Try Coaching for Yourself

Episode 136: The Generational Impact of Your Choices

Dec 09, 2021
April Price Coaching
Episode 136: The Generational Impact of Your Choices

Episode Summary

I signed up for coaching to change me. I was desperate to be different, so I signed up to make my life experience different. But it changed the circumstances for my family as well. And I think that is freaking awesome.

One of the reasons I think a lot of us are hesitant to sign up for coaching is that it feels indulgent or selfish…but I want to show you that any choice we make to change our own lives, changes the circumstances of the people we love. Every choice we make has a ripple effect.

Over the last four years, my family has definitely changed. But I was the only one who had to change to create that. Because when you change one variable, the whole equation changes.
I didn’t change with that objective in mind, but it’s a really cool result.

It doesn’t change their thoughts. It doesn't change or determine their happiness, it doesn’t make them different, and it doesn’t create their results. All of that is up to them. But you being different does create a different circumstance for them.

You getting coached won’t change your family. But it will change you and your experience of your family, and that will create totally different opportunities in your relationships with the people you love most.

Episode Transcript

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price. You might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome.

Hello, podcast universe! Welcome to episode 136 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and I hope you are having an amazing holiday season. I have an awesome episode planned for you today. But before we get to that, I had a thought that I wanted to share with you. I was just driving back from the physical therapist, I hurt my back last week and so I've been back and forth between the physical therapists and the chiropractor. And this morning, as I was driving home, I just had this thought like, I am so grateful to know that help is available.

I cannot tell you how many years I spent, like believing I just had to suffer, like back pain was just a part of like my miserable or life experience, and there was nothing that I could do about that. I had cancer when I was a kid and because of surgery and radiation and like probably genetics as well, I just had like lots and lots of years of back pain. And for most of my life, I told myself, like, there isn't anything that you can do about it, like, this is just your body, this is just the way things are and nobody can help you. And I finally figured out that that was not true, that was just the story that I was telling myself. And in fact, there were a lot of people who can help, and they wouldn't be able to remove all my pain or all my discomfort. But they could help me, like, alleviate so much suffering. Like there are people out there that had the knowledge and the skills and the training to help even me. And like the whole reason I'm telling you this is that I think a lot of you have that same thought about your mental and emotional lives.

Like you just think that like your life is painful and hard because of your choices. Or the choices of other people, or the circumstances that have happened to you. And like, like pain is required, then there's nothing to be done about it. We can't change people and we can't change what's happened and we can't change us. And so, we're just going to suffer and be in pain, and be unhappy, and discouraged, and despondent and like, there's just like nothing we can do about it. And I just want you to know that it is not true. You are more powerful than, you know. You have way more choices than, you know. And those choices can make an enormous impact on the amount of pain you have on the quality and enjoyment of your Earth-life experience.

Like, even if you just stop judging yourself for the way you are experiencing your life, like so much pain can be alleviated, it can be so much better. It can be so much more joyful. You are not stuck and you can change way more than you think you can. You have control over you and that is all you need. So, I want you to stop telling yourselves that it can't be better. It can be, and it is so much easier than you think. You don't have to change everything. You don't have to be a different person. You just have to change the way you are thinking. And it is a really actually simple process to like a straightforward process to be able to do that if you change your thoughts, it will change everything else. And I think the best way to do that, the best way to change the way you think, the best way are really aware of what you're thinking and change those thoughts is through coaching.

And I want you to know that sign-ups for my next coaching group are going on right now. The next group starts the first week in January, and I want you to be a part of it. I want you to learn how to manage your mind. I want you to learn where your power is, where your control is, so that you can, like, have the Earth-life experience that you really want. And I want to invite every single one of you to join my coaching program. I want you to know that it can be better, and I want to show you how right? Not just like know that like theoretically, this could be better if I was different or if everything else is different, but no to know, like exactly how it can be better even here, even right now, as I am like, This is your life, it is precious and amazing, and I want to invite each of you to come and learn how to choose your Earth-life experience the one you really want. Love yourself in it and love your life. I won't be offering another group until the spring, and you don't have to wait to get relief. You don't have to wait to get more from your life. You can feel better, and you don't have to wait for everything in your life to get better first, either, right? Nothing has to get better for you to feel better. You just have to change the way you're thinking.

So, come and learn how to do that. This group is going to fill up, and I want you to have a spot in it. Get on a free coaching call with me this week and get coached. See the difference that it can make in your life. I'll tell you about my program and we can get you registered if that's something that you want. If you want things to be different, they can be. Every one of us has the right to choose our experience and they would love to show you how to. Choose the one you want. And I just want you to know also that when you make the decision to hire a coach and change the way you think, it doesn't just impact you.

And that brings us to today's episode. I know that you hear me talk a lot about how coaching has changed my life, but I thought it might be really helpful for you to see how that decision that I made to hire a coach and change the way I thought didn't just impact me. That decision impacted my family as well, and I believe actually it's a decision that has generational impact, meaning that it won't just impact my children, but it will impact their children as well, because that is true of all of our choices.

Every choice we make impacts other people like I was just talking to my husband about a guy in our church congregation that is so awesome and the way that he cares about people, the way he looks after people, the way he serves other people like he's just so good at noticing and watching and stepping in and being there for other people like that is who he is as how he shows up in the world, and that impacts our whole congregation. But all of that who he is, is created first in his mind, by the way he thinks by what he thinks about himself, by what he thinks about other people, about what he thinks about God and what he thinks about his relation to all of that. And that is just so powerful to know that as you make choices in your own mind, those choices dictate how you show up in the world, which means like what you think about the way you think really does impact the world at large and everyone around you. And I think that is so awesome, right?

I think it's amazing that when I signed up for coaching to change me, like I was so desperate to be different, I signed up to make myself different, to make my life experience different. But it ended up changing the circumstances of my family as well. And over the last four years, my family life has changed so much, but I was the only one that had to change for that to happen. When you change one variable, the whole equation changes. And I didn't go into coaching with that objective in mind, but it is a really awesome result. And so, I thought to show you this, I would invite my two oldest children onto the podcast to talk about how their lives have been impacted by my decision to get coached.

Like, I think one of the reasons that a lot of us are hesitant to sign-up for coaching is that it feels sort of indulgent or selfish or like, we shouldn't need this thing, but I want to show you that any choice you make in your life has a ripple effect doesn't just impact you, it impacts all the people you love, all the people you interact with. And that isn't to say that it's going to change them, right? Doesn't change their thoughts. It doesn't determine their happiness. It doesn't make them successful. It doesn't make them different. It doesn't create their results. All of that is still up to them.

But when you make different choices, it does create a different circumstance. It does create different like situations for all the people that you love. So, I wanted you to hear firsthand what this has meant, what my decision has meant to my children. Okay, so here we go. Welcome to the podcast, guys.

Thank you for having us.

This is awesome.

So, everybody on my podcast knows that coaching has impacted my life. Like, obviously, that's all I talk about all the time. It's like, how coaching has blessed my life? But I thought it might be really like, interesting and instructive for them to learn about that impact. That the coaching that I've done, the impact that that has had on my family, on you guys, on our relationships, on the way, even that you think about yourself and your lives. And just to give people some insight into that. So, I want to just start with like maybe just there, like how do you think me getting coached, you know, learning everything that I've learned? How do you think that has impacted your life?

"I definitely say that ever since you've gotten coach, I feel like my life and our relationship together has just gotten exponentially better in every way. In a lot of aspects, I think it's deeper and I just have a greater understanding of each other. And I think because of coaching, like, I feel like we are able to talk more and we can talk, you just help me with every problem in my life, essentially, and not to be like, not that. I'm like, I have a lot of problems, which I mean, let's be real, everyone has a lot of problems, and I feel like I have like one person that I can go to at all times. And so, I feel like that is one of the biggest impacts in my life is that I can just go to you for any advice, or any problems, about my thoughts, or my feelings that I have.


Yeah, I'd say one benefit is that you get free coaching. That's pretty nice.

Yeah, literally me, every day gets free coaching!

I was just thinking, it's really easy for me to. You see the difference because like I was on my mission when you were, yeah, getting coached, and so I didn't know anything about it. And so, I mean, you send emails and everything. And so, I can see like sort of subtle changes but aren't really paying attention. I was just like, Yeah, she's happier. She's just really happy for me being on this mission when I got back home. It was just this big stark contrast, as if, like life had just transformed for you personally, as well as for how the family was like functioning. Like one to remember, like just like I feel like we all probably bonded better together. It just felt like we were better understood. We weren't, you know, I yelling at each other so much. I can't say that for sure, but really, for me, it was just more about seeing the transformation in your life of how you just seem so much happier, so much more fuller. And life was abundant and you had all these opportunities available. And that was really impactful upon me because I was coming home from just this awesome experience in Italy. And but now I was trying to figure out life again, and I thought like, Oh my gosh, like, this is not good. I don't know what I'm doing and like. It just seems like, like I went from this high point into this low point. And now I find myself and you were just there, like, now this is completely normal, actually. It's just the way you're thinking about it. And I'm like, really like that seems like contradictory. Like, I just went for this amazing thing to just like kind of awful thing. And then, you're just like, no, really like try and think about and challenge his beliefs. And so it's just been these years of like trying to challenge these beliefs that I've had in my life that weren't serving me. That weren't making me happy or enjoying life or finding purpose and stuff and recognizing that the power was always within me to do that. And I think that's just really what you found for yourself is like the powers in me. I'm going to share this. I'm going to try and like and then like, ultimately, we all saw those effects and we're like, Oh, this is really nice, I like this like that feels great. And then now it's just more about like over the years since then, it's been kind of internalizing like, Oh, this can apply to me too. Like, this is also possible for me, not just possible for like the family.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Did you notice a big change in our personal relationship or not?

I would say so, yeah, because like, I think that beforehand our relationship was more like it was, I mean, of course it was loving and wonderful, but it's just sort of like, it's sort of like that loving and wonderful. Like, I don't know, like, want a caricature of a mother like in movies and stuff where you're like, I love you, but this is the way your life should go. Yeah, I love you. But like this is you're going to screw your life up if you just make these decisions. And so, then it just became this sort of idea of like, you get to live the life that you want. Yeah. And while that's really scary, that's understandable. But that was also really kind of like it put more impact on me and recognizing like, Oh, I have the power here. This is my life that I'm running. So then I started making decisions like for me and for things that I want. So then, I had to go through a real discovery of like what it is that I want, and now on the other side of it, I'm like, It's totally worth it. Like, yeah, because now I have a better understanding otherwise compared to before, like in high school and stuff like, yes, you gave me that kind of freedom, but it was sort of like, if you don't do this like your life can turn on terrible. Yes, this all this stress basically. Yeah, constricting the relationship. And so that would kind of come out, maybe. And some like, you know, in anger and yelling and like, Yeah, and that sort of feelings. And so, that kind of contention, whereas I mean, I haven't felt that at all.

Yeah, I mean, I think part of that probably is with growing up, but also I know that like my thoughts change so dramatically. And I think I think, like you said, it's hard. It's hard to describe. But I think it was almost like love I loved, but with expectation, like it was like I loved. But I also needed you to behave. I loved you, but I also needed you to, like, perform so that I could feel okay about the job I was doing. And not that I even knew that consciously it was just like, kind of, I think, underneath a relationship. And so, when that expectation leaves, there's just like so much freedom, and and unconditional love in the relationship. And at least that's how I felt. And and I don't even know that I was doing that honestly right now.

And that's the thing. It's like I just thought it was like normal. Like I was just thinking about examples of like, we'd just be in the car and I'd be afraid to like even just talk about, yeah, because I didn't know what was going to happen because of it. And now there's like just no fear. I just bring things up and like, obviously, you can react however you want, but it's more just like, yeah, like I'm I'm just bringing stuff up, like, I'm just talking, Yeah, I don't have to live in this. Like, it's not like to read sense of fear, but just sort of the fear and nervousness like, Oh, I don't know how she's going to feel about this.

Right, right. A fear of disapproval, even, okay?

Yeah, I know I feel the exact same way. I definitely think that, like removing the expectation was a huge part of it and there wasn't a need to perform or be better than anyone else. I know that like I don't. I felt like there was there was a point before coaching where it was like the disappointment, and like the dread of like not meeting expectations of not like being the best that I could be at all times. When really in actuality and what you've taught me through coaching is that you're always the best that you can be at all times, which I loved. And then, also along with like growing up, and I feel like when I was in high school, like my world was small and then like getting up into college and stuff, my world is so big. And so, my problems are a lot more like there are a lot they'd be like bigger problems. Sorry, I'm getting emotional, but like my problems are a lot bigger. And so, I feel like the thing that I've learned most through coaching because of you is that my life isn't totally ruined by making any sort of decision that I make. And I feel like once you get to that age where older, a lot of your decisions are like, you feel like every decision you make is going to make or break your life. And I feel like through our relationship, and what you've taught me is that it doesn't it isn't like that at all. And that, like any decision you make, is supposed to be the decision that you're supposed to make and that it's all going to work out the way that's supposed to work out. And so, I think that our relationship has only gotten stronger because I can also talk to you about like anything like it's kind of like what Caleb was saying about, like being nervous to talk about certain subjects or things like, Hey, I think about these things like this, is that weird? Or sometimes I think about this, is that weird or whatever. And if anything, it's just taught me that like, our relationship is so much more open. Yeah. And I also feel like we both have more compassion for one another in like the earlier years or even just like in the for the future, whatever. I feel like my from what I've learned from you for your experience when you went through coaching, is that like it has opened my eyes to like the world that you were living in inside your head? It gave me so much more compassion for like those years, and not that they were even that it's just that like, you know, it's kind of like what they always say, like in just people, you don't know what someone's going through is all going on under the surface. And I feel like from your experience, I have so much more compassion for that. And I feel like because you've been coached, you have compassion for my experience and you, like, understand. You're like, Yeah, I get it, we all have human brains, they all think differently. And so I feel like just like that kind of openness and not being afraid to talk about anything, and having more compassion for each other's experiences is like what I've gotten out of, what one of my favorite things that have gotten out of your coaching experience just for myself.

Yeah, I love that. That's awesome. And that kind of like leads me to another thing that I wanted to ask you guys about is how has the things that I've been coached on giving you a different perspective about your own futures? And you kind of just touched on that? But if you want to just speak to...

Kind of a little bit kind of like what I was saying, it really does like I really did just touch on it where like my life isn't totally screwed over by any decision that I make. And like, it isn't all like one thing is it isn't one decision. It's just going to like, make or break. It's just like there's not one decision to happiness, right? There's not one decision to happiness, and it's out of a lot of different decisions. And really, it's not even a decision. It's just like you choose to be happy in whatever scenario or situation that you're in. And you could also choose to be sad in any scenario the reason that you're in. And I like that I just I feel a lot less pressure to like, uphold a certain facade or like be okay in situations where I can, like, choose to be not okay, you know? Because I think that's important for people to know. A lot of people are like that, like, I'm on the struggle bus all the time, like I'm the only one that's struggling and you're like, No, everyone's struggling, you know, and it's okay to not be okay. And so, I feel like that is something that I like about my future is it's just like it's okay to not be okay and that any decision I make isn't going to make or break my life. It's just the path that I'm on, and it's going to be okay either way.

Yeah. You know, it's just interesting as a parent because you just you want so much for your children and almost in the wanting, so much for them like you, you, you inadvertently create damage, right? And so, I feel like that's one thing that coaching really helped and really change things in that for me, at least in the familial relationships, is that like I no longer even in my desires for you, I recognize, like, how could I possibly know what's best? And that thought has really helped me? Is that like whatever is happening for each of you is best? And how can? Like, how could I possibly know what would be better than that? And to just take myself out of that, like as a parent, you sort of think you're in charge of that. You sort of think like you're in charge of providing what's best for your children. And like for me, coaching just helped me realize like, I can't possibly know and whatever is happening is best. And so I stopped arguing with whatever you guys were going through. And that that really, I think, like healed so many of those relationships. Like, I didn't have to change any of you or your experience, so. Hmm. Yeah.

I liked what's really helped me. I think for that besides, I mean, that's for sure the decisions making sure understanding that every decision is going to be the right one for you, that's your path basically that you're going to decide for yourself. You're in charge of your own destiny basically in that. And that's not to mean you're in charge like you're also in charge of your own happiness. But that's distinguishing the fact that it's not the decision. It's not the thing itself. It's the thoughts. It's what you're choosing to think and feel about it. Correct? And there's no right or wrong when it comes to that. And so I think that was just a big eye-opening thing just to be like, well, I can just then make decisions and not have to worry about it. Just be like, I mean, obviously, there's going to be worry and there's going to be these things that come up. But understanding that like fear is just what you kind of have to go through. It's what you have to experience in order to get the things that you want in your life. And so, I think one thing is like, I was really fearful about like relationships and getting close to people and like kind of like, you know, and it's like finding a girlfriend and stuff like that. Like, I really struggled with that. That was like the biggest thing. And so, I think the thing that really impacted me in terms of like whenever you would coach me through that or talk to me about it, just recognizing that like like this person isn't supposed to make you happy. This person is just there. It's there for someone for you to love. And so, I think that really just flipped the whole relationship and just thinking, like, I'm not supposed to find this puzzle piece of the person that's supposed to just fit and make me happy. Obviously, there's, you know, some nuances and things to work through like and figure that out. It's just a decision, though. Yeah, whether you want to love this person or yeah. And and then for me, I've also like, just really loved the idea of like sticking with something, even if it's starting to get hard, even if it's starting to become uncomfortable and worrisome because that's really just your brain kind of turning on some alarm bells and recognizing like, Hey, we don't like this because it's different. It's not quote unquote normal because we don't get to relax, we don't get to be kind of lazy, we don't get to be avoid this pain that might potentially come up in the future because our brain likes to be safe. And so, that's really changed my life because I made a lot of decisions recently. And just like over the past year, basically that have put me in a position where normally my brain like, let's say, four years ago, yeah, would not want to go. Yeah. And it's changed my life dramatically in a way that I love. It's changed it in a way that I'm just like, Yes, I'm owning up to my life. Yes, it's kind of difficult. Yes, it's kind of hard and scary, but also it's fantastic. It's wonderful. I'm creating my life, basically.

Yeah. So, like, I was just thinking, as you were saying that like, you just got a job offer, it's in a city you've never lived in. There's nobody there right now that, you know. And I think, yeah, there there are times, especially just in young adulthood where you guys are at, where there's just like, okay, this feels like the edge of a cliff, right? But when you understand that like you are creating your life, you know that like ultimately, you can have a life you love no matter what happens right? And then you're always in good hands because you're loving yourself, then you are in your own hands. So, it's not saying like the outcome is going to be better, necessarily. It's just you're in good hands. You're going to take care of yourself. Let's say it goes bad. That's okay. You're still surviving. You're still alive. Yeah, yeah. I love that, and it kind of leads me to another question that I had, which is how has me getting coached and changing the way that I think about myself, I guess impacted the way you think about yourself?

I think you just have so much more confidence now in who you are as a person and who you are as running a business like, for example. You know, you weren't a businesswoman three years ago. Yeah, like you weren't. That's not the kind of person you were. I mean, obviously, I think you had that kind of spirit, but it's really just in terms of the thoughts and harnessing that creative energy and just being like, I'm going to actually do something. And so, I think it's that sense of belief and just saying like, this is who I am and this is what I'm going to create. This is what I want for my life. And then me recognizing me like, Oh, I can also do that too. So, I think it's just the example and seeing that, like if someone believes in themselves and what they're able to create, so like creating like, you know, these huge fitness goals for yourself or just this creating this, this business that you're running in order to empower women and how people and just believing and loving yourself and owning up to who that is, like you like three years ago, you not a social media person at all. A year ago, you weren't posting reels or anything, but you just kind of putting yourself out there and recognizing, Yeah, I believe in myself, and I believe that this is going to help people, I yeah, I should try and do the same thing.

I completely agree with that and try not to cut you off. But also like I completely agree with the like you believing in you, makes me believe in me, in me. And maybe that's not like the best mental health, because like you're supposed to believe in yoursef I feel like it's a good place. I really like how I rely on your confidence to, like, be have the confidence to go, do my own thing. So, like a year ago, I would never have even wanted to do what I do, which I do a YouTube channel. I try to do is YouTube channel. And like you being able to be like, I'm going to start a business and I'm going to grow that business, and I'm just going to keep on working on it and keep on growing it. And I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to grow that and keep on working on that. And I would start doing reels to get more like traction and stuff because you believe in your dream so much. It makes me want to believe in my dreams as much as you do and be so dedicated in them. And so I feel like it's giving me the confidence to be like, I can do that too, and I can do these things for myself and I can like I can try new things and I can do hard things. And then also, I would say that like, you've talked about this a lot on your podcast and something that I super relate with is like having complete and transparent honesty with everything that you think about yourself and everything that you think about, like who passed you? Was there anything that you always say is that you were like, You're like, I never thought I was a soft place to land. But now I believe that thought like, I am a soft place to land. I'm like, I'm safe, I'm warm. And all these things that people tell youu your whole life, You know, you're just like, you're like, you're hard, you're too like, too edgy, too sassy, whatever it is. Yeah, you know, and like, those are the things you grow up believing about yourself. And now that you've like, had this full transparency of like, yes, I might be some of those things, but I'm also these things. I'm I'm so soft and gentle and kind. And so like, I love that you have full transparency over every facet of yourself and that you are like, Yeah, I can be everything. I'm all these things. I'm not just one thing or the other, you know, like, I'm all these things and like, you're proud of all those things. You're like the parts that are angry and like jealous. And all those things, like being the most people would be ashamed to have. You're like, Yes, everyone has those feelings. I have those feelings and I own up to it, and I own the fact that I might be these things. And so it makes me feel like I can hold up to the fact that I feel those kinds of emotions that are associated in a negative connotation. They're not negative. They're just a feeling that I have, or they're just a trait that I am proud of. And I like being able to be like, I'm proud of all of me, not just the good, good or the bad in a and associated sense.

You know what I mean? It's not just like, it's not those kinds of things. You know, I'm proud of all of me. It's a well-rounded person. You know, I love that you said that. I mean, so much to me because it's one of those things that I felt like, you know, for most of my life, as you know, I was pretty hard on myself. And I feel like, you know, some of you, maybe all of you learned that from me and that you were hard on yourselves as well, right? Or thought, and maybe that's just having a brain. Maybe that's just human ness. And we are just hard on ourselves because our brains, like, are so critical. But I'm grateful to know that like that you, I've started to love and appreciate all the parts of you. And I'm yeah, I'm really happy to know that.

Yes, that's true. Yeah, that's definitely happened for sure.

Okay, so the last question I would ask. Well, let's split it up into two. How do you think coaching has impacted our immediate family? We'll start there and then how do you think what you've learned and what you've seen me go through will impact your future families? So, okay, let's just start with like our family, like you can just say like what you think is different.

I think you can go, yeah, okay?

I would say, at least with our immediate family, everyone is like more closer knit. I feel like we're more bonded together. I feel like there's like more of a. I just I think with amongst the six of us, there's just more of a friendly relationship where we can like have, oh, this is a term that I just learned recently of "psychological safety." And it's just like somebody that you can have true transparency with and like you can say anything to and they won't judge you and they'll advise or assist or agree or whatever it's going to be. And so, I feel like within our family now because of coaching, we I feel like I have psychological safety and like we can all talk about our feelings very openly and the struggles that we're going through really openly. Yeah. And so, I feel like that has made us just more like a tight knit group and we're more just like bonded and more of an awareness of one another. Yeah, that makes any sense.

Yeah, yeah, to piggyback on that, it's more just that. Like, I feel like it's our personalities are able to come forth forward without the fear of kind of rejection or the fear of like not being accepted. And so like, it's not there's no judgment of that personality. And also, you know, we're just, you know, we're at the dinner table, we're just talking and we talk about all these fun things. We just enjoy our company with each other. And it's not that we're all the same person. We're all very different unique individuals that just bring forth the personality that we just kind of like, accept and love and just want to be together with each other because we love each other. And I think it's because of coaching that we're able to do that.

All right. So, just tell me, I mean, you probably don't know, totally, because you will yet have the experiences that I've had becoming parents and getting married and all of that. And there's just challenging learning experiences for all of us in that. But I'm just curious what you think about how the how understanding that you're in charge of your emotional experience, your happiness and all of that, how you think that will impact your future families?

I think for me, at least with my future children, I would just like to say that, like for myself, I feel like my relationship because of coaching, I just have a greater perspective of like they're going to live their own journey and they're going to have their own like way of doing things. And that like, I'm in control of me and I can just like guide them along the way. But in the end, like, it's their decisions and they're going to make them, and that's going to be what's right for them. And so I feel like I'll have less worry about those things that I kind of just let them just let them live and figure out who they are and let them discover themselves. And so I like that thought and also the thought of like your spouses and like future spouses and people that you like, you know, they're there for you to love and not to, like, give they give you, you know, give you love in that way. You know, they're there for you to love and to be a partner and to be like, you guys are going through this experience together through mortal life. And so, I feel like that definitely is like opened my eyes to what my future relationships can look like and how I can, like be like how we even it. I like a future arguments and compromises I can already like just picture of like, you know, though, there'll be so much like I feel like there'll be a lot less contention. They can have a lot more compassion for myself and for the feelings that I'll go through in the future and for his experience or whoever this person is. Some point. And so, yeah, I don't know. I feel like just an overall like more awareness, more compassion and just a, yeah, an overall sense of like having more love for everyone.

Love it.

Yeah. I mean, I would say the biggest thing for me is that I would just take the pressure away from everything that you're experiencing. So like in my future in terms of like family and stuff like, there's always kind of a sort of pressure of like, where are we going to live? Like, Where are these kids going to grow up? What are they going to be with in terms of friends? Like what are the experiences that are going to shape these kinds of people, basically? How am I going to parent basically? Like, how am I? Because like, I think that's just so much pressure. Just say idea of like, you are responsible for your children basically, and you are responsible for how they turn up in their emotional well-being and everything. So, if you have that kind of thought you're going to drive yourself crazy, you know, to really drive them crazy? Yeah. And so I think it's just this idea of taking the pressure away from like they're going to turn out exactly the way they're supposed to, that you are the perfect parents for this, these children basically, and that you together with your spouse are perfect for each other after you've chosen each other and perfect for those kinds of experiences. And recognizing that like even if the experience you think is ultimately bad, like for myself, like or you're going through something hard you can recognize, this is all just part of the plan. This is all just part of the experience and growing, and this is all part of the experience of learning what it means to be a parent because I don't think coaching doesn't take away the fact that they're going to be, you know, good and bad times when it comes to caring, for sure. It just takes away the idea that it has to be a certain way. Basically, the life can just be allowed to be life and that you are free to enjoy it. Yeah, in the good and the bad recognizing it's just all part of the whole process. And then I think as well as like, I mean, because of. Are coaching, I have decided to be a life coach and coach myself and coach others, and I think it's just like profound that I hope my children can also kind of take that example of not necessarily coaches or anything. That's just it's just more to take on the idea that like, Oh, I can believe in myself, the world is good, that there's all these beautiful thoughts that we can choose to believe about ourselves, about life. Obviously, they're going to have to go through those yet hard and darker times to probably understand that too, but that it's sort of just like a greater light at the end of the tunnel. Basically, like we all have the light of the gospel, basically. But how can we feel the light of the gospel better? Yeah, because of coaching, because of removing the beliefs that are roadblocks in are the obstacles in our mind. But yeah, yeah, I always think about it like it helps me use my agency better. It helps me choose better within this world, within these circumstances, within whatever's happening good or bad, how do I choose better? How do I choose what I want? So, yeah, right? And recognize the beauty of the life that you do have. And that's a big thing, too, is that I don't know. We're going to be going around. We're going to be like, Oh my gosh, we have three young children in our life is terrible because it's like a mass. It's not going the way it's supposed to. Like, it's not pretty on Instagram or any of these things because we're going to have to ultimately undergo trials and challenges that are different than any other generation or for sure, as every other generation has had to.

Yeah, yeah.

But in in those obstacles, we automatically have an advantage in that. I love that we have this, this belief in ourself or we're trying to grow this belief in self. And we also recognize that our children are like perfect just as they are spouses, perfect just as they are. We can accept them. We can grow with them. They're meant to be there for our own good.

To teach us the lessons only they can.

Well, that's a perfect place to end. I am so grateful for you too and for the lessons you have taught me. Honestly, I feel like. The luckiest person to have been able to share my Earth-life experience with both of you.

And I'm going to cry

And honestly, for the lessons that you have taught me, it's been my privilege. I love being your mom.

I love you. Love you.

Okay, so before we go, tell everybody if they want to find more of you. Yeah, they can do it. Olivia, you...

Are like if you'd like to, you'd like something more on the to the entertainment purposes you can find me at Liv in Literature on YouTube. If you'd like to learn more about books or just entertainment, or just to watch me goof around on the internet. Feel free to find me there. Or if you're located in the state of Utah and you want to get your hair done, I am a cosmetologist plugging my Instagram Liv_loves.Hair Find me at Paul Mitchell in Salt Lake City. I will do your hair, your makeup. We can just talk. I swear I am a lot less emotional and

I'm way more fun in person. Not so emotional so you can find me there!

And a very entertaining thing. I would also add that we probably would not be nearly so creative and ambitious without you being a coach.

That's very true. I would never have had the the ambition or creativity to modulate branch out into like, I don't know, do putting yourself out there on the internet is just such a scary thing. And so I feel like I've had the courage to do that. So, thank you for that.

So, go to Liv in Literature on YouTube and on Instagram.

I will link both of those in the show notes.

Okay, and then you can do so if you want to hear from me. I also have my own podcast. It is called relatable thoughts. It's got a wonderful picture of a muffin on it. So if you know anyone, I am what I call myself the college coach. So, I coach young adults going through college who want to do it all without exhaustion, without stress, without burnout and without beating yourself up throughout the process. And so, yeah, if you know anyone that's interested, you can also coach with me. I'm releasing my program pretty soon. You can look for it at, and it'll be kind of this monthly membership targeted towards college students to help them manage their minds. And so I think it's going to be great.

I do, too. I'm so excited. It's going to be awesome. There's a group component to it and private coaching component. So, if you have a young adult or college student, you definitely want them in that program.

And coming from a college age person, I would say that literally I go to Caleb for every problem that I have as well. So, I go to Caleb and my mom for every problem and truly they are the best and he is the best for college age kids. He makes them feel safe and their thoughts are valued and makes, and you are just allowed to be vulnerable. And so, if you do have a college aged person and or just like a young adult struggling, please go to him. He is fabulous.

I think really helps to come from someone who's also in college. But I'm also certified to yes.

So yeah, he's a proffesional

All right, you guys. Sweet. I love you.

Love you, too.

Back to the holiday. Yeah. Bye, everyone.

Aren't they awesome? I am so grateful as I listen to that again. Like, I just cannot be more grateful for coaching. I'm so grateful for the tools that it gave me to know my children as individuals, as people, instead of just like seeing them as like results in my life. It's just like, I'm just so grateful, and I just want to emphasize here at the end that again, my decision to get coached didn't change them. It just changed how I thought about them. It changed how I thought about me in relation to them.

And that change in my thought created totally different opportunities for us in our family. It created totally different opportunities for us to love and know one another. Your decision to get coached won't change your individual family members, right? It will change you and your experience of them, your experience of your family life. And that change will create totally different opportunities in your relationships with the people you love. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome. I love you for listening, and I'll see you next week.

The next round of my coaching program made four more starts the first week in January, and I want you to be a part of it in coaching. I will show you the simple way to change your brain, to create more joy, more love and more accomplishment in your life. Your Earth-life experience is precious and finite, and there is so much more available to every one of us in this life and the next, and I would love to show you how to get it. Go to to sign up.

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