Episode 97: Your Brain is Your Only Problem

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April price. You might not know it but every result in your life is 100% because of the thoughts you think and that my friends is 100% awesome!

Hello podcast universe! Welcome to episode 97 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and I want to welcome you to the podcast today. How are you? I have been thinking a lot about you. I've been thinking about how hard it is to be a human, who's with me? How hard it is to be a human, and how much harder we make it when we tell ourselves that we're acceptable, and wrong, and unlovable, and that we're doing it all wrong, or making a mess of it, and we should be doing better. And I just want you to know that of course you're making a mess of it, you're supposed to be. And you are 100% lovable, and amazing the whole time you're making a mess of it, okay?

I wanted to just share a little story that happened to me this week that I've been thinking about the last couple days, and I hope that it will be helpful to you. So, when I was much, much younger, I was not quite even 30 yet, I had four little kids that were six and under, and had a new baby. And I got called to be the Relief Society president for my church congregation. And for those of you who don't know what that means, there's an organization in our church that is made up of the women in our church who are 18 years and older. And it's called the Relief Society, and its purpose is just like it sounds, its purpose is to provide relief. And sort of like organized together to provide relief for each other. And for my congregation at this time, I was asked to be the president of this organization and lead the women in my congregation, and minister to them, and help them, and teach them, and offer relief to them, and their families.

And like I said, I was young, and I knew way less than I know now for sure. And as you know, I am also a human right? I am a human wife. I am a human mother, and I was a human Relief Society President. And as hard as I tried, I did a lot of things wrong for sure. That's what we do as humans, we do a lot of things wrong, we mess it up, okay? And there was one woman in my congregation that rightly so didn't think I did a very good job. Actually, probably a lot of women that that I didn't do a good job, but this one in particular really didn't like all the ways that I messed up. And in fact, she and her family moved to a different congregation because of this, right? Because she felt so offended by me. And for many many years I felt a lot of shame about this. And last week this sweet woman contacted me and said that she was sorry for probably misinterpreting my actions back then, and she apologized for getting offended at whatever I had done.

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And admittedly I can't even remember all the things that I did, all the ways that I messed up like, who really knows what I did, but I'm certain that I did a lot of things wrong cause that's how I roll. I am a human, and I make a lot of mistakes, but my point is that this is the case for all of us. We are all a mess. I mess it up, she messes it up, you mess it up. And we can alleviate so much of our suffering if we can stop thinking that we shouldn't. I had so much shame about offending her because I thought I shouldn't have. I had so much shame, because I thought I wasn't supposed to make mistakes. I was supposed to be offering relief for heaven sakes, and clearly I had done the opposite of that. And it just wasn't acceptable to make mistakes. But here's the thing, of course it is. Of course I am supposed to make mistakes. Of course, she is supposed to make mistakes, and if we can allow ourselves to mess up without making it mean that we were unacceptable in some way, then half of our pain is immediately solved.

And this week just reminded me that if we can get past our own negative condemning assessment of ourselves, and we can drop into compassion, and love for ourselves, and other who are messing it up and should be, that that will change everything for us, right? It's the condemnation that keeps us stuck, and I just want you to know that it's 100% okay that you mess it up. That's 100% okay that you get it wrong, and you hurt other people, and you think you know best when you don't actually know anything. You came to mess it all up, that is the point of all of it. That's why we're here together, and there isn't a way to learn it without messing it up. I promise you it's totally okay, and the faster you allow yourself to space to mess up the faster you can drop the shame and try again.

Okay, so that was a rather long way of saying that like being a human is hard. But gosh, we make it so much harder when we think we should just be better already, and stop making a mess of things. Like how much easier would it be if you just knew you were going to mess it up, and that you were supposed to, right? And maybe you're out there saying but April you're a coach, and aren't you trying to help people not mess it up, and help make them better? And I want to say no. No, I am not. I am not trying to help people be better, they can't be better. There is no such thing as better people, there is no such thing as being better than another person. And there is no such thing as being better than you. Being better than who you are right now. And as a coach, I'm trying to help you understand your power to live the life you want, and love your life no matter what, and what is always in the way of that, always. Always in the way of you living the life you want, and doing what you came to do, and loving yourself and your life, and all of that is your brain. It's always your brain. Your brain is the only problem you have. Can you believe that. Crazy, right?

Your brain is the only problem you have, and I know it doesn't feel like that, I know it feels like you have a lot of problems. I know it feels like for one thing that you are the problem, that you mess it up as I said. And you have all kinds of problems in your life, right? You share the planet with flawed Relief Society President's that mess it up, and make your life harder. So, I know it feels like you have a lot of problems, but the source of every problem you have is your brain. The only problem you ever have is your brain, and therefore the only real solution to every problem you have is managing that brain, which is such a relief, right? You don't need a million Solutions, you need a million answers, and you don't even have a million problems at all require a different solution. You just have one problem, and you just need one solution, okay? And so, that's what I want to talk to you about today, how your brain is the only problem. How managing your brain is the only solution and why it matters?

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So, first how your brain is the only problem, okay? So I want to start by having you think about any problems that you have right now as you look at your life. Think about the problems you have, and I sort of think that our problems fall into two categories. Okay, we have the problems that are associated with being a human that lives in a fallen world, okay? And then, the second category problems are the problems of not doing, or in action, or what I heard Steven Pressfield call this week, "resistance." So, I'm going to explain both of those a little bit. So, the first category of problems is all the things that happen in life because we are humans living on this planet, having a human experience that has been designed to be an experience of contrast, right? There's opposition, and these are all the problems that can happen to us as humans.

All the things that cause of pain, right? Problems like hunger, and fatigue, and disappointment, and illness, and betrayal, and war, and conflict, and like disease, and aggravation, and loneliness, and laundry, and taxes, right? Like things are all the big problems, and all the little problems that are created by the actions of other people that are unkind, or rude, or cruel, or just like misinformed. Or the things that happened in the world like natural disasters, and viruses, okay? This first category of problems all the negative emotions we feel because we are humans that have physical needs, and we live with other humans on this physical planet, okay? That we share with them, and we have all those problems that come from that.

Now, the second category of problems is all the things we don't do. All the action that we don't take, all the ways that we sort of betray our highest-self in favor of our natural man. This category of problems is all the disappointment, and pain that we feel when we don't live up to our potential. The pain we create when we don't push ourselves outside of our comfort zone, and we just settle for what's easy, or comfortable, but which in fact creates its own kind of pain for like what could have been right? It's the pain that Thoreau talked about when he talked about how we're living lives of quiet desperation.

It's the pain we feel when we ignore the part of us that wants more from this life. When we ignore that voice, or that spirit inside us, right? When we limit what we do while we're here on the Earth, okay? So, just to give you an example of these two kinds of problems, I want to take you back to my life 5 years ago when I didn't know that my brain was the problem, okay? And I want to show you how these two kinds of problems kind of show up and get in my way.

So, let's just take health for example, back problems, I was overweight, and I had a whole bunch of health problems that came from having cancer when I was a child, and then on top of those health problems those physical problems, I had the problem of not taking action. I kept telling myself that I wanted to take. I didn't eat right, I didn't exercise, no matter how many plans I made to do them, okay? When it came to my money I had the problem that we all have of limited resources that each of us face as a human. Where there isn't enough money for the things that we need, or want, and I was living paycheck-to-paycheck. And then, on top of those physical problems, I had the problem of resistance, or inaction, or not doing when I wasn't taking the action I wanted to with my money. I wasn't sticking to my budget or executing the plans I had with my money. I wasn't like saving, and spending wisely, when I said it was going to, okay? When it came to my relationships, I had the problem all the other humans in my life saying, and acting, and doing what they wanted to do, which felt like a problem right? Then, I had on top of that the problem of resistance inside of me where I wasn't showing up the way I wanted to, I wasn't loving like I knew I could, or wanted to. I wasn't being the person I wanted to be. And I would set goals to not yell, and not get angry, and to be kind, and then I couldn't, or wouldn't do those things, okay?

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And this goes on and on in every area in my spiritual life, right? I had the problem that I lived in the world with opposition, and sin, and I worship with other human beings that made mistakes, and I was trying to understand God from a very limited human perspective. Then I had all the resistance to where I wasn't showing up, and doing the things I wanted, like praying, or seeking a connection with God. Like I knew I wanted to, right? And I would set goals, I was going to do better, and then I just wouldn't, okay? This is how it goes for each of us. We all have problems that come with living in a fallen world full of contrast. And then, we have the problem of not doing what the real us wants to do. So, no matter if it's the pain that we think is caused by living here on this planet, or if it's the pain that is caused by our own inaction, either way the truth is that all these problems are actually created by our own brains.

It is not you, it's not the world, its not other people, it's your brain. For a moment I want you to think about yourself before you came to Earth. Imagine what it was like go back to you before you got here, right? I want you to think about you the eternal you that existed before you got here, and it will exist long after you leave, right? And I want you to consider what happened to us when we got put inside our bodies. The body that you're sitting in right now what happened to that you, okay? When that happened suddenly your brain became an automatic filter between you, meaning the eternal you, and your Earth life experience, okay? Now, suddenly everything that you experience physically in the world has to be processed through this filter, the filter of your brain. And then everything eternal the spirit, you, everything inside of you that you want has to overcome this filter, to go out into the world and be manifested in the physical world.

Once we were put in our bodies now everything outside of you has to go through this filter to be experienced by the eternal you. And everything inside of you the internal you has to overcome this filter to become manifest out in the physical world. In other words, there is a barrier between the spirit you, the eternal you, and this physical world and that barrier is your brain. And that barrier is the problem, it's always the problem. It interprets much of what's happening in the world physically as problematic as it comes in and it creates incredible resistance to letting what is inside of you, the real you, like coming out and being created in the world. This filter, your brain, is creating your problems in both cases. It's interpreting the world in a way that creates your pain, and it prevents the real you from taking action that your spirit wants to put things into the world, okay? So, how does it do this? How does our brain create the problem? Will it create the problem by being biologically programmed to look for what's dangerous, and then always choose with easiest and safest?

So, let's start with the problem of being a human in the world. Stuff happens in the world, not a problem yet. But then, all this stuff happening has to pass through the filter of your brain to get to you. The filter is what's looking for, "What's dangerous, remember?" So when life passes through this filter your brain is interpreting what is happening. And then, suddenly we have problems meaning that the way your brain interprets this stuff that is happening, is what makes it a problem. So, let's go back to our example. Let's say I get a pinched nerve, and I can't walk or sit without pain. This is not technically a problem yet, until my brain interprets this as a problem. My brain has an opinion that my life isn't as good, and it's harder, and it's not as enjoyable, because I have this pinched nerve that creates frustration and self-pity, and aggravation.

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Or let's say like I have more bills than money, and my brain interprets this as a problem, right? It seems it is dangerous, it's like we might not have what we need. There might be lots of negative consequences to not paying these bills, and my brain interprets all of this as a problem. And it creates fear, and anxiety, and shame. Or my husband doesn't empty the garbage, or he's on his phone all night. That would never happen. And my brain interprets this as a problem. It looks for how dangerous this is that he doesn't love us enough, and it creates resentment, and annoyance, and irritation, right now. Technically, none of these things are actually problems until I have a thought about them, right? No matter what happens in the world, what is happening has to be interpreted through our brain. Whatever happens. Whatever the circumstance we have to have a thought about it in order to have a problem. In other words problems are opinions. What one person interprets as a problem is only their brains deal of it, which means that we create our problems with our own minds by the way our brain interprets what it perceives as dangerous in the world around it.

I remember once hearing Brooke Castillo coach someone who had just gotten a cancer diagnosis. She thought she had a problem, and she was upset by it and Brooke said, "Why is this a problem?" And the woman said because I don't want cancer. And brooke said, "Well, that's just because you would think not having cancer is better than having cancer." And the woman was like, "Yeah, and I'm not saying that she shouldn't see it as a problem, but just notice that it's not actually a problem until our brain has an interpretation." Our brain has thoughts about it. This woman thought not having cancer was better than having cancer. And so it made having cancer a problem, right? But only because her brain interpreted not having cancer as less dangerous, and therefore better, okay? And by no means do I mean to imply that we shouldn't have problems, or that we can't see cancer the problem. Of course, you can. I'm not saying that it's all made up, or it's not real, or we shouldn't be having any problems, that is not what I mean. I just want to point out that it's so good to know that I am experiencing all my problems through my thoughts. Through my brain's interpretation of the world, and that means that I also have the power to change my experience anytime I want. We don't have any problems except that our brain is interpreted as such, and that means that our solution to any problem is always our interpretation, as well. In the way that we decide to think about things.

So, we're going to get to that in a minute. But first let's look at the second problem, right? The not doing, the resistance that our brain offers us when the eternal us wants to do things, okay? Because I don't know if you've noticed any time you decide you're going to do something, and you set a goal, and you really want to do this thing, I don't know if you've noticed but your brain doesn't want to do it. Like ever! It never wants to eat right, or exercise, or save money, or pray, or publish podcast, or love difficult people. It never wants to pay, and no matter how bad you the internal you wants it, the brain is going to offer you all kinds of resistance to whatever it is that the real you wants to do. It's going to tell you it's too hard. It doesn't matter. It's too late. I'm tired. I'll do it tomorrow. And we're all like what is wrong with me? I say I want to do these things, and then I never do them. And I want you to know that you do want to do things, the real you does want to, but our brain remember always wants what's easiest, and safest, most comfortable right now.

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And so, the brain creates all kinds of resistance to keep us from not manifesting and creating in the world what are spirit really wants? All of this is created by our brain, it wants to save energy, and avoid pain. And so, when we go to do things that offers us all kinds of thoughts which produce negative emotions, and keep us from not doing them. So, this week I heard an interview with Steven Pressfield who has kind of spent his career writing about this resistance that our brain creates. And he described this resistance kind of as this negative force. This negative force in the world, like a negative force of self-sabotage and it's like out in the world like gravity. And it works against us any time we tried to move as he said from like a lower-level to a higher-level like in any area, right? Like ethically, and morally, spiritually, creatively. Anytime we're trying to move from that lower level to a higher level of this resistance kind of kicks in. I don't think that is a force that exists in the world like gravity, right? So, much as a force that exerted by our own brains when we go to do what our spiritual eternal us really wants. So, Steven Pressfield described it like this. He said, most of us have to live the life we live, and the unlived life within apps between the two stands resistance. And I think that is just so true, and so beautifully said, right?

When I look back at my life for 5 years ago. There was a life I was living and there was the unlived life I wanted to live. The unlived life I kept putting off. And the reason I wasn't living the life I wanted was because of the resistance put up by my own brain. And so, I just think it's good for you to see the real problem here. The problem isn't what is happening in our lives, and the problem isn't all the things we aren't doing that we wish we were, the problem is our brain. Between you and the life you want is your brain, and when you really understand that you can find a solution that actually works to get the life you want. Before we know what the problem really is, before we truly know that, the brain is the only problem.

We are constantly trying to work on, and solve the symptoms, and budgets, and relationship workshops, and communication techniques, and parenting classes, and scripture reading programs, and commitment to work on our craft and our passion every day, right? And on and on and on all of which are good. All of which can be useful, but none of which will work if you don't manage the real problem, if you don't manage your brain first. Because your brain is going to sabotage all of that. If you don't manage your brain, you will continue to interpret all the stuff as problems, and any action you try to take without managing your mind will eventually fail under the force of resistance. So, the good news that I have for you is that even though you were put in a body with a brain that is a barrier between the eternal you, and the physical world. Even though this barrier is the problem God put the solution to this problem inside of you.

He gave you agency. He gave you the ability to choose no matter your brains inclination to look for danger, and interpret everything as a problem, or it's inclination to choose the path of least resistance, and do it easy and comfortable. Regardless of these inclinations your brain cannot supersede your ability to choose. Nothing can override your ability to choose. No matter what the problem your brain presents you get to choose how you think about it. You get to choose how you interpret it. You don't have to take your brains opinion. And no matter how much resistance your brain puts up, you get to choose. You get to choose what you will, and won't do. Technically your brain can't stop you, it's not powerful enough to stop you. All it can do is offer resistance, offer negative emotion, and you get to choose. The solution is your ability to choose, like the filter is there and it makes things harder. It distorts things, it produces a whole lot of negative emotion for you, but it doesn't choose, you always get to choose. The real you gets to choose, and the more you can choose the life you want the more you can choose your interpretation of the world, the more power you have to get, and create the Earth-life experience you really want.

So how do we do this first? We just have to start to be aware of the choice. We have to start to be aware of what our brain is doing, and then we just need to get curious about it. To investigate why we are thinking the way we are? What else we could think instead? We need to decide on purpose what we are going to think? What we're going to think about us? We're going to think about others about our life, about our capacity. We decide on purpose, or we're going to sink, and then we practice thinking that way. And has we practice it we create a different life for herself. This is what I did in my life, I first became aware that my brain was creating my life because I was letting its interpretation, and its resistance run the show. I was taking my brains word for it, and I didn't have to. I got coached, then I figured out and I learned other ways to think about things. I learned to question my brain's interpretation all the time always questioning my brain, and its interpretation. And then I decided on purpose what I want to think instead, and I practice, and practice, and created new neural pathways, by choosing to think the way I want over, and over, and over, again.

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Coaching taught me that I had the solution inside of me, it was simply a matter of seeing the real problem, and then managing my mind so that I could get the life I really wanted. This is why I love coaching. This is why I am a coach. And this is why I think it is so powerful for my clients, right? They're able to see the truth, that the only problem ever is their own brain. The interpretation of their brain and the resistance of their brain, right? And it's a solution is inside of them. They have the power to choose, and coaching showed me, and it shows them over, and over, and over, again our agency. Our place to choose. Where we get to choose the life that we want. I want to invite you to coaching.

So I listen to Russell Brunson podcast all the time. He has this podcast on marketing, and business, and since I have a business I listen to him pretty often, right? I like his perspective on life, and I like his perspective on how our business is the way that we bless the world right? Anyway, I listen to all the time and the other day I realized like he has this product that he talks about, right? And I would just assume that he was talking to someone else about it, right? Like I was their consuming the podcast, and sometimes he would talk about this product he has, and then I would just sort of think "Well thats not for me, right? He's not really talking to me. He's inviting someone else like a real business person, or something to join his program." The other day I had this moment I thought "Oh my gosh, he's talking to me. He's trying to tell me that if I think his podcast is helpful, I should really get his product, because it's going to be even more helpful, right? And I realized, like maybe you don't know that I'm talking to you when I invite you to coaching. I'm not talking to someone else. I'm not talking to someone who's like older, or wiser, or got their life together more, or is at a place where coaching is like the next logical step. I'm talking to you, and inviting you to coach with me.

And if you think this podcast is helpful, working with me as your coach is a million times more helpful. Because it's the practical application of everything I talk about here. It's like moving from theory and ideas and putting it all to work in your life, right? With your brain in your circumstances it's changing your own brain, and then change your life right along with it. Right now applications are open for my next few coaching session, and we are going to start on the first day of April. And I think you should be in that group. I call my group coaching program Made for More, because I think you were made for more in this group. I think it's a very best way to get more of what you really want in your life. And I think you should be in it. And if you want, you can apply at my website.

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Okay, so to recap, the problem is your brain, and the solution is your agency. Now, why does any of this matter? Why does it matter that you overcome your brain, and choose to think differently. Well, I think it matters because this is your life. I think it matters because you are having the incredible privilege of an Earth-life experience. All of this was created so that you would have an opportunity to learn to choose. Even your brain, the barrier that it is, was specifically designed and biologically created so that you could have the experience of choice. Of choosing for yourself the life you wanted, and you can't get it unless you choose it, and that is by design.

I want you to think about the idea of the hero's journey, right? This is a thing that is like in every movie, and every book. We love the idea of the hero's journey, right? Where the hero goes on a journey and he has a goal is trying to get somewhere, and along the way he faces obstacle, after obstacle, after obstacle. And without the obstacle like it's not a story, it's just a long walk right out the office to call. There's nothing to tell, just really long walk. And this is where you are right, you are on your own hero's journey. You have left home, and the obstacle after obstacle, after obstacle in front of you on your way back home is your own brain. What will you learn as you overcome it? What will you learn as you go on this journey? Who you become as you do it, how do you change, and grow, and evolve as you overcome the obstacle of your own brain? That is why you came and I think it's work worth doing why it matters is because this is all spiritual work.

It's all spiritual work because we are eternal spiritual beings, and all the work we do in this life to overcome our brain in any area is spiritual work. This work is exercising my right to choose despite the barrier of my brain, and every time I do that in any area of my life, I become a little bit more like the God that gave me life. I have a little bit more power of creation in my light and I can emulate him and his creative ability a little bit more. Your life is a gift this experience on Earth is a gift there is nothing else like it, and while you're here, I think you should get what you came for. That is your privilege as a human, and your inheritance as a child of God to create the life you want despite the barrier of your brain and in fact become who you were meant to be because of the barrier of your brain and that my friends is 100% Awesome.

I love you for listening and I'll see you next week.

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Applications for my group coaching program Made for More are now open at April price coaching. Calm your brain was program for survival. But you were made for more you were made for more love and more accomplishment and more joy right now and I can show you the simple way to get all of that join me and made for more where we will spend six months coaching and reprogramming your brain so that you can get the most out of this life and the next go to April price coaching.com to apply and I'll see you there.