Do You Want to Change?Sep 21, 2023
The transition from summer to fall offers us a chance to take a deep breath, recenter and reset. It’s a time to ask, “Do I want to change?” As we think about where we’ve come from and where we’re going, lessons learned and new dreams and goals come to the surface. It’s a time to renew commitments, strengthen resolve and get clear on what exactly we’re creating in our lives.
Every now and then, it’s valuable to look at whether you want to keep creating the things that you’ve created and make sure that you like the life you’re building for yourself (not just running on autopilot).
Today, I invite you to ponder some questions that I’ve been asking myself lately.
What Do You Want?
If you were creating your ideal life from scratch, what would that life look like? What parts would be the same as your life today? What would be different?
It can help to start a running list on your phone or in your journal so you have a place to add new ideas as they come up over the next few days.
And if these questions feel hard to answer, there’s a good reason for that! Our brain is great at shutting us down before we figure out what we want and talking us out of the things we need to change.
This simple (but not always easy) exercise is so important because if we don’t know what we want, then we’re just going to live the life our brain wants (i.e. the easy, safe and familiar).
Your Brain’s Response To Change
As you answer the question of what you want, you’ll likely notice at least one of these five things. When you’re onto your brain’s tricks, you can notice them and shut it down.
1. You’re distracted by what you don’t want. You don’t know what you want because your brain immediately jumps to what you don’t want, what you don’t like, what you wish was different. It uses this as a chance to tell you everything that has gone wrong in your life, everything that's wrong with you and everything that you don't want.
Your brain has not spent a lot of time thinking about what it does want. Instead, it’s used to looking around for what’s gone wrong and ruminating on all the things it doesn't like.
2. You’re too vague about what you want. Your brain may offer something like, “I just want to be happy.” Sometimes it’s just a general feeling of dissatisfaction. You can’t create change from that kind of vagueness. What does happiness mean to you? What does it look like? What makes you feel happy?
3. You’re ashamed of what you want. Your brain may tell you that you're a bad person for wanting it. Or it will argue that you should have done it already, but you haven’t because you're a lazy, undisciplined person. Shame comes up and says you’ve wasted your time and your life and you should have done something about this already. You should have known better.
Our brains also like to tell us that what we want is selfish, that we will hurt or inconvenience other people if we do what we want. But your true desires are there for a reason.
4. You don’t think you can have what you want. Even as the thought of something you want is first coming to you, your brain might tell you it is impossible. Your inner critic chimes in before you’ve even been able to write your idea down, telling you that’s stupid and it’s never going to happen.
You don’t need to know the “how” at this stage. Just give yourself space to dream and believe in possibility.
5. You’re afraid that what you want doesn’t even matter. Your brain might say that what you want is not important or significant enough to really matter. Before you even fully know what you want, your brain will tell you that the effort, energy and pain involved aren't worth it. So you end up doing nothing.
Do You Want To Change?
Who you are now has created the life you have now. A different outcome or a different desire in your life is going to require you to do things differently. If you truly want this thing, do you want to change in the ways that you're going to need to, to be able to create it?
If the answer is yes, start with changing your thoughts. Thoughts drive behavior. If you’ve tried to make changes before but just couldn’t follow through, it’s time to look more closely at what you are thinking.
The first thought to examine is your “why”. Why does the goal matter to you? Why do you want it? What is driving you?
Second, take a look at your thoughts about yourself pursuing the goal. This will likely be a mix of positive and negative.
Using the example of this podcast, I feel proud of creating something and following through week after week, and I love the idea that I can use this platform to help people. However, my brain also offers up thoughts like, nobody wants to hear from you, it takes a lot of effort and energy, I don’t know if it’s helping anybody, etc.
The positive - your “why” and the payoff - have to outweigh the negative friction coming from your brain if you’re going to continue taking action and making the changes you want.
Your brain will keep offering up shame and imposter syndrome, telling you that you don’t belong. If you want to keep pursuing your goal, you have to continue to strengthen and emphasize the positive thoughts and do whatever you can to increase your enjoyment and ease in the process.
All you have is your life and your time. You are the one deciding how to spend it. Most of the time, we aren't spending it the way we want. Because we haven't really asked, and because our brain has talked us out of the things that we really want.
We end up using our time doing lots of things we don't really want to do. We end up putting our wants, our desires, our dreams and our goals on hold. Give yourself a chance to find out what it is that you truly want.
I am a coach now because coaching changed my life. It helped me go from wishing things could be different to finally making them different. I would love to help you do the same.
- Why you don’t have the life you truly want (and how to get it)
- A visualization to help shut down your inner critic
- Why changing what you do isn’t enough to create the life you want
- Exciting new changes to the Made for More Private Coaching Club
Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price. You might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome.
Hello Podcast Universe! Welcome to episode 229 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and I am so happy to be with you today. How are you? How is your September? We are kind of in that transition time in the year, right? Moving from summer into fall and September for me, like maybe just because of like my years of programming in the school system, like it has always been a time of new starts and renewal and evaluation and adjustment.
And as we transition from summer into fall, this is a time of year, I think that just kind of naturally lends itself to a contemplative reset, if you will. Like It just offers us a moment at least me, just me to just like take a deep breath and think about where I've been and and kind of where I'm going as we kind of just like start the final third of the year. And it really like lends itself, at least to me, as a moment to consider, like, are there things that I want to do differently? Like what have I learned? Are there changes that I want to make? How can I kind of reset and and recenter myself? And I always kind of feel a nudge as well to just renew my commitments and strengthen my resolves back towards my goals and desires and really thinking about, okay, what am I creating in my life and do I like it right? So not only that, but as you know, I, I also just finished a couple of really big challenges that I had this year with my daughter's wedding and with the completion of my swim run event.
And just like things that took a lot of effort and energy and focus, right? And at the conclusion of stuff like that, I kind of consider that like, like a harvest moment, right? Like I put in all that work and all that effort and then I kind of like harvested the, the results of that. And there is so much joy in that harvest and relief, of course. But there's also for me, a bit of loss as those efforts have come to a conclusion and they've been harvested and now I have some extra time in my life.
And all of that combines at the conclusion of something to make me feel a bit at loose ends. Like if just for one moment you consider that harvest metaphor, if you can kind of imagine me sort of like pulling up all the plants and and roots of the things that I have like, planted this year and worked out and nurtured and grown. And now the ground in front of me is kind of empty, right? And that always leaves me feeling a little bit lost, a little bit sad, and at the same time a little excited as I start to consider, well, what am I going to plant next? What do I want to do now? How do I want to use my time and energy and effort going forward? And what seeds do I want to plant and nurture and start to nourish and grow in my life? And I think this is just a valuable exercise for all of us to do every now and then.
Like every time we come to a transition moment in our life. Think it's an opportunity to ask myself, Do I want to keep creating the things that I've created? Do I want to keep planting the same seeds and creating the same harvest? Or am I ready to plant and grow something else? And periodically I think it's just important to check in with ourselves and make sure that we like what we're creating, make sure that we'd like the life that we are building for ourselves, the life we are living, and not just like going through the motions on autopilot.
So, I want to offer you a question to consider today and to think about give yourself time to ponder it and turn it around in your mind and really examine this question I've been asking of myself recently, and I want to invite you to ask yourself the same thing today. And that question is, in your ideal life, what would that life look like? If I was creating my ideal life from scratch, what would it look like? What would be the same? What would be different? Like if I could just pick and choose? What would that life look like? Because if we don't know the answer to that, if we don't know really what we want, if we don't know really the elements that make up our ideal life, if we don't intentionally ask ourselves that question, what do I want? Then we're just going to have the life that our brain wants.
We're just going to have the life that our brain is creating on autopilot. And in many cases, it's just like if I don't ask myself, what do I want now? I'm just going to keep having the life that I have. So that is the first question that I really want you to consider. And just take a moment and ask yourself that question, what you might find if you let yourself think about that question, and if you let yourself, you know, make a list or you journal on this question for a few minutes, like when I was asking myself this question, I just started a running list on my phone.
I opened up the notes section and I was like, okay, what do I want in my ideal life? And then I want you to notice something, because as you go to answer that question, what can often happen is what I think of it like one of five things can happen that can kind of get in the way of us really diving deep and answering this question. And the reason that I know this is because these are the things that my brain did to me over the last couple of weeks as I asked this question. So I'm just like trying to, like, dig deep and understand myself and get in touch with what I really want and getting get in touch with my real desires.
And as I started making this list, like I found that my brain wanted to do one of these five things and I just want to show them to you so that as you go to make this list that like, you won't fall for the tricks of your brain. All right. So first, when we ask ourselves what we want, sometimes what our brain will do is immediately go to what it doesn't want. Okay, so you're like, what do you want? And you're like, Well, I don't know, but I know I don't like this and I know I don't want this and I know I don't want this. Right? And it gives you a list instead of the things you want.
It gives you a list of the things that you don't want. The things that it doesn't like of the things that your brain really wishes was different. And instead of telling you what you want, your brain is going to use this as a chance to tell you of everything that has gone wrong in your life and everything that's wrong with you and everything that you don't want. And it can kind of turn into this, like, self-flagellation session, right? And just kind of like a pity party and like, overwhelm you get super overwhelmed, like all the things that that you don't like and that you wish were different. And I just want you to be on to your brain in this moment where you're just giving yourself your true self a chance to to express your desires.
Your brain is going to pipe in there and just tell you a laundry list of things that it doesn't like and things should be different. And you just need to be like on to your brain, all right. Your brain has not spent a lot of time thinking about what it does want. What it does is ruminate and ponder on all the things it doesn't like, and it spends his time looking around for what's gone wrong, right? And so, when you ask this question, sometimes your brain is going to just give you a list of things that you don't want, a list of your problems. So, you want to be on the lookout for that and shut your brain down when it starts doing that.
Second, when you ask yourself, all right, what is it I want? Your brain also might try and just be really vague, right? And tell you that, well, I just want to be happy or I just want to feel better about things. I just I just wanted, like, things to not be so hard. I just want to have my life together. And it's just like, really general and really vague. And, you know, we can't really get traction on creating the things we want from these vague feelings. And so, I just want to give you this sort of like red flag like to look for. If your brain gives you a feeling like, I just want to be happy or I just want to be confident or I just want to feel good about my life, or if it uses like an idiom like find, my brain will say like, I just want to get my act together or I just wish my life wasn't a mess or wasn't a dumpster fire. Like things like this, where your brain is just like generalized things and making it really vague, like we're never going to be able to create change from that kind of vagueness. And so, when your brain says, well, you just got to get your life together, that's what I want.
I just want to have my life together. Like I use that phrase against myself for years. I think all through my 30s, when people whenever I ask myself what I want, I would be like, I just want to have my life together, right? There's nothing actually to work on. It's so vague and there's just this general feeling of dissatisfaction with the life I'm living, right? And so, that is not going to get you very far. And you really got to ask your brain to be more specific. What would that look like? What does that even mean? Right. And remember that every feeling is created by a thought. And so if we're just trying to have a feeling that's not going to be created by, you know, the things in our life, it's going to be created by the way we think about it.
Third, when we ask ourselves what we want, sometimes our brain likes. To shame us for the answer, right? So like, the minute we ask something comes up, something bubbles up inside of us and your brain is like, You shouldn't want that, right? You're a bad person for wanting that. Or like my brain says, Well, like you should have already done that thing. You still want that. You've wanted that thing for decades and you still haven't done it. You must be a lazy, undisciplined person that you haven't done it already, right? So, shame comes up and says like, you've wasted your time and your life and you should have done something about it already.
And this is just embarrassing that you haven't. And it just creates a whole lot of shame, right? And another way that that our brain uses shame against us is it just tells us that what we want might be selfish or that it might not be a good thing that we want, that it might hurt or inconvenience other people or that other people have different expectations of us and we we can't do what we want or it will damage somebody or something else. All right. And so just be aware that sometimes we we do have true desires and we know what they are, but our brain has shamed us for having them.
Okay, the fourth thing that your brain might do when you ask the question about what you want is your brain. Even as those desires are coming up and you're typing them into your phone or you're writing them down on the paper, it's just as the thoughts are coming out of your brain, your brain will immediately start to ask you like, Well, how are you going to do that? That's impossible. You've never been able to do that and it will give you all kinds of reasons why you can't make it happen, why it's impossible, why that kind of thing is not available for someone like you, right? And almost before we even get to start writing down what we want or thinking about what we want, here comes our inner critic.
Or this editor comes along and is just like everything we're saying. It's like crossing it out and being like, Nope, think about something else, because that's never going to happen and that's never going to be possible for you, right? And and you just need to be aware that, like, you have to create a space for yourself where you can just answer the question without having to know how and without thinking that it needs to be within like your current realm of possibility to be a possibility ever in your life. And you've got to really put that critic or that editor in a box and lock it down.
Like I even sometimes like mentally imagine putting my brain in a little lock box and closing and turning the lock and just like letting me speak from like, the desires of my heart without getting any feedback from it, from my brain. All right. So, just recently, I was working with my coach and I was talking about my business and making some changes in it, and she was just like, Well, what do you want? And I was like, Well, you know, I don't know. I don't know. And she's like, I think you do, right? And I just realized that, like, everything that I wanted, as soon as I went to say it out loud, my brain would say, Well, that won't work.
And it would say it won't work because of this, and it won't work because of this, and it won't work because of this. And it just like I couldn't even express and think about what I wanted because my brain just like was just like giving me all the reasons it wouldn't work before or could even, like, say them out loud. All right. So, just be on to your brain for that. You don't have to know how. You just have to know what you want. That's the first step. Okay. How comes later? First, we got to figure out what it is we want, okay. And then the last thing that your brain might say when you ask yourself what you want is your brain will sometimes say, this is kind of a form of shame, but what your brain will say is that doesn't matter, that what you want is stupid, that it doesn't matter, that it's that it's insignificant, that it's not important enough or significant enough to really matter, and that it might not make a difference in the world or, you know, in your life and what you want just isn't that important.
And it doesn't really matter. In fact, before we even know what we want, our brain will tell us that the effort and the energy and the discomfort and the pain that are going to be involved in getting it aren't worth it. And that it doesn't matter anyway and will say, like, all these things that you want don't really matter. And so, then what happens is we end up doing nothing, right? We're afraid that what we want doesn't matter. And so, then we end up doing nothing so that nothing can matter, right? Even to us.
So those are the five things kind of stop us from even finding out what we want. We don't know what we want because our brain is too focused on what we don't want. We're too vague about what it is we want. We're often too ashamed of what we want. We don't think that we can have what we want and we disqualify ourselves before we even ask ourselves what it is we want. And we're afraid that what we want doesn't matter anyway. It's not worth all the effort and energy and failure that might be a part of of creating it. So, those are the things that prevent us from really finding out what we want and. Want you to just be onto your brain to like, quiet those kind of instinctive responses from your brain so that you can have a minute to listen to yourself and to make a list and really ask yourself what it is you want. Because all you have is your life is your time here on earth and you are the one deciding how to spend it. And most of the time we aren't spending it the way we want because we haven't really asked.
Like deep down, our brain has talked us out of the things that we really want. And then ironically, we like end up using our time doing lots of things we don't really want to do right? We end up putting our wants and desires and our dreams and our goals and the things that we really want on hold. And so we've got to start by giving ourself a chance to find out what it is we want. Ask yourself what you want and let yourself answer without falling for any of this stuff that your brain is going to tell you. Okay, all right and then when you know that, when you know what you want, and if it's different than what you have now, then you know that you're going to have to make a change. Which brings us to the second important question, which is, do I want to change? Do you want to? If you truly want this thing in your life, do you want to change in the ways that you're going to need to to be able to create it? Right? Because who you are now has created the life you have now and a different outcome, a different result, a different life, a different desire in your life is going to require you to do things differently.
So, do you want to change? And if the answer is yes, then what is the next thing you need to do in order to change? So for me, the answer to that question for many, many years, do you want to change was like a resounding yes. Like that was what I wanted more than anything in the world. I looked at my life. I did not like what I saw. I wanted something different. And I so desperately wanted to change. And I was always just like, I just want to change. I just wanted to change. I could do anything to change. But no matter what I tried, it just never worked.
I didn't know how, I didn't know how really fundamentally to change. And it just felt like there were like a million things that I should be doing and that I needed to be doing all of them all at once. You know, they all involve doing things differently. And so, then I would say, okay, I'm going to do this differently. I'm going to eat differently. I'm going to use my body and exercise differently. I'm going to use my money differently. I'm going to treat my family differently. And I would start, you know, trying to do that. And then I always stopped. I always gave up. I always stopped doing all the things I needed to do for things to be different.
And what I didn't know then is that to be different in order to change things was that the thing I needed to change was my thoughts. The youth that does things that you want and creates the things you want, that creates your desires that you were going to be taking all the action and making all those choices that creates that life, using their time in a way that creates the things they want and that you will be doing it because you are thinking something different than you are right now. The only reason you're not doing it yet is because you're not thinking the thoughts that are driving the action to do it. Like your current thoughts are creating exactly where you are now, and the only thing that's going to change that. Is changing your thoughts, okay?
So, I know you've heard me say that a hundred million times, right? And maybe you've thought, okay, but what thoughts? What thoughts do I need to change? So, the other day I heard an interview with Stephen Bartlett and maybe some of you have heard of him. He has a really popular podcast called Diary of a CEO. And anyway, in this interview, he shared this idea. He was talking about discipline and doing the things that are hard to do in your life so that you can get the life that you want. And he was talking about whether or not we do things really comes down to this equation. And I thought this was a really powerful way to think about it. So I'm going to offer you this equation and show you how your thoughts are creating this equation in your life. So he said, Whether or not I do the things that get me to what I want, right, Whether or not I'm doing those things and using my time and making the choices I need to make in order to have the things I want.
He said what determines whether or not that happens is this equation, he said. It's why the goal matters to you. So, the reason that you're pursuing the goal, plus the psychological payoff you get from pursuing that goal. So like what you get to think about yourself as you pursue that goal minus, he said, the psychological friction of pursuing the goal. So, that means like all the brain chatter that you get as you're pursuing that goal that is trying to stop you.
All right. So, it's why the goal matters. Plus, whatever psychological payoff you get as you move towards that goal, minus the psychological friction of going after that goal. And if the friction outweighs the total of why the goal matters to you and the psychological payoff you get, then you aren't going to keep taking action towards that goal. So, let me give you an example of this so that like it will be more clear. So, I want you to take this podcast. For example, every week I come in here and I record this podcast. So I'm taking that action in my life and I'm creating a podcast in my life, like on my list of things I want, I want to have a podcast. All right, So perfect. So let's look at why that happens first. Why does the goal matter to me? Like, first of all, like I love. To share the thoughts that have changed my life. I love making a positive contribution in the world. The goal matters to me because I feel like all of us can either add or subtract to the light in the world.
And I want to be a person that adds to that, like positive light that is happening in the world. Also, it helps me build my business. It helps me get the possibility of coaching and let people know that I coach and that I'm here to help. So, it helps me pursue those goals as well. So, there's a lot of good reasons about why I do this podcast. Now we add that all my wise to the psychological payoff of pursuing the goal. Like I love showing up for myself. I love being proud that I have created this thing, you know, for for over four and a half years. I haven't done the math. I don't know how long it's been, but 229 episodes. Like, I love the psychological payoff that I get like that. When I think about like I started something and I have kept doing it, I'm proud of that. I also love the psychological payoff of thinking like I am making a difference with people I love and people I don't even know in the world. And thinking those thoughts makes me feel good, right? So together, the why of my goal and all the psychological payoffs I get from pursuing the goal outweigh the psychological friction I have of pursuing the goal.
Now, what do I mean by that? Psychological friction? That's all the negative thoughts that my brain gives me as I pursue this goal. These are the things my brain tells me. Nobody wants to hear from you. This is a waste of time. It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of effort, takes a lot of energy. And I don't know if you're really like, getting anything out of it. I don't know if it's helping anybody. This is what my brain is telling me all the time. You're just part of the noise. You're just one more voice. That doesn't matter. That's the psychological friction that my brain produces. Sometimes it tells me I don't want to. I'm too tired.
It doesn't matter. There's that thought again, right? And so, all of that psychological friction, that's like coming into that equation as well. But I keep taking action because my Y is bigger than that. And the psychological payoffs and the thoughts that I nurture in my own brain when my brain gives me the negative psychological friction, allow me to keep going. Let me give you one more example. If we take exercise, when I first started, you know, really being a consistent exerciser for the first time in my life, it's about five years ago, right? I never really exercised at all before then. But the goal mattered to me because first of all, I was in so much pain. I was I had a lot of back pain. I had a lot of physical pain. And I was, you know, 44, 45 years old. And I did not want to live my whole life like that. I was like, it's time. I have to make a change. I can't live the next 40, 50 years in this much pain. I'm not as active as I want to be. I'm I don't have any energy. Like, I had a whole lot of physical reasons why the goal mattered to me.
All right. As I pursued that goal, the psychological payoff was like I developed confidence and like I was proud of myself every time I showed up. And I liked thinking about myself as somebody who was capable of getting stronger and making progress towards things. Now, for me, there was a lot of psychological friction, especially as I first started pursuing that goal. Like every day my brain told me, like, You don't belong here. You look like an idiot. Every time I went to the gym, my brain was just like, You just do not belong here.
And what you're doing isn't making any difference. I can't see any difference. Like, I remember three months in looking in the mirror and being like, I can't see any difference. All I know is you've spent a lot of time and effort and energy and I can't see a single difference, right? So there was like a lot of psychological friction. This happens to me like whenever I'm pursuing a goal 29 or 29 or when I'm doing my swim run, right? There's a why the goal matters. There's a psychological payoff I get as I pursue that goal. And then there's all this friction that my brain's just like, This is a waste of time. You're not very good at this.
You're bad at this. What is the point? This doesn't even matter. Like and every day I'm combating that friction and deciding like, am I going to keep going forward? All right. And what I want to point out to you is that as we pursue the things we want, if we just let our brain kind of just like do what it's going to do, that psychological friction is going to overcome our desires. Almost every time our whys will get smaller. The psychological payoff in pursuing the goal gets smaller and the friction just gets bigger. And that's why we stop going towards the things that we want. Now, what I want to point out to you and the most important part of this is that this equation is always changing. We can manipulate the equation and influence the equation and change the equation with our thoughts. So, if I have a desire, if there's something that I want to pursue in my life and I want to keep pursuing it, I have to make sure my thoughts about why I'm doing it, that I'm always like strengthening those and remembering those and emphasizing those and telling myself why the thing I want matters.
I also spend a lot of time working on the psychological payoffs, encouraging myself, loving myself, keeping my commitments to myself, making sure that I feel good about the things that I'm doing and feeling a lot of positive emotion from the things that I've decided and doing whatever I can to increase my enjoyment and ease in pursuing that goal and talking to myself in really positive ways, right? And like I have to make sure that those psychological payoffs are strong and powerful. And then finally, I'm constantly chipping away and working at and answering. Back to all the psychological friction my brain is giving me as I pursue my goals. I'm like, Well, my brain says it doesn't matter. I answer back. Of course it does right when my brain says I'm the slowest one out here, I remind myself that it doesn't matter that I still get to do what I want, right? And so, I put a lot of effort into diminishing the friction, both psychologically and physically, that my brain is producing as much as possible.
And I think for me and for a lot of people, one of the greatest pieces of like sort of psychological friction we have is we pursue what we want is shame, just as I talked about before, like our brain is just telling us, like, you shouldn't want this or you're not good enough to have it, or you should have already done it, or you don't belong out here. Who do you think you are pursuing this goal anyway? Our brain just wants to create so much, you know, shame and friction there to keep us from the things we want, right? Maybe it creates a lot of imposter syndrome asking ourselves, like, as we go to pursue our goals and dreams.
Who do you think you are? Right? I was just talking to my daughter the other day and she was talking about her, her goals. And she had this thought. Like every time I look around at other people's art, my brain tells me that I don't belong here. Right? That's the psychological friction that will stop us going after the things that we really want. And I just want you to see that very, very clearly that all the thoughts we have about ourselves, the stories we have about ourselves, they are going to be like either a part of that positive psychological payoff or they're going to add to our psychological friction.
And that's why what you think matters so much. Your thoughts are controlling this equation. And if you aren't taking action, you aren't creating the things you want. It's because somewhere along the line, the amount of friction and negative thoughts your brain is producing about it is greater than the positive thoughts you have about it or the reason why you are doing it. And that is the best news. Because if you want different things in your life, what that means is you got to dig into that equation and find out what do I need to think about why I'm doing this? What do I need to think about myself for doing it? And what do I need to think in order to reduce all of that friction and negativity that my brain is creating around the pursuit of this goal? And this is where coaching can make such a difference in your life.
Like when I figured out that like I wasn't the problem, that it was actually my thoughts, all of this friction and that was that was stopping me every time I tried to be someone new or do something new or go after new goals, when I could see that psychological mental friction that was stopping me, that resistance there in my brain, then everything changed for me. And one thought at a time, one area of my life, I started to change. So, if the answer to that second question is yes, like it was for me, yes, I want to change, then what you need to figure out is a way to change your thoughts, your thoughts about why you want what you want, and your thoughts about how you feel about yourself as you go to pursue that goal.
Because if you have more negative thoughts than positive ones about your ability and your capacity and your right to do it, then it's not going to add up into the change you want. You're going to stop. So, if you want to change and if you want to work with me as your coach, let me tell you what that looks like. I've recently made a bunch of changes in my private coaching club so that I can help you even better. The club used to involve a group coaching element, but over the last six months, as I have run that club, I found that most people really feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, sharing their lives and thoughts and the things that are going on for them when they feel like other people might be listening and judging them.
And that really gets in the way of them being able to share openly the thoughts that they're having and to be able to change them. And so, I've changed my private coaching club solely to one on one coaching. All of the coaching is done in a one on one format.
So, that means it's just going to be me and you, me and you talking about what you want and what's in your way. All those thoughts that keep getting in the way of creating what you want. And then we're going to work together to help you change those thoughts so that one by one you can create the things you want in your life. So, there are two options for you when you join that club, depending on how much coaching you want or need. So, you can opt in to meet with me every other week. Or there's an option to meet with me every week. And when you join the club, you can join anytime. And also you can leave any time. So, I used to have coaching that was set up like on a three month or a six month or a year long basis. And I just decided that I want to make it as easy as possible for people to opt into coaching so you can decide for yourself how much coaching you want. Kind of like like a gym membership. And if you want to stop or you want to take a break or you want to cancel your membership, then I will just give your coaching spot to somebody else. And I just will say to here, that is much easier to opt out than it is to end your gym membership. Like I think I told you, like I joined a new gym so that I could have a swimming pool for the swim run. And then I wanted to stop that membership because the swim run is over and I don't need a swimming pool anymore. And it was like a two day process to cancel that membership.
So, it won't be like that in the club. You just have to let me know before the end of the month and I will cancel your membership for the next month. And when you're when you're done coaching or you want to take a break from coaching, you just have to let me know and I'll and we'll cancel it for the next month. So, I know that's a lot to take in over a podcast. If you want to learn more, you can go to my website because the coaching is one on one. Now those spots are limited, so reach out to me if you're interested in having one of them and if you want to try coaching for yourself to see how it works, to see does what I'm thinking really make a difference? Is it really the reason that I'm not living the life I want? Then I want to encourage you to sign up for a free coaching session and just try it for yourself.
I think in general we're really wary of free things. And when I say come to a free coaching session, like your brain goes on high alert and is like, Oh, I don't want to get stuck or obligated into something I don't want, and I just want you to know that it doesn't work like that. Like that session is just there to see if you like coaching, if it works for you. And then if you want more and there's a spot for you, we'll get you signed up in the club. But if not, it is not a problem. Coaching changed my life and that's why I started my business because it helped me go from just like wishing things could be different to finally making them different.
And I wanted to be part of that kind of change in the world. I wanted to to make that difference in the world. And so if my coaching is useful and helpful to you, then I would love to work with you. And if not, like I want you to do what's best for you. I will just say to here, like is coaching the only way to change your life? Of course not. Things always change when our why and our psychological payoff is greater than the psychological friction that is being created by our brain. That's what allows us to take different action, that equation. And there are probably a lot of ways to do that.
I just think coaching is the easiest way and it is the way that that made all the difference for me. So whatever you do in your life, remember that it's only really going to matter to you. It will only really ever be significant to you. Like the only thing that really matters is did you live the life the way you wanted to? This is the question that only you can answer and the only one that's really going to matter in the end. It's your life. Did you live at the way you wanted to? Every result in your life is there because of the thought you think. And if you ever want to change that equation, if you ever want that to be different, you will change those results by changing your thoughts. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome. I love you for listening and I'll see you next week.
Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. If you want to take the things I've talked about and apply them in your life so that you can love your Earth life experience, sign up for a free coaching session at Aprilpricecoaching.com This is where the real magic happens and your life starts to change forever. As your coach, I'll show you that the way things are is not the way things have to stay and that, my friends, is 100% awesome.
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