the right movie. Suggestions are made. And shot down. Trailers are watched. And abandoned. Google is consulted. And disparaged. Complaints are lodged. And seconded.
It’s a lot of drama about a little decision.
Cause none of us want to waste our time watching the wrong movie or watching a dumb movie or watching a movie we don’t like or watching a movie we’ve already seen. And so instead, we waste our time deciding.
Or rather, we waste our time not deciding.
And it’s painful.
Notice how we’re trying to make our Friday night “better” by choosing “right,” but it only makes things worse. We want to pick the best movie so we can avoid negative emotions like...
Your brain doesn't care about your goals.
Instead, it tells you that maybe you don't really want what you think you want.
Whatever you're trying to do differently—lose weight, build a business, improve your marriage, develop a spiritual habit—is hard. And when it's hard, your brain tries to get out of it by telling you that you don't even want that thing anyway.
My brain tried this on me just this morning. (Nice try, brain. )
I hope this helps you get more of what you really want.
When I was in fifth grade my whole class did the presidential fitness challenge.
I was the only one who couldn’t do a sit up or finish the mile run. (Let’s not even talk about the bar hang. Needless to say, I was a disappointment to the president.)
When I was a young mother I would go to church and hear people say things like, “My mother was so patient and she never raised her voice.”
I was the only one who had yelled at my kids in the car on the way to church.
When David and I went to hospital fundraisers, all the people around us would raise their paddles to donate thousands of dollars for cancer research, while I was sat next to them in a dress that I had used two credit cards to pay for because there wasn’t enough credit available on one of them.
I was the only one living paycheck to paycheck.
When I turned forty, I was failing at all of the “basics”—eating right, exercising, flossing, journaling, getting up early, saving for...
It's the last day of July, and for most of us, this isn't the 2020 we thought it was going to be. It wasn't what we ordered. This wasn't really the plan.
(Maybe there are other parts of your life that sorta feel like that, too.)
Today I want to share an idea that can help you embrace all the things that have "gone wrong" in a whole new way.
I hope it helps!
When David and I were still young marrieds with 4 little children, cash was always tight. We had a new mortgage, a few student loans, and lots of diapers to buy.
One day, one of the kids flushed a few of the “Little People” farm figures down the toilet and clogged it. My first thought was to call a plumber, but I knew that would cost money. Money, I thought we didn’t have.
My second thought was that I had a husband. And he should be able to figure this out by himself. Without paying an expert.
When I suggested this idea to David, he just looked at me. Handyman skills were not his strong suit. I said, “It can’t be that hard. You should be able to do it.”
David tried a plunger. No luck. He went to Home Depot for a pipe snake. Nope. The little, plastic farm animals were jammed in the toilet in such a way that David was going to have to unscrew the toilet from...
The disappointments just keep rolling in, don’t they?
School’s going to be online this fall.
Album and book releases are being delayed.
The gym is closed. Again.
The number of Covid cases keeps rising. (Even at my house the number went from zero to one last week.)
You’ve watched everything on Netflix and there’s nothing new on the horizon.
Worst of all, your life is pretty much the same.
You are pretty much the same.
Your body, your money, your relationships, your confidence, your potential—are all pretty much the same as they’ve always been.
But now, it’s just you and your life, with no distractions.
And what you see is kind of…well…disappointing.
And so then we think, “Well, I need to change some things.”
But change feels so hard and so big and so impossible that we give up or we never start. Really, we don’t even know where to start. And so we settle for the same. ...
Sometimes we think of prayer like a magic wand that we can use to make our problems disappear.
Or at least, sometimes we wish it was like that.
But it might help to think about using prayer to solve our problems in a whole new way.
P.S. If you want a magic wand for your life, you should try a free coaching consultation with me. You might not be able to change the circumstances—but you can change EVERYTHING else!
Of all the things I coach my clients on, the hardest one for people to accept is the idea that they could love themselves as they are.
Everyone thinks it's impossible.
Given all our problems and all our mistakes and all our weaknesses, most of us think that loving ourselves isn't really possible.
Actually, some people think it might be possible...if they change some things first. If they get their act together and stop messing up...then, maybe.
Everybody thinks they have to be different first. Loving ourselves as is? No way.
But love isn't created by what we do. Love doesn't magically appear when we change or when we become better. It's not something that just happens when we're finally acceptable.
Love is a decision.
It is a choice.
And you make that choice with the thoughts you decide to think about yourself.
Because love is a feeling, it means that love (even for ourselves) is created by a thought. Not by...