Episode 50: What I've Learned about Leaving My Comfort Zone

Hello, podcast universe! Welcome to Episode 50 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and holy cow, you guys, I can hardly believe we've been together for 50 episodes. For me it feels a little bit miraculous and like I've passed a serious milestone. And I have to say that I love this podcast and I kinda love me for making it. And I so love you for listening to it and sharing it and passing it along to your friends. I so appreciate you being on this journey with me.

00:01:08:07 - 00:01:39:05
So how are you doing out there? We're all just kind of waiting aren't we? In so many ways—we're just waiting. And for me, it has been an unexpectedly emotional and difficult week. That's the way of it sometimes. My sister sent me this gorgeous poem the other day called Things to Do in the Belly of the Whale by Dan Albergotti and it was just a kind of a poignant list of things to do in the belly of the whale, right? In the middle of disaster, as it were. Or maybe in the pause between disasters, right?

And there was this line in the poem that said, "Be thankful that you are here, swallowed with all hope, where you can rest and wait." And that line I think says it so much better than I can. That's how I feel I feel. A little bit in the belly of the whale swallowed with all my hope where I am resting and waiting, hopefully for better days.

So you guys—50 episodes!! if you've been listening for a while and for those of you that have been with me for all 50 episodes I want to talk directly to you. I'm so incredibly grateful and humbled that you have come and listened and been a part of this experience with me. And I hope that over these weeks together you have really been able to get some good things from this podcast.

00:02:22:00 - 00:02:42:09
And I really want to invite you and encourage you to take all of this one step further to create the life you want—to not just listen to these ideas and not just think about what it would be like to have something different in your life, but to really move forward and take action for yourself. And so I think the thing you need to do is hire me to be your life coach.

It would be so fun and it would change everything for you. Really and truly. It would be the action to end all inaction in your life. It would be the beginning of the end of the way you have always done things. And if you're ready, then I'm ready to be your coach. And you can sign up to see what that's like, to see what it's like to work with me with a free session—to see if for a good fit and to see how coaching could change things for you. And you can do that at my website aprilpricecoaching.com.

00:03:12:25 - 00:03:32:07
So today I thought I would talk to you about what I have learned as I have created 50 podcast episodes, in the hopes that the things that I have learned about myself and my own brain through this process will help you to be able to go and do hard things and to do the things that you really want in your life—the things that are outside of your comfort zone.

Because what I've learned is that our brains are not really that creative when it comes to our survival instincts, right? When it comes to the things that it tells us that keep us alive in order to discourage us from taking action in our life.

So remember that the instinctive, primitive response of the human brain is to keep us alive by adhering to the motivational triad. Which means that on default, the brain seeks for things that bring it pleasure. It avoids things that create pain or potential pain. And it does everything it can to save energy. And all the amazing things we do as human beings in terms of creating and innovating and inventing and pushing the boundaries of our physical limitations—all of those things go against the motivational triad.

00:04:19:21 - 00:04:39:29
Simply put, when you do anything new and challenging, even if it's only new and challenging to you, you have to work against the protests of your own brain. Your brain wants you to take the easy way. Your brain wants you to stay exactly where you are and who you are because as you are right now, you are alive and that's its whole goal.

So it's like why do we want to mess with that, right? It doesn't understand why you would ever want to change anything and do anything differently because this is working. You are alive. And why do we want to mess with success?

But the reason is—the reason that we want to do something differently—is that there is a part of us, I believe it is the divine part of each of us, our spirit, that wants so much more for us. That wants us to try. That wants us to take on challenges. That wants us to innovate and grow and see what else is possible, what else we have to learn and what else we have to give. To see if we really tried what we could do with our talents and our creativity and our perspective. To see who we could become.

00:05:19:14 - 00:05:34:15
And so as you respond to that part of you, the part of you that whispers to you about your potential and your capacity and wants so much more for you than merely surviving this earth life experience, I hope the things that I I have learned in doing this podcast will help you.

I know that your goals are different than mine, right? This isn't about how to start a podcast, but it's how to get your brain out of your own way so that you can go after your own goals and dreams and plans. Because whatever those goals are, these principles that I'm going to talk about, the things that I've learned, they will apply to you. The things that I've learned apply no matter what it is you want outside of your comfort zone or outside of the way you've always done things and outside of your current capacity.

00:06:01:21 - 00:06:35:00
Okay, so the first thing that I have learned is that we live at an unprecedented time in human history. And I think about this a lot actually. Like okay, I record this podcast in the closet of my son's bedroom in my house just outside of Phoenix, Arizona. And you are listening to it in your earbuds or in your car or as you make dinner in Canada or New York or California or Italy. And you listen to it whenever you want. I don't even have to be there. I don't even have to know you personally. We don't have to prearranged a time to meet and share ideas.

Like when you really think about that my voice was in one place a closet in Arizona and now it is wherever you are listening—it is so amazing, right? And the fact that everyone gets a voice and all the voices are valid is also so incredible. Like the opportunities to share what you think or share what you have created with other people on this planet, regardless of who you are or where you are, is kind of astounding.

Like not only in terms of all of human history but even just in my lifetime, the opportunity to do what you want and put stuff out into the world is unprecedented because of the Internet, because of social media, because of media platforms and publishing changes, and video advancements, and all kinds of technology. There are so many platforms and opportunities to be heard and seen.

Like in the past having access to the ears and minds of other people was limited in so many ways. If you go way back it was limited to just who you could talk to in your immediate area, right? Like the person right next to you. And if you wanted your ideas to travel, you had to travel and you take your ideas with you.

00:07:42:29 - 00:08:08:14
And then there was radio and you had access to a frequency then you could talk to lots of people at once but not everyone could have a station and not everyone got a channel and not everyone had a radio. You had to have money in order to have a platform and share your ideas and so certain people with money or power kind of controlled that. The same goes for television. When it began there were just a few networks and a few ways and a few hours in the day that you could get your stuff out there, right?

Seth Godin calls this idea carriage. And he said that not that long ago there were such limited opportunities that were controlled just by the few in order to be able to get your ideas out into the world and share your perspective. Like you had to have carriage. You had to have access to be able to transport your ideas and perspective to others. And that used to be so limited limited by space and time and money and access to the limited technology that was available.

But today there has been no other time in human history when so many people have access to so much carriage. Like I have carriage and I'm a nobody. Like whatever you want to create in the world, whatever you want to invent, or sell, or share, or offer, or try to in some way to help, you can. And because of the time we live in you can find an audience who is interested in your particular view of the world and you can be immediately transported into the lives of people that you can help in the ways that you want.

00:09:05:18 - 00:09:20:28
And maybe your goals and dreams are much more personal than that, right? Maybe they are just things that you want to accomplish on a personal level without really sharing it. But I think the unprecedented access to information and learning and knowledge and help is such a gift to each of us in this way.

My personal journey of change and growth started with one Instagram post from an old friend. She made an offer to help people lose weight and get healthy and everything in my life where I am today snowballed from that post. If I didn't see that post, if I didn't have access to that information, so much of my life would be unchanged.

Anything you want to know, anything you want to create, anything you want to change, or do, or become, there has never been more access to help and information and strategies and youtube videos about exactly how to get what you want out of your life. Like we live at an amazing time on earth and I think you should make the most of it.

00:09:58:18 - 00:10:19:13
Okay, so this brings us to number two. The second thing that I've learned. So the second thing that I've learned from creating this podcast is that there is no such thing as "ready." There is no such thing as arriving at a place where you feel totally prepared and totally confident and ready to do this thing outside your comfort zone. No matter what that is right? No matter what it is you want to do.

And we are, too many times, just waiting to feel ready. We are waiting for a feeling of confidence to descend upon us before we can do the things that we've always talked about doing.

So the reason that there's no such thing as being ready is because ready is a feeling. Being prepared and confident and sure and certain and ready—those are our feelings. And our feelings are never created by the things outside of us. Feeling ready isn't automatically granted to us when we get a degree or take a course or watch someone else do it. Feeling ready doesn't happen when the timing is right and our kids are all in school or when you're healthy enough or when you know enough. It is never, ever, ever going to come from an external circumstance.

00:11:01:25 - 00:11:14:09
But that's what we think, right? It's what I tell myself even today. It's what I hear from my clients. That the time isn't right or we don't know enough yet or we need a certificate or a diploma or permission of some kind to do what we want to do.

The most important thing I can tell you is that the feeling you are waiting for, like all of our feelings, is created by our thoughts and nothing else. If you want to feel ready you have to think the thoughts that create the feeling of ready inside of you.

And I can hear you, right? You're like, "April but how can I think thoughts like that when I'm not ready. How can I simply believe or pretend that I'm prepared and confident and ready to do something?"

And I'm not asking you to pretend. Pretending won't work. But what if you believed that there isn't anything such as ready, right? What if you believed that ready doesn't even exist. That it isn't a thing. And most importantly what if you believe that it isn't required to begin. If you can't get to a feeling of confidence, start by believing that you don't need to feel that in order to start. If you believe that you don't need to feel ready to begin that will shift your thinking enough to start taking steps forward.

00:12:12:22 - 00:12:36:20
So Dan Sullivan created a construct or a model that kind of describes this process really perfectly. And he calls it the four C's and he says that you don't start with confidence right? When we go to do something new we don't start with confidence, which is what we're all waiting for. But in fact he says that's where you end. You end with confidence right? We never start with it. And more importantly you don't need to start with it.

So this is how he describes the process of doing new things in your life. He says the first "C" is not confidence. The first "C" is commitment. You just decide that you're gonna do this thing that you want to do. Then the next "C" is courage. You simply take action with courage. Not with confidence but with courage. And this is what I'm talking about when I say there's no such thing as ready. You just decide that you don't need to feel prepared or ready to start and you just use courage to begin anyway.

After courage comes capability right? Where you develop the capacity to do the things you want to do. And then after capability is confidence. Right? Now notice how far down the road confidence is, right? You have to do a lot of work. You have to get in a lot of reps to reach confidence. That's why you have to do the work and lots of work first.You can't wait to begin until you feel confident because it doesn't come until much later.

You make a commitment and then you use courage to begin. And then the more you work on the goal the greater capacity and capability you will have. And eventually that will turn into confidence.

00:13:46:00 - 00:14:19:29
And this is exactly how it was for me with my podcast. I just decided I was going to do it right?I didn't know how. I didn't know what I would say on Episode 30 or Episode 3 for that matter. I didn't know anything about how to publish it or host it or recorded or edit it or even if anybody would want to listen to it. But I didn't wait to be ready and to know for sure with 100% confidence that I could do it. I just decided I was going to. My first episode is going to come out on this day and the next episode will come out a week after that. And every week I will publish another podcast and I'm committed.

And after I made that commitment, then came the moment of courage. And it did take courage. I can't even tell you how much courage it took me. I remember telling my husband the night before I went live, when no one even knew it existed no open listening. I told David like, "I not only feel like I'm naked in Times Square. I feel like somebody peeled my skin off as well." I felt so vulnerable. It was as close to terror as I have ever been. And I just wanted to run. Right?

But instead I used courage and I just kept showing up and showing up and showing up. Week after week, using courage and after a while that moved into capability. And my podcast got better and better. And I even have moments now where I will listen to parts of my podcast and think, "Wow that was really good. I should write that down!" And I even feel a little bit confident about it and about what I have to offer other people. But I could never begin there. Do you see? How could I possibly begin there, without any experience or without any doing ahead of time.

So first you have to nurture the belief that there is no such thing as ready. There is just commitment and courage. And you use that until you get to capability. And you use that until you get to confidence.

00:15:38:26 - 00:15:58:05
I also love the thought that what you have now, as you are, is so valuable. The knowledge that you have accumulated through your life experience and your education and your exploration is valuable. You have everything you need right now to begin. Commit. Have courage. And do it.

Okay, number three. The next thing that I have learned is that there is no wrong way. So you might disagree with me like, "You're doing this all wrong," But the fear of doing it wrong, or not doing it right, or not doing it like someone else does it, keeps us from really going after so many of our dreams.

So you might not know this but there are a lot of podcast guys out there. There are even a lot of podcasts about thought work and personal development and managing your mind. And I hate to tell you this because I love having you as my listener but there are probably even better podcasts out there.

But here's the thing. I can use those other podcasts and other formats and the other way people do it to believe that I'm doing it wrong and that I should be doing it their way or doing it the right way. Or I can use all the evidence of these other podcasts to believe that in fact there is no wrong way. There are a million ways to host a podcast. There are a million ways to reach your goal, whatever it is. There are a million ways to get from where you are now to where you want to be. And you aren't doing it wrong because there isn't a wrong way. All of it is your way.

00:17:12:08 - 00:17:28:19
So I remember when I was first lifting weights in the gym, I would see all these people at the gym or on Instagram and it seemed like they were getting way better results than me. It seemed like in eight weeks or twelve weeks they had completely transformed their bodies and I was just pretty much the same after twelve weeks, right?

And I thought so often and I told my husband all the time, "I must be doing it wrong. I must be missing something. They know something that I don't know." But the truth is that as long as I didn't stop and just keep going, then there was no wrong way. I was always going to get there, if I never stopped and I never gave up. And in fact thinking that I was doing it wrong only slowed me down, only caused self-doubt, only cause my brain to want to give up.

And it was the same with my podcast. So I listen to a lot of podcasts and the way I do it is different from the way most of my coaches and other podcasters do. Like I am way more emotional. And I do way more laughing and crying than you're probably supposed to. And I share way too many personal stories than most of the people I listen to. I do it my way, right?

And if I spend my time thinking that I gotta figure out the right way to do it and do it the way someone else did, then I spin in self-doubt and indecision and I don't get any closer to my goal. So whatever it is that you want to do in your life, whatever you want to accomplish—losing weight or having a better marriage or starting a business or writing the screenplay or selling your art—like whatever it is, the idea that you're doing it wrong will only keep you stuck. The idea that you don't know the right way to do it keeps you from doing.

00:18:46:26 - 00:19:10:22
And I'm telling you what I know is that there is no wrong way. There is just your way and your way is perfect. Your way is the way you are supposed to do it. Even if it takes longer. Even if it doesn't look like everybody else's path. Even if it's not a straight line. Right? Use that evidence that other people have done it differently than you to believe, not that you're doing it wrong, but as evidence that in fact there is no wrong way.

There are a million ways. Ask yourself, "If I knew there wasn't a wrong way to go after my dream, what would I do?" This question will allow you to see how thinking there's a right way is just holding you back. Just do the next thing. Follow the breadcrumbs, is what I like to say. If there isn't a wrong way, then what's next? And just follow the breadcrumbs, one at a time.

00:19:33:04 - 00:19:50:07
Okay, the fourth thing that I've learned that I think will be valuable to you as you pursue your own goals and dreams is that your brain is never going to stop protesting. And by this I mean that self-doubt and fear and insecurity are all part of the process. And that is never going away.

Your brain's job is to protest about anything that isn't the status quo, anything different right? Anything outside of the comfort zone or the cave, as I like to call it. Your brain is going to argue and put up a fight about anything that is hard or scary or makes you vulnerable to failure or criticism. That is its job and it never gets laid off.

What I want you to know is that just because your brain protests this is not a reason to stop or not begin in the first place. And as I said at the beginning, the real battle to live a life where we reach our goals and go after our dreams takes place in our own minds. This is where the real battle is for each of us.

Almost every day my brain tells me that we should quit or that we never should have started, right? In regards to every single goal I have. In the choices they make with my food. In the choices I make to move my body and build my muscles. In the choices I make with my business, in creating a podcast, in my writing, in my coaching, and my spiritual life. My brain would just like me to settle to just be satisfied.

00:20:51:24 - 00:21:11:24
Just this morning as I went to make an outline for my podcast my brain said, "I think 50 is enough. Right? Why are we even doing this? What else do you really have to say? Haven't you already said it all? You've proven your point. Let's just be done. What? Are we going to do this forever? Right? There has to be a stopping point somewhere and Episode 50 is just as good as any. It's a nice round number."

Do you see? My brain just likes to offer a constant commentary on why this is a bad idea and why we shouldn't have any goals at all. And your brain is no different. The difference between the life you have and the life you want is simply how much credence you give to that commentary and how much you believe your own brain and give into its constant doubt and needling and urges to quit. That is the difference between here and there.

I will just say this is why I love having a coach and where a coach can make so much difference for you. My coach shows me all the time how these optional thoughts aren't true at all and how they are preventing me from accomplishing what I really want. What my highest self really wants. Your brain is going to protest and you have to be the boss of your brain.

I can't tell you how many podcasts I've published with my brain throwing an absolute fit while I do it. I can't tell you how many times I've told David, "This one is terrible and everyone's going to hate me and I don't know why I thought this was a good idea." Probably like 48 out of 50. Because that is what my brain is just always saying.

00:22:23:18 - 00:22:38:11
But the reason there are 50 podcasts here and not 5 is that I just decided to act anyway. I just moved forward despite the protests. I tell my brain that it is 100% wrong about all of that and I just keep going.

And that is really and truly the point of an Earth life experience—to override that scared, human part of you that wants to quit and give in and hide. To overcome the primitive parts of you that don't want to stretch and try and fail and succeed and become. To rise above the part of you that just begs you to settle. This is why you are here. And no matter what goal you have, no matter what dream you want to pursue, the best reason to do those things is because you develop the skill and the practice to overcome yourself to come up against yourself and move forward anyway. That is the work you came to earth to do.

So maybe you remember a few podcasts back, I told you about Mel Urie who was the first and only woman to finish the Uberman triathlon, which is the longest triathlon endurance event in the world. And when she was interviewed about that race and other races that she's done she said, "I never think about quitting."

And she says that's because she can't believe her own brain. She said she never believes her own brain when it says it's time to quit or that it's too hard or that it's too painful to continue forward towards her goals. She's like, "You cannot trust your brain and it will always lie to you."

00:23:49:09 - 00:24:18:24
And so when she was out there on this incredible endurance event she would only believe her body. She knew she couldn't trust her brain. And so she would know that it was time to stop and rest when she was running and her legs wouldn't go in a straight line anymore. She said she would be like focused on the ground ahead of her and her leg would like swing out to the side and take like a random step sideways. So she had to look at her body to know that it was too fatigued to keep going because she had so trained herself not to listen to her brain.

So whenever I go after a goal and it's hard my brain always ask me, "Why are we doing this? What is the point? We don't have to do this. This is optional. Why are we doing this?" And maybe your brain asks you the same questions. Maybe you've tried to go after a goal only to come up against your brain and have it ask, "Why are we even doing this? What is the point? Does this even matter? Why are we doing it?"

And so I want to give you a little tool that Mel Urie shared and it's been a really useful way for me to think about things. And maybe it will help you as well.

00:24:48:15 - 00:25:08:03
So on one particular ultra triathlon that she was running over a series of five days, for a number of reasons she missed the cut off on the bike to be able to qualify to keep running the race for time. Right? She was allowed to still run the course but not for qualification. They wouldn't be keeping her time, so she would just be doing it for the sake of doing it.

And so she got up on the third day to do this run and she was so sick right? She was retching, her body was in so much pain, and she said her brain was just going crazy. And it kept asking her what my brain is always asking me, "Why are we doing this? Why are you doing this?"

And she said that she realized that she just didn't have a good reason to stop. Now I think being sick and retching on this side of the road is a good reason to stop. That's just me. It wasn't a good reason for Mel Urie. She said, "I don't have a good reason to stop. So I'm just gonna keep running until I find one." Right?

00:25:42:02 - 00:26:00:27
And a couple of hours later her brain said, "Why are you still going. None of this counts. Why are we still doing this?" And again she said, "I don't have a good reason to stop. If I quit now, then what was the point of yesterday? What was the point of battling all this way if I quit now? I don't have a good reason to quit."

So notice the weaker mindset that our brain wants to offer us and that Mel Urie's brain offered her: We don't have to do this. Why am I doing this? And then the stronger more powerful mindset that she chose was: I need to find a reason to quit. I need a good reason to stop. Versus what we usually say: "I need a reason to keep going," she said "I need a good reason to stop. And I didn't have one."

So this is what I want to offer you. Instead of asking yourself, "Why am I doing this?" and then needing an answer to keep going. Instead ask yourself, "Why would I not? Why would I not keep going? Why would I quit? What is the reason to quit? And if I quit then what was the point of yesterday? What was the point of all the effort I've put forward already? What is the reason to quit?"

And when you ask the question that way, "What is the reason to quit?" what you're going to find are all the excuses of the human brain. Right? It's hard. I'm tired. It's scary. So for Mel Urie, the reasons that her brain offered her to quit (It's hard. I'm sick. I'm tired. It doesn't count) weren't good enough reasons to stop. They were just the protests of her human brain. On schedule, right? On time. On cue. Just like always. But her higher self didn't have a good reason to quit so she kept going.

00:27:21:01 - 00:27:41:19
And this can be so powerful for us. So when we go after our goals, the weaker mindset is always questioning why we should keep going, where the stronger one can ask, "Why would I stop? Why would I quit? None of the reasons my primitive brain gives me are good reasons to stop, right? It's hard. I'm tired. It's not making a difference.

And so looking at it this way allows you to see the truth of it. My brain wants me to quit but my higher self doesn't. The highest part of me wants me to grow and see what I'm capable of becoming. So ask yourself, "What would my highest self do right now? What would my highest Self want? What would my highest self think?

00:28:02:18 - 00:28:25:08
Okay, so the last thing that I've learned that I want to share with you is the idea that it's going to take all of us. So one of the reasons that we don't pursue our goals or our dreams or put our work out into the world is that we think that someone else is already doing it and someone else is doing it better. It's already been done. It's already been said and written and sung about, right? It's all been done before and this keeps us from putting ourselves out there.

I can't tell you how many times my brain has told me that what I'm talking about isn't new. It isn't rocket science. It isn't new what we're saying and somebody else said it better. But this just isn't true.

And I love the thought that it's going to take all of us. I have needed all of my coaches and all of my teachers and all of the prophets and all of the scriptures and all of the perspectives and all of the writers to show me the same things in a slightly different way. So that I can learn it and see it in a slightly different way. I needed them to say it in their way, to give it to me with their experience, and their lens, and their perspective.

I find so much value in hearing the same thing in a new way. The human experience is not an easy one for any of us and it's going to take all of us to help us navigate it and thrive in it and ease our suffering in it. I need all of my teachers and so do you and so do the people that are waiting for you to put your work into the world.

00:29:24:05 - 00:29:46:00
There is no one that can do it like you and what you have to contribute is valuable. Believe that it's going to take all of us doing it in our own way, saying it in our own way, writing it in our own way, seeing it in our own way, and sharing it, in order to maximize our human experience and learn the things we all need to learn while we're here.

Okay, my friends, that's what I have for you today. We live in a remarkable time where you have so much capacity and opportunity to make a contribution and live a life you love. Don't wait to be ready. There is no such thing. There is not a wrong way to do the things you want to do. Just keep following the breadcrumbs. Expect your brain to protest along the way and understand that that's just a part of it. That your primitive brain doesn't want what your higher self wants and the deciding factor is the one that you listen to. And know that it's going to take all of us. And that what you have to offer is valuable, especially for your own growth and development.

00:30:27:22 - 00:30:52:12
I want you to know that you can do anything you want. You can have any life you want. The limitations we see are self-imposed and that means that they are conquerable, that means that we can overcome them. And that my friends is 100% awesome. Go do the hard thing. Leave your comfort zone. Create a life you love. I love you for listening and I'll see you next week!