On Saturday, on the way home from the gym, David said, “Maybe you could coach me a little. There’s something bothering me and I know it shouldn’t, but it does.”
He went on to share some thoughts and feelings he was having about other people, and then he said, “I know I’m judging them and it’s terrible.”
David thinks what a lot of us think: that if we think "bad thoughts" and feel "bad feelings," then we are bad. And so as he judges others, he judges himself a whole lot more.
And that's always what keeps us stuck.
Because when we judge ourselves for what we are thinking, then we stuff the thoughts away and they stay hidden away in our brain, making us feel bad.
You are supposed to have thoughts that create negative emotion for you—even negative emotions like judgment and jealousy and defensiveness and anger. You are supposed to be having thoughts and you are supposed to be having all the emotions they create....
First, I wanted to let you know that in a couple of weeks I'm doing a podcast episode answering your questions. If you want to ask me a question, you can leave a message by clicking here. You might even get to hear yourself on the podcast! It's gonna be awesome!
For today's video, I wanted to give you a tool that might help you if you ever have a hard time changing your thoughts.
Because even though we all understand that our thoughts are creating our feelings, and we all want to feel better, it can still seem difficult to change our thoughts.
I hope this helps!
On Friday night, someone in our neighborhood let off a loud firecracker. The sound boomed through the house and our dog, Auggie, nearly lost his mind.
He started barking like crazy, running around in circles and scratching at the door, begging to be let out. He wanted to personally assess the magnitude of danger we were in, confront it head on, and do what he could to protect us.
My daughter tried to pick him up to calm him down and it just made things worse. He started scrabbling around in her arms trying to get free, barking even more, and bucking desperately against her hold.
It took him a long time to calm down.
Because Auggie thinks he has a job to do. Auggie thinks his job is to protect the rest of his pack. He can hear and see better than the rest of us and he’s built to notify us of danger—like neighbors having parties, or birds landing in our yard, or nefarious delivery people daring to approach the door.
He doesn’t know that we’re not in actual...
Do you ever wonder why you do things that you wish you wouldn't do?
Do you ever wonder why you don't do the things you think you should?
Today I want to show you that we always have a good reason for the way we act. And the more curious we can get about that reason, the more power we have to change what we're doing.
Whether you want to stop doing something or start doing something, I think this video will help.
P.S. I love knowing that the way things are and the way I am, is not the way things have to stay. I have unlimited power to change and so do you!
I used to be addicted to the Home Shopping Network.
Seriously. I couldn't sleep without it.
At the time, I was over forty years old, overweight, deeply in debt, and living in a rented house. Every night I went to bed next to my husband that I resented for not loving me or helping me enough. And while he and our children slept, I lay awake, worrying about how to pay the bills, adding up all the ways I was failing, and anticipating all the terrible things that might go wrong.
As miserable and terrified as I was, I couldn’t even kneel down and pray for help because I knew God was disappointed in me. I imagined him up there shaking his head, “You did this to yourself, April. You did it all wrong and I can’t help you now.”
Night after night, I lay there wishing everything was different.
The only relief I had from hating myself and hating my life, was the Home Shopping Network. I kept it on all night—listening to the sparkly hosts talk in luxurious,...
Believing new things seems complicated. Our brain tells us it's hard, or even impossible.
But it's actually WAY easier than you think.
Today I'm sharing the fastest way to believe new things about yourself. I hope it helps!
P.S. Did you know you get to believe whatever you want? WHATEVER you want! Sign up for a free coaching consultation and I'll show you how.
I have been coloring my own hair in my bathroom, with a box of dye from the drugstore, since March. It wasn’t pretty, but it did the job; it covered all the grays. And I decided that the dull, one-note, dark brown helmet that resulted was not the worst tragedy to come out of the pandemic.
But the home color jobs, coupled with the fact that I hadn’t had a haircut for 8 months was starting to make me feel like Wednesday Adams.
Finally, last Saturday, I went to the salon for the first time since the pandemic began. My darling stylist looked at me with compassion and shrugged, “You do what you gotta do.” And then she got to work.
She colored it, she put in gorgeous caramel highlights, she worked her balayage magic, she made neat stacks of foil around my head, and applied a gloss. She meticulously sectioned and painted and wrapped my hair one tiny section at a time. Then she shampooed and deep conditioned, cut and layered and styled my hair. I felt completely...
Sometimes it seems like the only thing our brain is good at is finding problems.
But where our brain's really excel is in finding solutions, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas to fix all those problems. That's why we live in a world with cars and air conditioning and iphones. A human brain went to work one day to solve a problem.
If you want to get your brain to do what it does best and start solving more of your problems, I have a little tip for you today. I hope it helps.
P.S. Every day I help my clients solve their hardest problems and I can help you too. You can sign up for a free coaching consultation and try it for yourself.
Ever since the pandemic began, here’s what happens at our house on Friday nights. David brings home pizza. And then he says, “What movie should we watch?”
Then we all spend the next two hours scrolling through Netflix and Amazon Prime and Disney+ trying to find the right movie. Suggestions are made. And shot down. Trailers are watched. And abandoned. Google is consulted. And disparaged. Complaints are lodged. And seconded.
It’s a lot of drama about a little decision.
Cause none of us want to waste our time watching the wrong movie or watching a dumb movie or watching a movie we don’t like or watching a movie we’ve already seen. And so instead, we waste our time deciding.
Or rather, we waste our time not deciding.
And it’s painful.
Notice how we’re trying to make our Friday night “better” by choosing “right,” but it only makes things worse. We want to pick the best movie so we can avoid negative emotions like...
Your brain doesn't care about your goals.
Instead, it tells you that maybe you don't really want what you think you want.
Whatever you're trying to do differently—lose weight, build a business, improve your marriage, develop a spiritual habit—is hard. And when it's hard, your brain tries to get out of it by telling you that you don't even want that thing anyway.
My brain tried this on me just this morning. (Nice try, brain. )
I hope this helps you get more of what you really want.