Episode 81: Transformation Through Coaching

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Episode Summary

A single shift in thought can make a huge impact on your life. So when you get coaching and those shifts happen regularly, again and again on a weekly basis, those shifts start to add up in a big way. They stack up. But they don’t just add up, they compound. They actually start to have an exponential effect on your life, changing it in bigger and faster ways than you thought were possible.

Some of the biggest shifts I have gotten through coaching have happened to me when I was watching other people be coached, when I could suddenly see my own thought patterns from a different perspective. On today’s episode, I tell you about some of the most powerful shifts I have received through group coaching—so that you can see the power of watching other people be coached and get your own significant shifts in your thinking.

Episode Tools and Questions

I really do believe that a single shift in thought can change your entire life. When you have a coach, you get those shifts again and again. Every week, my coach helps me shift my self-concept just a little bit more and those shifts start to add up. They compound and they start to have an exponential effect on your life, changing it in bigger and faster ways than you thought were possible.

So today I want to talk to you about the transformations I have received specifically through group coaching, when I was watching other people be coached. I hope that this will show you how effective and powerful group coaching can be and show you the massive shifts you can get in your life through a group coaching program. And I also hope it will give you your own shifts in thinking.

Notice how in each case, the thoughts the coach offered, were not thoughts our brain is likely to give us on default. But they are thoughts that are available. And our coach is our guide to those new thoughts. They can show us where we can see things differently and use our agency to get different results. That’s what makes coaching powerful for each of us.

1. “She’s supposed to be sad.”

Whenever I think things should be different than they are, I create suffering for myself. This idea is that everybody and everything is exactly like it should be. When I stop arguing with what is, then I get to peace.

This coaching allowed me to love the version of people that they were, and not the version that I thought they should be.

2. “Whatever the amount is your bank account right now, that is just the result of what you think about money. And that’s not bad.”

If I don’t make my results bad, and I just look at them as “interesting,” then I can get curious about the thoughts that are creating the result. This coaching helped me drop so much shame in my life and that allowed me to really look at my thoughts in an honest, curious way.

My life now could not be more different and all of this it came from the idea that the result I was getting was created by my thoughts and that wasn’t bad. It was just interesting.

3. “You think NOT having cancer would be better than having cancer. But what if you’re wrong about that?”

We don’t know what is “better.” And when we think our life would be better another way, we create unnecessary pain for ourselves. We are rejecting the life we are actually living.

Our thoughts don’t change the circumstances of our lives, but our thoughts do change our experience of those circumstances. We are protected from every circumstance in our life by the way we think about things. This is the key to loving the life you have instead of wishing you had a different one.

4. “Your husband’s actions aren’t good or bad. They just are. And you get to think about them any way you want.”

Other people’s actions don’t mean anything about us. Other people’s actions are just the things they do—they are a result of what they are thinking and feeling. What other people do is 100% neutral. What other people do is not good or bad until we have a thought about it. What other people do is just a cicumstance in your life. And you get to think about it any way you want.

Now that doesn’t mean you should think it’s positive if you don’t want to, but it does mean that the MEANING you give to it is what makes you feel the way you do. This shift allows us to see other people with compassion and curiosity, rather than frustration and anger. It puts us back in control of what we actually have power over—our thoughts about what they do.

What we are always learning through coaching is where our agency is. Where we always have the right to choose—regardless of the circumstances, regardless of diagnoses, regardless of how other people feel or act or what they do, regardless of even our own behaviors. We get to choose how we think about all of it. And that makes all the difference.

Join me in my new group coaching program, Made for More, where you can get coached and see other people be coached every single week and these thoughts shifts can start to compound in your life—so you can get the most out of this life and the next.

Episode Notes

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