Episode 62: The Miracle of Change with Danny Deaton

Hello, podcast universe! Welcome to Episode 62 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and I want to welcome you to the podcast today. I have such a treat for you today and I'm so excited to be here and to share these ideas with you.

00:50
I have a really special interview for you today and so this episode is going to be a little bit longer than most of my episodes, but there are so many great things in it that I didn't want you to miss any of it. And so I'm going to give it to you as unedited and uncut as possible because I think it's also valuable for you.

So if you have followed me from the beginning of my podcast days, in one of the very early episodes I talked about my cousin, Danny Deaton, who is just an amazing guy and in his 20s he had some back pain and he got some pain medication. And over time this turned into a full-blown serious drug addiction. He ended up in jail and he almost died because of his addiction.

I've heard him talk about those moments where he kind of stood between life and death and how close he came to not asking for help at that moment and how close he came to losing his life. And if you want to hear more about that miraculous part of the story, he has a video that was published a few years ago where he tells his story and I'm going to link it in my show notes. It is so worth watching if you're interested.

01:56
So anyway, from that moment of escape from death he started to change and he had a long, long road to recovery and it was extremely difficult. And every day and every moment, especially in the beginning, was excruciating. But he was able, a day at a time, to change his life and now he uses that life to bless other people and bless other families that are struggling with addiction. And he started a company that is focused on helping people do the hard things that they need to do in order to get their loved ones to choose treatment to get them into treatment and to seek the help that they need.

And I'm going to put all of his information including the video about his story in the show notes and you can reach out to him for help in this area, if you or one of your loved ones is struggling with addiction.

But the reason that I invited him on the podcast is because Danny was able to change his life in fundamental ways. He was able to change the way he thought about himself, the way he thought about his life, and in doing that he created the life that he loves. Like his enthusiasm and his love for his life is so contagious.

03:08
So on some level every one of us is trying to do just that. Every one of us has a desire to create something different in our life and to love our life. And so I brought Danny on because, in my view, he is an expert at difficult change. Right? And how we do it and I think we can learn so much from him. And while you might I have an addiction that needs to change, you do have beliefs and thoughts that are keeping you from change. And if you listen and apply what he's saying to your own life and the things that you wish were different, I think it can give you some major shifts.

One thing that really stood out for me was the idea he shares that there is nothing so permanent as a temporary solution. There is nothing so permanent as a temporary solution. So, like for so many of us, we are just living our lives in the temporary solution. Right? Like we don't love how we're doing life. We don't love how we're doing things. And we'd really like to change things, but change is hard. And so then we just settle into a temporary solution. We just settle into accepting our life like it is, accepting our relationships like they are, accepting our physical health like it is, our money, our job—we just accept the temporary solution thinking that change is too hard or it's beyond our reach somehow.

And that temporary solution—as miserable as it is—just becomes permanent. We just end up living permanently like that and we just numb our pain and our desires for something different by accepting our temporary solution and then nothing ever changes.

04:45
So there are so many really good nuggets here and I hope that whatever you want to change in your life that this will help you. This is the work that I do with my clients. They were tired of the temporary change and they want real change. And I can help you with that if you're interested. But I give you this interview so that you can see your true power to change absolutely anything you want in your life. And recognizing that believing that you can't change is just not true and is in fact the only thing standing between you and the life you want. Okay, so here we go.

05:19
April: Thank you so much for being on the podcast today I really appreciate it.

Danny Deaton: Oh it's my pleasure. I'm excited.

April: Okay, so on my podcast and with my clients I talk a lot about change and how to get change in your life and so that we can be living the life that we really want. And when we were at Grandpa's funeral, talking to you about your change was just so interesting to me. And I just I came home and I just kept thinking about it and thinking about it. I was like, you know more about change than I think most of the people that I know. And so why don't you just kind of talk about your story and your change and kind of introduce yourself and what you do now and that kind of thing.

06:00
Danny Deaton: Yeah well no I'm glad to be here. That topic is one that pertains to everything in life. But it is I think it's one of the most important aspects of our life is knowing that we have the ability to change—that it is possible. And I think it is something that, especially in the world of recovery, which is what I have the most experience in, it's what keeps people stuck. But I think it rolls over into any aspect of life. Any aspect. Relationships, your weight, your health, your fitness, your spirituality, your intellectual level.

So anyway to answer your question my name's Danny Deaton. My family and I reside in Alpine Utah. To sum it up and, I guess I respect those who are listening and their time, change is what my life has been about. And as cliche as it might sound I was that young man who grew up in afamily that I think most people would dream of. I can truly say with all honesty that my experience with my mom and dad and growing up as a boy was a storytale. I was supported by my two best friends, who loved me, were always there for me, and as imperfect as people are they they raised me perfectly.

But in a nutshell I grew up and I lettered in multiple sports. I graduated. I was an Eagle Scout, piano-playing athlete, who ended up going to college. Graduating. I even served two years volunteering for my church.

With all that said, flashforward—my life later took me to a point where I was in a jumpsuit, behind bars, with multiple felonies, with a drug addiction that just about took my life. To the point where my father and my brother, through divine intervention found me, moments away from death in the bottom of a basement home. And if that isn't a pretty drastic change I don't know what is.

April: Yeah.

07:58
Danny Deaton: I did end up in a point where, I think, it's pretty common and I think the vast majority look at it as an impossible hole to get out of. And, now, 13 years later, after the ultimate low of my life, I am now living a life that even as a young boy—when we're all dreaming I'm going to grow up I'm going to be this—like my life is more beautiful today than I envisioned it as a young boy, when I was dreaming every day and hoping that my life would be beautiful. It's better today than I ever dreamed of so. It's pretty bipolar in my life.

But to say the least that that kind of sums it up hopefully. So there was change both ways. There was change that led me to a really bad place and then change that led me to a place I'd never even dreamed of.

April: Yeah. So one of the things that I hear you talk about a lot and I read on your social media page is this idea of course "change is possible" and that you are the living proof of that—that you can create the change you want. But I think even in simple ways, it feels, change feels sort of elusive to most people. I think even in simple things, like our diet or something like that, let alone addiction. Right? And so. What do you say to your clients and the families that you work with when they feel like they can't change and that it feels sort of hopeless? How what how do you help them change their mindset that change is possible?

09:33
Danny Deaton: It's a great question. I know for a fact that each and every one of us have this struggle in some regard. Even the people who look to be like they're living life with ease and they have all the success, they have it too. It's just how much it hinders our life. And there's something that I read a long time ago and it really resonated with me. But when I read it I had to read it three or four times to actually understand it. And not only then it took a long time to truly comprehend what it meant. And that is: There is no solution as permanent as a temporary solution.

I read it over and over and over and at first it doesn't really make sense. And I finally figured it out. But then I finally learned what it meant in my life. And that is: We find temporary solutions. And nothing can be more permanent than a temporary solution.

April: Yeah, kind of like stop the bleeding. And then you just kind of stay there.

10:39
Danny Deaton: Yes just like you know like, it's a little you're holding on and you've kind of redirected or you've found something that helps for now. And that can be a discomfort or feeling you have, maybe a depression or anxiety or fear or addiction or anything, but there is no solution is permanent as a temporary solution. Real change is difficult and it can seem impossible.

And I refer a lot to addiction because that was the hinge point of my life. But I think it applies in so many aspects of anyone's life. And in the world of recovery, they talk about hitting rock bottom. And I am a firm believer that there is no such thing. That that statement isn't true. And the reason I say that is because for myself and anyone else who has bouts of sobriety or they've worked hard to dig out of that impossible hole, we all know what the ultimate rock bottom is. And it's death.

There's always a door deeper. There's always a bottom deeper. And so for me, it truly boils down to when a person is sick and tired of being sick and tired. They use desire. And maybe that's all it takes to start. Is the desire to live. A desire to live differently. A desire to change. And that desire leads you to do things. Like maybe reach out and listen to what other people are doing, or to try things different or to take that first step, that leap of faith which is doing something you're not comfortable with.

April: Yeah.

12:23
Danny Deaton: So, it is possible. It just seems impossible. And one thing to relate maybe somebody listening might have this experience and if they haven't it might help them understand. I work with families who have someone suffering from a drug or alcohol addiction. I spend 98% of my time working with the family. Talking about their loved one. I'm not even talking to their loved one who's suffering, but the family. Who feels it's impossible to change that loved one. They tried failed attempts. It just seems impossible to get through to that level.

So I'm talking about, I'm talking with people who feel like change is impossible and we're not even talking about them. We're talking about someone they love and care about. And what it takes for them to change their approach just to help their loved one is crazy. So if we're talking about ourselves. Yes it's hard, but it's even hard for people around us. So, I know it's possible because I did it. And for me it got to the point where I hope it doesn't have to get for most people, which was fighting for my life.

Like literally the first steps were fighting to breathe. To be able to walk, to feed myself to not want to die. And it started there. But every step of the journey seemed impossible. When it was just looking in the eyes of people I love or looking in the mirror or even thinking that might be a chance for me to get out of this hole. Every step seemed impossible

April: So good. So let's just talk about the idea about our past. So for a lot of my clients you know I hear a lot like well I've just always been this way. And they kind of we kind of like our past determine like what's possible for us. So how did you let go of your past and the story you had about yourself to create something else?

14:17
Danny Deaton: Instead of just talking about me the whole time, there's an experience I'd love to share in that. Last month I worked with two different clients. And I worked with their families and then I got to know the individuals and their family who were suffering. And in one family, it was a young man. And then another family it was a young woman.

So both families were worried because each of these individuals were self medicating, whether it was prescription drugs or alcohol or all the combination of whatever. I learned something very interesting. And it's something I already knew. But this experience brought a whole new life and a whole new depth of understanding how real it is.

And to sum it up, this young woman who we were working with had been sexually abused by a relative of hers years ago. That caused an intense amount of pain and suffering in her life. Which she only found relief from through substances and alcohol that were introduced to her by other people. However it happened, it gave her relief from that burden, from that pain.

April: Yeah.

15:30
Danny Deaton: Well in a different city, a different area cod,e with another incredible family was worried about their young man—their son and their brother. He wasn't far off in age from this young lady. His abuse, his self medicating was just as bad or worse than this young girl. And when we dig through all the layers of what's going on to find out what's hurting inside, his pain was that he just didn't feel like he got the playbook in life.

I remember we were going for a walk one day and I shared my story with him and he just started screaming and crying. He collapsed to the ground. And he just said, "Everyone else got this manual on how to do life. I didn't get it. He talked about his brothers and how life came so easily for them. About his father who'd had this success. And he's like, "I'm never gonna be like them." That burden that he carried caused him to start self medicating, from that pain.

So when you look at these two stories right as an outsider, I think most of the world would be like, "Okay, this young woman with what happened to her, that's more justifiable and understandable. But the mentality around this young man is, "Oh come on. Knock it off. You're good looking. You're successful. You're athletic. Just knock it off."

What I learned—and it hit me like a building falling on top of me—his burden, his pain, was just as heavy as hers. Now his was he didn't feel like he fit in. Hers was being sexually molested. One seems much more justifiable than the other. But they were exactly the same. And exactly the same in that it hurts so bad and that pain felt so heavy that they used things they would have never imagined using earlier in their life to take it away.

17:22
Now to bring that back full circle to your question is both of them are facing a journey to change. I think that they can become their better selves. Yes. But this is why there's so much struggle because we need the support of everyone around us. We need the support of our family, our spouses, our parents, our loved ones, our friends, our neighbors. But so often we categorize, "Oh I see. You had a really big problem in your past, so let's all rally around and support you." Where other people have pain and suffering and where they don't think they can change or become better. But it's kind of like, "Oh come on. Knock it off.

So I think we all have to remember. For those people that we love, and for ourselves, whatever it is that we feel inside, it doesn't matter. It's recognizing that it does hurt, that it is real. And I hope that makes sense.

But to answer the question from my own personal self is: It took time. I never in my life growing up—12, 13, 15, 17 years old imagined having felony charges on my record. Sleeping in a jail cell. Weighing 98 pounds with every vein in my body turned black and being a junkie. That never, ever entered my mind. I would have thought that I would have been the third or fourth person to land on the moon before I thought that would have happened.

So when you say, "Did my pass define me and was it hard to let go?" Of course. Yeah. But it doesn't happen overnight. It all starts with those small steps forward. And those small steps lead, they lead to progress. So, it was hard. I have to admit. I mean it really started with just having a slight belief that there was a possibility.

19:13
To muster up the strength to even look in the mirror. I remember the first time I looked in the mirror and actually like you know sometimes you can look at something scary and you kind of look out of the corner your eye. That's what I was looking at myself. I remember the first time I looked in the mirror and saw myself. It was a monumental experience and then actually allowing myself to care or hope.

And then ultimately for me, to be completely honest because I just have to be, it was coming to believe again, because for me it was again, but coming to believe again in a power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity.

In the world of recovery from drugs and alcohol. There is a Big Book written by Dr. Bob and Bill W. (it's scripture to me) but they talk about the importance of coming to believe in a power greater than yourself. And if you do not do it they say, "Our hats are off to you." Meaning, good luck. Because without that belief it's virtually impossible...

April: To rewrite the story of your past.

20:10
Danny Deaton: To rewrite the story. I mean you're going to be white knuckling it and holding on for dear life. It requires a lot of action but it also requires a belief in something that will help you. That will that will help you along the way. And sometimes for people in the beginning it might be others in their life or whatever you feel comfortable with believing in. It's just important to believe in something more than you. So that's what started with baby steps for me.

April: Okay, so good. Thank you. Another thing I think that I see a lot is people are scared to commit to changing because they're afraid they're going to disappoint themselves or others. Like how many times have we tried to change and then we just end up like disappointing ourselves. So how did you overcome that fear? Or how do you help others overcome the fear of like possibly messing up again?

21:08
Danny Deaton: Well. I think one of the best things that applies to this question because when I look back, to be honest, people always say, "Well, what was it for you? What was the reason that you started using drugs or alcohol?" Because eventually you get to a point, you come to understand that drugs, alcohol, whatever, food, gambling, pornography—those are not the problem. Those are just a cover. So when people are like, "What was your problem? What was it for you?" For me it was exactly this.

It took a lot of professional help and care for me to figure out what was hurting inside that I wanted to go away. And it was exactly that. I did have a father who became successful. Multiple people my family, my relatives, that had success in their life. But I kind of felt like that young man I shared the story. It took a therapist about two years to help me understand that I only had once one fear in life. And it was disappointing others. That's what fueled my addiction.

And I didn't even understand. I had no idea. I wasn't capable at that point in my life of understanding what was hurting and what felt so uncomfortable and unbearable. But when I found relief from it. I welcomed it. I loved it. It was on demand I had it anytime I want. You know. And believe it or not, people don't want to hear this, but the reality is drugs and alcohol are amazing. They feel really good. That's the reason why millions of millions of people are ruining their careers.

22:37
But the problem is, you get a twofer. You get a two for one. It's like you get something that makes you feel good but at the same time, it's hurting you, adding layers of shame and guilt and pain. But it's covering it all up. So while it's piling up, you start, in conjunction, you start using more and adding different things to offset that pain. So really it's it's the most conniving, terrible—back to my point—temporary solution.

And then it's only making the pain grow. And there's really no solution is permanent a temporary solution and that temporary solution almost killed me. That temporary solution is what holds people back from becoming their best selves.

April: Yeah totally.

23:22
Danny Deaton: So, I have learned that the key to life, for me and many other people who suffer from this, and I think it applies to depression, addictions whatever, and it's: It is our secrets that keep us sick. I have that written that, I was close to tattooing that on my arm, but I've written that in many places in my home and I read it about four or five times before I even walk out the door every day: It's our secrets that keep us sick.

Those secrets can be your fears. They can be your insecurities. Those secrets can be things that you're doing that you shouldn't. Those secrets can be your feelings of being inadequate. But whatever we hold inside and harbor as a secret is destructive. It's paralyzing. And it doesn't allow anyone else around us to help.

April: Yeah. So I'm going to just like insert something here. I think for so many of my clients and you call it secrets, I call it "shame for my clients. And that shame about who they are and what they really think and what they really feel, like really prevents them from looking at their thoughts and getting the change that they want. And in that way their shame is keeping them the same.

24:50
Danny Deaton: Hundred percent Yeah, so I again, I refer a lot to addiction because that's just what I know. They're so similar. All this is the same. Not just with my struggle. But I call them the four lies. What are the four lies that keep us sick? Fear, victim, hope, and shame.

April: Okay.

25:11
Danny Deaton: So whenever I feel like I'm stuck or when I'm working with families that are trying to help their loved one I always say, "Hey let's look where we stuck. Like which of these four lies is keeping us stuck?" You know in the world of recovery, fear is like, for example, you're fearful what can happen, or the parents are fearful that if they approach their spouse or their child that might be the last they see of them, or they're gonna make it worse.

April: Yeah, do it wrong in some way.

25:45
Danny Deaton: Yes. Then there's the victim. Right? Like that, you know, they've just had a harder life than their siblings or you know this happened to them. The victim's stance can hold people in that holding pattern for ever. Even people that are just trying to change, they feel fell victim of something that happened. Most of us do and some of the some people have things that happen way worse to us than other people. But when you hold that victim card you're stuck.

Hope. They just hope this is magically going to go away. Every family I worked with at some point in the journey with their loved one, just sat back and hoped. They just hope that if they prayed hard enough or Dad gave you enough lectures in his chair in the office that you just kind of finally get through to you. They just hope that one day this will go away. Now if it's trying to change your life or overcoming a drug addiction same thing. If you just hope for it without action nothing will change.

April: Yeah.

26:43
Danny Deaton: Obviously last, it's the guilt or shame and they're so alike for me in recovery. But I mean shame obviously goes to a whole new level. But it's the ultimate manipulator. I feel so strongly in my life. I won't speak for anyone else, but it's the opposition. And I believe in opposition too now. There's a power of good and the power of evil. When I see the opposition, it's the power of evil's greatest tool. To hold us back from any improvement in our life. And your improvement might be that you're 10 pounds overweight. Your improvement might be that you're socially scared. My improvement that I was a junkie.

And it doesn't matter because it's like those that young boy and that young girl I talked about—whatever it is that hurts, the opposition uses shame to hold you back from ever taking that first step forward. He holds you back from even believing it's possible.

April: Yeah. Totally. Totally. So I just want to go back and just like build on something you said. Like when you talk about hope. It's so interesting to me because hope sounds like such a lovely thing. It sounds like this lovely emotion. Like we all want more hope in our lives, right? But you're right in that, like it keeps us from changing when we just wish or think that someday it's going to happen and we just hope it will. It removes the responsibility from us in the moment and we're just putting all the responsibility on some outside force to make that change in our life.

28:24
Danny Deaton: Yeah. It's like if you Google the word it's like whatever Pinterest pulls up or whatever, it has a flower next to it. But in reality it should have a freaking hammer. It should have like in a fist bump or should have a treadmill.

April: Oh my gosh it's so good.

28:41
Danny Deaton: We that we associate that word with flowers or rainbows or both but in reality there's nothing about it that's rainbows and sunshine. Like hope is really like, "Oh here's a hammer. Here's a pair running shoes. Here's something hard." We don't see it that way.

April: Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so good. Okay, let's just talk really quick about negative emotion itself. And like we're all in some way medicating from negative emotion. In my work we call it buffering, right? And everybody has a buffer. So it's food, it's social media, it's Netflix it's cupcakes. It's something, right? And for some people it's heroin. And I kind of just lump all the buffers in together because I know that one isn't worse than the other. Maybe it has more net-negative consequences in your life. But the root of it is we're all just trying to feel better. So I know now even though you're like, "My life is amazing," you still have negative moments. How do you deal with the negative emotion in your life now?

29:51
Danny Deaton: And to answer that question honestly it might be one of the gifts that I got from having my life become so difficult. And I talk about it but some of my best friends I grew up with died from the same thing I was doing. I've had people, I've seen people die. I've. Been right there and seen it. It's a very serious thing but coming from that point to hear it literally cemented what it takes to overcome negative emotion.

I actually feel like because of how bad it got, it blessed me to deal with the times when I'm off track a little bit. Or yeah I do kind of feel depressed for a few days or I feel unmotivated or uninspired. Or I call it stinking thinking. You know, if I'm thinking stinking thoughts or something. But I had to put into place practices every day to get out of that hole that have helped me. So whenever I'm off track a little bit, I'm not scared of that change anymore because I know what I've been able to overcome.

And I also know most importantly, I think one of the hardest things for people to understand when they have a drug or alcohol addiction is that they can never be like normal people, right? Like I know for a lot of people in the world it's like overcoming being an alcoholic is the hardest thing because there are people who can do it. There are people who can drink at sporting events or graduations or at a concert or something. And then they get back to life. Right?

There's people who can have a surgery and get a bottle of prescription pain pills and not even finish it. I wasn't one of those people. Now mine's polarizing right? There's a spot like "Drugs and Alcohol." Well there's also people who binge watch Netflix too much every night. Or can't get out of bed, or can't face their fears. Now obviously there's a different consequence for each other, right? But how stuck does it keep you? I know that's terrible grammar, How long do you stay stuck because of that outlet because of that temporary solution?

32:09
And I'm just grateful because it was so hard to overcome what I did, that I know I don't have any time to waste. I lost a lot of time. I had to regain so much that I've lost in my life. And I have a new-found appreciation for life and each day that I have, that I won't allow myself to lose time for longer than necessary.

Of course I'm human and after a few days if I'm feeling down or depressed I've learned the best secret from me, and I guess to give somebody substance from my own experience, it's again those secrets. As a man I hate it, the worst thing, it's been the hardest thing in my life to sit my wife down or call my mom or call my sponsor I've loved for 13 years or a therapist and be like, "You know what, this is how I'm feeling today." I'll punch myself in the face before I ever want to do that. So every time I still do it, it's scary. I know the second that I do it, it's like the elephant in the room.

So the second that I tell another person I love or respect or care about, half of that elephant disappears. Right then and there. And I hold myself accountable. I said it out loud so I'm recognizing it for myself and my subconscious can't just sit and toy with me. And I do something about it. So just telling someone else, "This is how I feel." And most of the time it's scary, but they're just like, "Okay, well no big deal." Yeah it's just so liberating for me to be able to just voice that.

April: Yeah totally. There's so much power in that. And just to kind of relate it to the work I do, I really encourage my clients and I do this every day where I just do a thought download which is I just get all my thoughts, ugly or not, and I get them on paper and it's kind of that same idea that you're talking about. Instead of letting them rattle around in my brain and want to hide from them or be ashamed of them I just look at them I'm like, "Oh that's what I'm thinking." Right? And then I can just decide to think something else and move on. It's just so helpful to like coice it in some way, to write it down or say it or whatever. Right? Instead of, like you said, keeping it a secret and a lot of times I think we're just keeping it a secret from ourselves.

34:20
Danny Deaton: From yourself. It's a very obvious thing and you can even partially acknowledge it but not face it. And see for you, it's beautiful because you put it down and you see it in writing. It's almost like telling on yourself to yourself In writing. But whatever it is for people to do. Like for me it's actually verbalizing it to someone else because that's scary, right? If someone's like, "Planes going down. We've got five parachutes." Like I'll just give mine to somebody and jump and hope that I figure it out on the way down and that doesn't scare me.

But, if I have to sit in a room and tell somebody that I'm not feeling very good today: I feel sad. That is insane. That is the scariest moment. So whatever it is that helps people be accountable to themselves, you do it. And maybe that's what hope is—it's doing it.

April: Yeah. Oh my gosh you're so awesome. Okay, so I kind of want to end by talking about your practice of the three G's. So I saw this on Instagram and I thought it was like so brilliant. So I thought maybe I'd have you talk about that. And then just talk about how people can work with you and the things that you do.

35:31
Danny Deaton: Well, the three G's it's I can't remember who taught it to me but it was awesome. And that is. It's Good, Great, and Goal. Okay, and basically it's something that is something good that happened today. Or in the last 24 hours. Something you're grateful for. And a goal. I practice it every day. Sometimes they're simple things. Sometimes they're bigger. I've taught my kids and it can be anything that's either meaningless or is very deep rooted. It's really redirecting your thoughts.

So something that's good is the weather here right now. The weather is beautiful, everything is green and the flowers are. Every day the birds are chirping and out here we live through six months of winter so to hear that is very good. Something I'm grateful for is my health. I have osteoarthritis in most of my body and I can't take anything for the pain because I don't dare to mess with flirting with fire. So I'm grateful that I have learned to utilize my diet and exercise to make sure my body can feel the best it can and I'm grateful to do it in a happy way.

And a goal for me right now. I just made it this morning with two other people the gym I work out with to do three hundred flights of stairs on the stairmaster in under an hour without touching the handrails. That's my new goal. But those three Gs are something and my wife, she's adapted it and we do it all the time and it's simple. I love it.

37:10
What I've learned is it just redirects my thoughts. I was diagnosed with everything when I was younger have ADHD, OCD—name it, I had it. I obsess about thoughts a lot. I get obsessed on certain things. I have to constantly just redirect my thoughts and that really helps. And it's simple. So whatever happened earlier today with that person I ran into was so good and I'm so grateful for this. And you know my goal for today is this. It's quick. It's easy and it helps me.

April: It's like an immediate shift in your thgouths and your mood. That's awesome. Okay, Danny you are amazing and I know you're doing amazing work with the families you work with and the clients that you have. So tell my listeners a little bit about that and how they get in touch with you. Do they need to be Utah? Tell me all the stuff.

38:05
Danny Deaton: No I mean, really it boils down to this. Like people ask me, "Why did you decide to do this?" I spent the last 10 years in the restaurant world owning and operating some restaurants, which is the only thing harder than overcoming a heroin addiction

But. I switched gears for the simple fact I couldn't stand by and see one more family get annihilated by a disease that started in one family member and then slowly killed everyone else in the process. And I really hate the ugly truth that at best nationwide— this blows people's minds but it's true wherever you look it up—at best 10% of people nationwide with addictions ever get any type of treatment.

And really I ask people to prove me wrong, but I can't think of another illness that kills more people whose families argue more about how it should be treated or if it should be treated.

April: It's really true.

39:01
Danny Deaton: Yeah I mean other illnesses that we have don't get, "Shouldn't they just be able to knock it off?" Well addiction is the only fatal illness where families more frequently ignore signs, make excuses, hide from, or simply fail to unite and take action, than any other thing I can think of. And if you think about it, addiction is the only fatal illness where the person sick fights tooth and nail to stay sick. it's unbelievable.

So. I have actually taken the last year working with several people but I've spent thousands of hours putting together these online courses. I never found anything like it. They're directed to the families to the people who love someone who's suffering, that helps them understand how to get out of their own way. And I'm about 30 days from releasing those.

However there's lots of times where people just need someone in their corner, someone to talk to, someone to just put their thoughts together with, and who better than someone who's been in those shoes and knows what it takes.

40:04
Nothing that I do or I teach or help people with is any of my own simple philosophies. They're proven ways that have worked for lots of people. But they're just—hearing it from someone who's been there is pretty powerful. So the company's called, Your Living Proof Recovery Services but on Instagram it's all one word it's @yourlivingproof. And then my website the same: it's www.yourliving proof.com.

And there's a lot of different resources, I offer to help people. It's one of those. Industries and areas of life that it's not so cookie cutter. You can't be like, "What would you like? Option one, two, or three?" Everybody's situation is different and they're different. So they can always reach out to me and message me and we can explain how it gets started.

But I'm just hoping that one of the darkest things I've ever witnessed in a human being's life that happened to me, and I won't get into it, because it still makes me emotional, but I just hope it can be a gift to some other people. If anything just to kind of redirect them or help confirm what they think or what they're doing. Or maybe have a different perspective on how to approach this because I've been doing this for a few years now.

41:20
And I came home the other day to my wife crying and she's like, "What's wrong?" And. I said, "I drive up and down these roads now. And I wonder, 'Is there any perfect little front door with a wreath on it that doesn't have someone suffering behind it?'"

I spent the first year doing this several years ago I didn't even leave my area code. So it's something that affects a lot of us. And it's more than any of us recognize because most people are suffering it's still a secret. And even those that love them that know it's a secret to them. I'm hoping to change that.

April: Yeah. Oh I just hope you know how much I love and admire you. I think it's amazing that when we take the work that transformed us and then we can go and bless other people. And I know so many people are blessed by your work and blessed by your own journey, your suffering.

42:18
You probably don't know this but really, really early on in my podcast journey, you had just published your video—that little seven to eight minute video and I'll link it and my show notes—I watched that and I had this thought and I shared it with my audience then that like sometimes we argue with our past and we say it shouldn't happen that way. But I believe that everything happens because, like it's supposed to, and we can stop arguing with that.

And that you are able to like create so much good from this very dark thing in your life and that in fact it needed to happen that way for you to learn the lessons that you have learned and then you get to be able to help the people that you're helping.

43:00
Danny Deaton: I believe it too. And it took a long time for me to be able to recognize that and to me it's God's sense of humor and I've loved to witness that in my life. And so many people that I've got to know and help over the last few years. I laugh because I'm like that would have never been a part of my life and it's been the most beautiful experience, humbling to even be part of with them and to witness it. I mean it fuels me.

It's not the greatest living in the world. But I'm telling you it fuels me to be part of that. And I'm like, "I would have never been in your living room or on the side of the road with you talking had I not been where I was." So I look back and something that ugly, you know my higher power, God, turned it into something beautiful and has a humorous look at all the people you're helping because of it.

April: Well you're awesome. I'm going to put your information in the show notes so people can get in contact with you and get help. So thank you for your time and I know you're a busy guy. I really appreciate it. You're awesome.

44:08
Isn't he awesome? What I hope you'll see is that you can change anything you want in life. Whatever that is or wherever you are right now, the life you want is absolutely available to you. And that my friends is 100 percent awesome. I love you for listening and I'll see you next week!