We’re more than halfway through the year! Whew! Maybe you have seen some progress towards some of your goals and dreams, while other goals have taken a backseat or been abandoned altogether.
In this episode of the podcast, I want to do a little mid-year evaluation and check in with you about the results you really want to create in your life. I talk about why it can be hard to stay on track, and how to overcome these obstacles so that we can consistently create more of the outcomes we want in our lives. Here are five ideas to help you get from where you are now to where you want to be and keep going after your dreams rather than quitting.
No matter what your current circumstances are, these tools will motivate and encourage and empower you to keep going after what you really want.
I wanted to give you a few more thoughts to help you get from where you are now to where you want to be and give you some keys to keep going rather than quitting
And so we have this little tension inside ourselves. Future self needs present self to act. But present self doesn’t have the right perspective.
1. Put present self to work. Leave evaluating the effectiveness to the future.
There is an inherent tension between our present self and our future self. Our future self wants things, but our future self is 100% dependent on our present self to create these things, one step at time.
Future self can’t create anything. The only part of us that has the power to create anything is our present self. But the problem is that present self doesn’t have the perspective of future self. So put present you in charge of the actions. All the behavior goals. That’s it’s job. Not to know if it’s working, but to work.
Future you can see if you are on track to reach your yearly goal and you can have a board meeting and discuss new behavior goals if you want, but day to day, present you doesn‘t get a say in whether or not we do the behavior or whether or not the behaviors are working Okay, the next idea I have for you is the idea that it should be hard. Going after our goals, become a new person, creating a new life requires effort and when it’s hard it means that you’re doing it right.
2. It should be hard.
Going after our goals, become a new person, creating a new life requires effort and when it’s hard it means that you’re doing it right. If I want to grow I need to be extremely uncomfortable. It can be awful and it’s supposed to be.
And this doesn’t mean that we hate it along the way. We don’t hate that it’s awful. It’s not negative that it’s awful. It’s awful and it’s awesome. That means whatever goals we have, we can work toward them, it can take enormous effort and strain, it can take all that we’ve got every single day, and we can love doing it. We can love the hurt.
So I am hoping that that thought will help you. Not too see the world more negatively, but to stop resisting the parts that are supposed to tax you and grow you and be challenging. To allow for the discomfort and get to work anyway because you want the growth.
3. Don’t make your goals mean so much.
You may be putting way much pressure on the accomplishment of the goal because of what it will mean about you when you do it. And this pressure is the result of believing that achieving our goals will somehow make us whole and complete and that we will matter somehow or matter enough.
You already matter. Nothing you do or don’t do will ever make you matter more or make your life matter more. You cannot ever matter more than you do right now. Just by being born, just by existing as you are.
It is never better there than here. You are never pursuing your goal to become something or to matter in some way. You are just going after your goal because you want to, which takes so much pressure off. You are just going after your goal because you can, which makes it fun.
4. Things will go wrong.
And not only is it okay when things go wrong, but the way things go wrong is the way you get there.
One of my coaches, Jody Moore calls this going downstream. That instead of swimming upstream and thinking that you are supposed to be somewhere else in the river, accept that you are supposed to be exactly where you are and use what is now available to you. In other words, when setbacks happen you are already downstream of them.
Instead of trying to claw your way back to wherever you’re supposed to be, accept where you are and use everything downstream of you to create what you want anyway. This means that our goals can stay the same, but we can be loose about the way we get there. If you believe in the inevitability of the goal, the way you get there loses its importance. Allow for the setback, allow for the obstacles. Cling to the inevitability of the goal no matter what.
5. You don’t have to do it on your own.
When we go from here to there, and set out to accomplish things, we are asking ourselves to become new versions of ourselves. Which is awesome. Except that the old version of us fights tooth and nail to stay. Our brain doesn’t want to give up the status quo and the way we’ve done things and it doesn’t love change. And it fights for things to stay the same.
Which is why I think coaching is so valuable. My coaches show me where it’s just my old self (my old brain and its fears and insecurities) fighting for my current limitations and they challenge me to think and act differently. Which has allowed me to achieve things I never thought were possible.
You can get what you want. You really can. You go can go from here to there. And of course, you can do it on your own. But I think you can do it faster and easier and more successfully with a coach by your side.