Episode 71: Go Do The Thing

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price. You might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thoughts you think, and that my friends is 100% awesome.

Hello podcast universe! Welcome to episode seventy-one of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price, and I hope you had a really nice Labor Day. We spent some time in our pool, we barbequed, David watched football, it was a good day. And now, probably no matter where you live in the country your children have gone back to school, whatever that means for you, right? Whatever that looks like where you live, whether it's online, or in-person, or some strange hybrid version of it. And I used to think about this time of year as a whole new beginning, right? Almost like another New Years, and once I got my kids back in school I would set some new goals for myself, and get determined to accomplish some things, and really get my life together once and for all. And I don't really feel like that this year. Maybe 2020 is more about survival than anything else, right? In so many ways, I don't think I need more challenge than already exists in my life currently. I'm up leveling and growing, just by pressing forward in regular life.

And I'm not really sure where you are right now, how you are feeling about things? Do you feel like you're starting over and this is a new beginning? Or are we just hanging on, right? However, you are feeling, I want to offer you the thought that you are doing it all exactly right. Did you know that? Maybe not, right? Because for sure your own brain isn't telling you that it thinks that you're doing it all wrong, but it is completely misinformed. You are doing it all exactly right, and you are fulfilling your purpose, and your potential just by experiencing your life exactly as it is. I had a client say to me recently that she had so much regret about her loss potential, and I told her that there was no such thing, you can't ever lose your potential.

First of all, potential is just a thought. We had an idea that our life was going to go one way, and for the most part we are usually 100% wrong about that. And when things go differently than we thought that it was going to go we make that mean that we missed something, or we lost or squandered our potential. But all you missed was your expectation, and your expectation was just a made up idea you had of a life that you thought would be better. But you with your limited human knowledge cannot possibly know what would be better. There is only one person who knows what would be better, and he has designed your life exactly as it is with the lessons that only your life designed in this way could give you. Hey it's kind of like saying like, 20 20 had so much potential.

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2020, believe it or not, is exactly what it should be. It was always going to be this way. We just didn't know it, right? And it was always going to be this way so that we can learn and grow in the exact ways we needed to while we were here on Earth sharing the planet in 2020. We had a completely different expectation of what that would be but that does not mean that anything has gone wrong or any potential has been lost. Everything is as it was always going to be. This year is better, better than we thought it would be for us. It's kind of crazy to think about, right? Anyway all that to say, you are doing great. You don't have to be more, or do more to fulfill your purpose, or reach your potential. Yes as a child of God you were entitled to grow in any way you want, but it won't ever make you better, or allow you to finally reach some level of acceptability, and potential. You are already there. You are 100% acceptable as you are. You fulfill your potential by being alive right now, as you are, living the life you are living, in no matter what you do or don't do, you can't ever be a better human. And I know that I've said that to you before, but it's so easy for us to forget, that I thought I should remind you.

Okay so, on the podcast today I wanted to talk about an idea that I've been thinking about for a few weeks, and that is doing "the thing," right? Doing the thing that you want to do, but that you're scared to do. And I don't really know how else to say it, right? David asked me, "What's the podcast on this week?" And I'm like, "Doing the thing!" And he just looked at me like, what? So, I want you to go and do the thing. The thing that is always in the back of your mind. That thing that you dream about. The thing that is always back there quietly nudging you along, asking to be done, asking to be made real, asking to turn from an idea into a reality. And it just needs you in order to do that. We all have dreams, we all gifts, and talents, and things that we would like to try, before we leave the planet. But we don't do them because we're scared, and we think that that fear means that we're not ready, or that it's a bad idea, or that fear is a bad feeling, and maybe it's God trying to tell us not to do it, and that it's dangerous somehow.

I want to tell you right off the bat that I think that we've got that backwards. That in fact, I think the gentle nudging that doesn't ever go away is from God. That those thoughts are often his little pushes to get us to stretch ourselves, and the fear, and the anxiety in the part that says "stop" is just your brain. Your natural man, the human part of you that is born scared to leave the cave. And the adversary, by the way, is really good at exploiting that part of us. So, I was talking to a client just a couple of days ago, and we were talking about negative emotion and she said, "You know when I learned about the model, that my thoughts create my feelings, I thought oh my gosh this is gonna be so awesome. I can feel better, more of the time." And she said, "I just want to get to a place where it's like 90/10 and I only feel bad like 10% of the time." And frankly, I told her, "I don't even know if that's possible, because as humans we don't have the power to undo the fall. We can't change the foundations upon which this world was formed. Our brain no matter what is going to find things to feel bad about."

But I did tell her that when I found coaching, for a while, it did feel like I moved kind of to like 80/20, right? Where I was like 80% positive, and I stay there for a little while until I started setting some goals. And as soon as you start setting some goals to do that thing, and asking your brain to leave its comfort zone, and be vulnerable, and put work out into the world, and contribute in new ways that could get rejected, or misinterpreted. Then pretty soon you're going to find yourself right back at 50/50. As I've heard Brooke Castillo say countless times, "If you aren't feeling 50/50 then your goals aren't big enough. You're just not risking enough." And so, today I want to give you some guiding principles to get into action and to do that thing that thing that you want to do. These are the thoughts that I want you to remember when you go to do the thing, and your brain is screaming at you to stop, or quit, or go back.

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Okay so, the first thing I want to tell you is to move towards the discomfort. And I know that we've talked about this before, but this really is the key to all of it. Your dreams, that thing you want to do, is only found by moving towards the discomfort. Now, generally as humans we are programmed for comfort since our earliest days our brain has used comfort, and pleasure, and positive emotion to ensure our survival. Our brain encourages us to stay at the right temperature, to be full, to have sex, to eat sugar. All of these things feel good, and keep us alive, and perpetuate the species. But when we have a goal, or we want to do something in the world, then it's no longer about just surviving, and staying alive. It's now about thriving, it's about growing, it's about stretching. And in this case when we want to thrive, and grow, we have to move toward pain, instead of comfort.

Any time you're going through any type of pain, the brain's natural response is to turn away from it. That is the natural programming that is built into our brains. And this programming causes the brain to offer us thoughts that produce negative emotion in order to get us to stop, and to move to safety, and conserve our energy. So, what does this look like in real life? It looks like a shocking amount of discomfort, and even pain when we go to do the thing in the world. Our brain often offers us fear, anxiety, vulnerability, shame, all kinds of negative emotion, and we think it's because there's something wrong with us. But it's just the natural result of our brains programming showing up right on time to keep us safe, and conserve our energy. In other words, we are going to encounter resistance from our brain, not because there is actual danger, or not because there's something wrong with us, but just because the brain thinks there is. So a good rule of thumb is that if you feel uncomfortable, you're right on track. It doesn't mean that anything's gone wrong, it doesn't mean stop, it actually means keep going. You want to move towards the pain as much as possible.

So, there is an awesome book out there called, "Principles" by Ray Dalio, and in it he talks about how pain is the goal. That when we see pain as the goal we start to be able to do amazing things. And Ray Dalio talks about this powerful idea of "degrees of consequence." So, every action we take has a consequence, and in fact there are degrees of consequence. So, a first order consequence is the most immediate, things that happens to us after we take action. And most of the time we are making decisions about our actions, based on that first order of consequence. But Dalio says, we need to think about the second, and third order consequences. And for the most part, almost without exception, when something has a painful first order of consequence, the second, and third order, and fourth order consequences are going to give you so many benefits.

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So, let me give you a little example of this. If we take exercise for example, we often don't take action because the first order of consequence is painful, right? It's going to hurt a little bit. You're gonna be sweaty, you're gonna be uncomfortable, you might be tired, right? But then, notice what are the second order consequences of working out after you get through that painful part. You're going to feel amazing, your body gets rushed with endorphins, you feel positive about your body, and yourself, and what you can do. You have energy, right? And the consequences continue to get better. The third order consequences you have less risk for long term health problems, or disease, there are anti aging effects to exercise. Forethought of consequences means that you're going to show up better in all the aspects of your life, your relationships, and your business, right? But the pain of the first order consequence is what most people avoid.

So, if you can really recognize why you're avoiding something, which is almost always because of a first order consequence, then you can start to take action anyway. And you can always see that almost conversely every single time the second, and third order consequences, will be better, and it will be more worth it in the long run. And usually, to tell you the truth, we don't even realize that we're avoiding things because of the pain, because of those first order consequences. So if you find yourself not taking action, because of the first order consequence, start thinking of the second, and third order consequences, so that you can start doing the things that are hard. The things that are painful, but which will be to your benefit long term. So, like if we apply this to doing "the thing," right? The thing that you want to do, for the most part the first order consequence is going to be painful. It's going to require you to be brave. You are going to feel insecure, and unqualified, and scared, and overwhelmed. Maybe you're going to feel confused, and ashamed, and discouraged, right? Like all the things, right?

When I first started coaching the part of me that wanted to do the thing could not have been more excited, but my brain didn't want to do the thing. My brain wanted me not to put myself at risk. It wanted me to conserve energy and not do this thing. And so every morning it offered me terror, and dread, and shame, and self-doubt, and told me that we should just give up, that we had no business doing this. And more importantly we didn't even need to do it. So, that's the thing about doing "the thing," right? You don't need to do it. None of us need to do the thing, right? And your brain knows it. Your brain knows that you could do things that are easier. It knows that you could just stay the same, it knows that you don't need to exercise, or build your business, or write your screenplay, or coach your clients, or go on a mission, or run an ultra-marathon, or apply for the job, or write your book, right? None of that is necessary to your survival.

You could have a nice, quiet, ordinary life without any of it. And so, the brain protests we don't ever need to do the thing, and to ensure that you don't ever do the thing your brain offers you all kinds of thoughts that produce negative emotions, just like my brain did, self-doubt, terror, right? Whatever it takes. I have one client who every time I challenge her brain to do the next thing, she says, "I need to go throw up!" And she is doing amazing things in her life, and she's feeling nauseous about it a lot. But this doesn't mean she should stop, because think about if nausea, and fear, are just the first order consequence, what is the second? What is the third? That's where the payoff is. She is creating such a huge impact right now, and she is changing the life of her clients, who are changing the life of their clients. It's like second, and third, and fourth order consequences that feel incredible. Just notice how it is always a converse relationship. If the first order consequence is painful, the second, and third, and fourth orders are usually pretty amazing. And if the first order consequence is comfortable, the second, and third, and fourth, are often not that amazing, and can even be negative in our life. I have found that the best things come from doing something that you were scared to do, but you did anyway. I ignored the first order consequence, and I went forward anyway. Go forward towards the pain, towards the discomfort, towards the fear, and good stuff will happen.

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Okay so, once we establish that it's supposed to be painful when you go to do new things, the next thing to remember when it comes to doing "the thing" is to start now. Just start right now. As Brooke Castillo says, "If I don't go for it, I will just keep reiterating the possibility of my current life." And this is what most of us do, we want something different, we want to create something different, and do the thing, but instead we keep just carrying out the decisions of the past over, and over, and over again. We just keep as Brooke says, "Reiterating the possibility of our current life." And to create a different possibility we have to start doing something differently now, because the first order consequence is painful. Most of us put off starting, we think that it will be easier or better later. We think we will have more money, or more time, or more confidence, or more qualification later. We think that something has to happen outside of us in order for us to feel better inside of us, and that that needs to happen outside of us before we can feel comfortable to begin.

But we're wrong about that. We just need to start, because the start requires pain, and that's not a step that you can avoid or mitigate by waiting. Waiting to feel better is just keeping you from doing the thing, and waiting will not eliminate the first order consequence. Because remember you aren't ever going to feel comfortable in the first order of consequence, because you have a brain, and also nothing outside of us ever creates our feelings your feelings whatever they are. Anxiety, overwhelm, fear, self-doubt, those feelings are always created by your own brain, and we sort of forget that. We think that if things were different outside of us, our time, our money, the market, getting the perfect idea, having the right contacts, earning the perfect degree, that would make all of this easier, and the painful first order consequence wouldn't be there, that it wouldn't be as painful.

Like when I was in coach training, I just wanted so badly to get certified. When you get certified they give you this little logo that you get to put on the bottom of your website to signify that you have been certified by the Life Coach School, and you're like officially ready to coach, right? And I wanted that logo so badly, right? I kept thinking that if I could get that logo on my website, then I would feel legitimate, then I would feel comfortable being here today. And I still remember certifying, and getting the logo, and putting it on my website like the very first day, right? And getting it on there, and like scrolling down, and realizing that I felt exactly the same way. I was like wait a minute. Changing something outside of me did not change my feelings, right? Because oh yeah our feelings are always created by our thoughts. Your feelings of fear, or inadequacy are created by your thoughts that you could fail, or that you aren't good enough. Your feelings of self-doubt are only created by your thoughts that you're not doing it right, and that you aren't good enough at your craft, and knowing this can help you identify the real problem which is your thoughts about yourself.

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So, the first thing I want to say about all of this is that you can just feel bad as you move toward pain, and you experience the first order of consequences. You can just feel your feelings fear, and self-doubt, and insecurity, those are just vibrations in your body. No negative emotion, like even terror, can actually hurt you, your body was made to process emotion.

Second the more work you do on your own beliefs in really choosing on purpose the thoughts you decide to believe about yourself, the better you can feel if you want to feel confident. You have to think thoughts and believe thoughts that will create confidence inside of you, and not wait for that feeling to arrive, or magically descend upon you. Believing in yourself, and your work is your number one job. And it is also a decision, it's not a gift from the universe bestowed on the lucky, or the talented, or the qualified, or the confident. All of those people have brains too. All of those people have brains telling them that they're not enough, and they'll never make it. And who are they kidding, the difference is that they have decided to believe in themselves regardless of what their brain is telling them.

And I know you think that not believing in yourself is like a personal problem, right? Like other people don't have this problem but you do because of your particular life situation. But I want you to know that it is the human condition to doubt our abilities, and to doubt our worth. That is kind of the default setting of human life, and we counteract that by deciding to believe in ourselves anyway. So, my coach, Simone Grace Seol says it this way, she wrote, "I hear so many people say, but why can't I just believe in myself? And fondle that question on and on and on. But here's the truth. Not believing in yourself is not interesting. It is not really worth analyzing, or dissecting, or digging into the depths of your childhood trauma for. It is not a permanent, or intractable condition of your being worthy of endless existential rumination. It is simply every human brains default factory setting. Of course, you don't believe in yourself. It doesn't take any effort or imagination to not believe in yourself. It's the easiest fallback option. The work that we do to grow, and to become who we really want to be is to stake more in your imagination, than in the factory setting."

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Now I love this, right? Not believing in yourself isn't unique to you, and your life. It is the factory setting, as Simone says, of every human being. It is the easiest fallback option. Your brain is going to offer it to you every time because it's the factory setting. And every time you go to do something new, that's what it's going to give you. But you have the power to use your brain, and your imagination to believe something else. And here's why you need to. I want you to think about the model for just a minute. The model says that our thoughts create our feelings, and then our feelings drive, and fuel our actions, and those actions add up to give us our results. So, I want you to think about the thing that you want to create in the world, the thing that you want to do. That thing you want to do is the result. The coaching business, or the ultra-marathon, or the new business, or the book, or the screenplay, or the painting, or the relationship, like whatever it is that you want to do in the world, that is the result. And to get it we're going to have to take action, but our actions are always fueled by feelings. And if our feelings are only insecurity, and self-doubt, and overwhelm, then we don't have a lot of positive action from those emotions. Usually in fact, we take no action.

So, to start taking some action even with self-doubt there, we are also going to have to have some feelings of determination, and motivation, and openness, and willingness, and courage, and commitment, right? All of those feelings will need to be there, and they have to be created by our thoughts, thoughts that we choose to think on purpose. This is where coaching is so powerful for me, and why it gives me such incredible results. Like most of the things I believe about myself today, I only believe because of my coaches. They believed in me before I did, right? And they not only gave me permission to believe differently about myself, they showed me how it was required that I believe differently about myself. If I wanted to get different results, coaching just reveals to yourself what you really believe about yourself, the thoughts that you really think. And when you see how those beliefs are unconsciously driving the action you are taking, or preventing the action you want to take, then you can think something different. And it's just the coolest thing, right? When we can see where our beliefs are limiting us then we can break them all apart by questioning them and questioning the assumptions they are built on so that they no longer feel true.

And then we can decide and practice believing something else. Belief in ourselves and in our work is the most important thing we can do to create our results because belief starts the chain. It drives those dominoes towards the result we want. We need to believe in order to feel the feelings that are going to fuel the action that are going to give us our results, and those beliefs are a choice. They are a decision, they aren't an arrival point when we're good enough, they're not like a finish line when we're finally qualified or ready enough. They are just a decision. You decide to believe in yourself, and your work, and that you are the best one to do it. You have to decide that what you have to offer is valuable, and that the world needs you, and that you have something important to offer even before you are 100% sure that you do. Because the only thing between you now, and the you that does the thing, is the belief that it's possible, right?

One of you believes it's possible, and the other doesn't. As Tracy Goss asked in, The Last Word On Power, "What would you be committed to accomplishing if only it were possible?" Whether or not it's possible is determined not out in the world, but inside your own mind. That you that does the thing believes 100% that it can be done. Your work is to become him, or her, and to think what he or she thinks.

Okay, the last thing I want to give you as you go to do the thing, is something that my coach offered me recently that has really made a big difference for me, and I hope it will make a difference for you too. My coach calls it, "the third thing." She says, "There is you, there is your work, and there is the third thing. And the third thing wants your work out in the world, the third thing knows that your work will help people, and blessed people, and make their lives better in some way." And of course I think of this third thing as our Heavenly Father that there is me, there is my business, and there is Heavenly Father. And he is rooting for me! More than that, he is helping me. When he sent all of us to Earth, he gave all of us gifts, and he knew that we would learn so much, and grow by exercising these gifts, and overcoming our human natural man brains, to use our gifts, and create things in the world. And that's important. But he also knew that as we each exercise our gifts, that it would make life better for each other as well. That in some ways it would alleviate the suffering of others, and lift their burdens, and help them on their journey, make it more enjoyable on their way back to him. And so, he is involved in all of it, for our growth, and for the benefit of those we share the planet and the human experience with.

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So, I'm going to give you a personal example of this, and I hope that you will bear with me as I try to describe this. I actually hesitated a little bit in sharing it, because I didn't want you to think that I was making it about me, because I know for sure it's not about me. That was actually my number one takeaway from this story that it isn't about me at all, but it is about Heavenly Father, and his work, and his love for each of us.

So, last week I told you guys that I'm doing a podcast in a couple of weeks where I'm going to answer your questions. Oh, by the way, if you have a question, and you haven't submitted it, you can go to the show notes of this episode, and click that link, and you can record your question for me. Anyway, last week I got the first question from a listener, and as I played that question back, and I heard this woman's voice I was just kind of awestruck for a moment as I realized there is an actual person out there in the world, with an actual problem, that needs actual help. Now of course, I know this intellectually that you are out there listening. And I talked to so many of you on coaching calls, and some of you become my clients. And so, I know, I do know that you are actual people with actual problems, and the whole point of the podcast is that I am offering you something that I think will help. So, in order to help that implies that in fact you are out there, and you have problems, and you are listening, right? So, of course I thought I knew this, but when I heard this listener's voice last Friday for some reason it hit me in a way that it hadn't before

That we are all humans here on the planet together. And it's hard for all of us. And we all have challenges, and because we all have brains, we all have problems. And in some way I am helping, but more than that, Heavenly Father wants me to help. He is rooting for me to get out of my own way, to overcome my own fear, to get into action, and publish my podcast, and do all the things that are scary for me, so that somebody else's journey back to him can be a little less painful. So that they can find a little more joy, so that it can be a little bit easier, even in the smallest way. It's not about me, but in fact he's using each of us. He's nudging each of us to contribute to help, to give, to do the scary thing, to share our art, or our words, or our ideas, or our inventions to make Earth life just a little less painful as we grow, and receive our education, and become who he wants us to be.

In so many ways I think he wants us to use our personal education to assist, and help, and smooth the path of others with similar life curriculums as ours. There is you, there is the thing you want to do in the world, and there is the third thing, there is our Heavenly Father. And he is a part of it. He is a part of what you feel called to create and do. He knows that as you do this you will grow, you will get to overcome your humanness in one more way, you will exercise your faith, and move forward. Despite the protests of your human brain, and that is the work that we all came to do, but also as you do that work, you bless all the rest of us as well. Our lives are enriched, and made better. Our thoughts are expanded, our perspectives are changed, how grateful I am for all those people who have contributed so much when it was scary for them so that my life could be better. I'm so grateful that they didn't listen to their own brains, that they believed they had something to contribute, and they didn't let fear, or self-doubt, or insecurity stop them. I always think about that like where would I be if my prophets, and my teachers, and the writers that I read, the artists, the inventors, all those people that have impacted my life had waited until they didn't feel scared, or saw the fears of their own brain as a reason to stop. I am so glad they didn't.

So, there is you, there is your work, and there is your Heavenly Father, and you are not alone. You have a work to do for you, and your growth, and to ease the burdens of others. Go do it! Go do the thing! Move towards the discomfort, move towards the pain, start now. It never gets easier. The most important part of whatever you do is deciding to believe it's possible, deciding to believe that you create all of your results by the way you think about yourself, and your work.

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And remember that you are not alone. Heaven is helping you.

Now speaking of people who bless my life by being brave, there is an awesome song by Andy Grammer that I love called, "I Wish You Pain," and you should definitely get on Spotify, and listen to it, right? And to me there is a little message in there from the third thing, right? The things that I think Heavenly Father would say to me about my Earth-life experience about what I came to do, and about how it's supposed to be hard when I go to put myself out in the world. And in this song, Andy Grammer says, "I wish you pain, because I love you, and because I want you to grow, I want things to be hard for you." And there's this part that says, "Because everything that matters most goes by a different name. I know that it might sound strange, but I wish you pain." And then he concludes the song by saying, "I love you more than you could ever know. I just want to see you grow. I want you to grow."

That is why we do the thing. Yes! The creation of it in the world blesses the world. You doing the thing blesses the rest of us in the world. But what you're really after is the growth. What happens to you as you overcome your own brain, and put your personal work out into the world, and do the thing that stretching growth is what we really came for and doing the thing is the best way to get it. And that my friends is 100% awesome!

Go do the thing I love you for listening and I'll see you next week. Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. If you want to take the things I've talked about and apply them in your life so that you can love your Earth-life experience. Sign up for a free coaching session at aprilpricecoaching.com This is where the real magic happens and your life starts to change forever as your coach. I'll show you that believing your life is 100% awesome is totally available to every one of us. The way things are is not the way things have to stay and that my friends is 100% awesome!