Episode 151: When You’re Scared to Choose CoachingMar 24, 2022
I sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes before I went into the gym this morning… because I was scared and trying to find a way out of the pain that I knew was coming. Towards the end of that 20 minutes, my brain was like…”we could just go home.” I actually came really close to just driving home.
Fear…fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of anguish…all the fear my brain was producing inside my body almost kept me from doing what I really wanted to do today.
And I thought that you might be having the same experience.
A lot of you are sitting outside the gym (as it were) of my coaching group. Wanting to go in, thinking of going in, wanting the results of going in, wanting the satisfaction, but your brain is scared.
And it’s trying to talk you out of going in and just going home and doing more of what you are already doing.
Our brain tells us there is so much risk involved when there’s not, and so I’m going to take a few minutes and coach you…Because, I want you to remember that fear is an emotion.
So understand when you go to sign up and you’re scared, that’s 100% normal, but also, your fear is created by your thoughts. Not by coaching, not by signing up, not by the decision itself, not by whether it’s the right or wrong decision for you.
Fear is created by thoughts.
And these are the thoughts I want to coach you on in today’s episode:
- It might not work.
- That’s a lot of money for something I should be able to figure out on my own.
- It’ll be scary and vulnerable and humiliating getting coached in front of people.
- I need to straighten up my life before I get coached.
- I know what to do - I don’t need coaching, I just need to do what I know.
- Maybe I’m not worth the investment.
Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price. You might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome.
Hello podcast universe, welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and, this morning I was at the gym and I just had like so many thoughts that I wanted to share with you. And I thought, okay, I'll just like, put that in an Instagram post or I'll make a story. Or something, but then I just have so many thoughts that that I wanted to share that I thought like, you know what? I have a podcast, I have a platform, I'm just going to say it all there.
And so, I know this is like out of the ordinary, I know that this is like not according to our regularly scheduled podcast. But I just had some things that I really wanted to tell you and say to you, and so this is where I'm going to do it. So, like I said this morning, I was at the gym and I was going there to do my training for the endurance event that I'm doing at the end of the year, and I just did not want to do it. So, I like sat in the parking lot for like a good 20 minutes, maybe 25, right before I went in, just like watching the clock tick by and just sort of like being scared and having so much dread about walking into the building. And I, you know, I was scared and I was trying to find a way out of the pain that I knew was coming, that was going to be required of me and required of my body today. Andyou know, even just like the mental effort that that would take.
And so, I kept sitting there and towards the end of that 20 minutes, my brain was like, you know, we could just go home. Like we could just go home and we could just like, call it a day. Nobody says we have to be here. No one would even know, right? Like we just go home, and I actually came really, really close to just pulling out of the parking lot and driving home and fear the fear of pain, the fear of failure, the fear of, like, all about mental anguish. And that I was going to experience my brain was producing all of that fear inside of my body to keep me from doing the things that I really wanted to do today from walking into that building. And it just reminded me of so many of you that might be having a similar experience as you think about signing up for coaching.
Like a lot of you are sitting outside the coaching gym, as it were, and you're sitting out there in your car like trying to talk yourself into going into the group, wanting to go in, thinking about going in, like even like, you know, kind of preparing yourself in your life to go in. And especially wanting the results of joining the coaching group and going in and the satisfaction and the changes in your life and all of that. But your brain is scared and it's trying to talk you out of going in and just going home and just like doing more. Of what you've always done and just, you know, keep going on the same way you are. And this morning after my workout, after I, you know, faced the fear and did the things that I wanted to do. I was in the shower and I could just kind of like picture you in my mind's eye, those of you that are going to be in those seats in my next group that in a couple of weeks, those of you that I am going to be coaching and I know the step between being in those seats and being coached and where you are now, that step is one of the scariest you make.
Like our brain tells us, there is just so much risk involved in this decision, right? When actually there is not okay. And so, I'm going to take a few minutes here to coach you. And the first thing I want you to really think about is that fear, of course, is an emotion. I know you know that but I want you to understand that if you're scared, if you're feeling the emotion of fear as you go to sign up, first of all, that's 100% normal. But also, I want you to remember that that fear is only created by thoughts. Fear is not created by coaching, it's not created by the act of signing up, it's not created by the decision, it's not created by whether or not that decision is right or wrong for you. Fear is always created by our thoughts about it.
Just as my fear this morning was created by my thoughts about going in there, my thoughts and it was going to be too hard or too painful and then we didn't need to do it. Why are we doing any of this? We don't need to be uncomfortable. We don't need to put ourselves in that position. And when I'm scared and fear is running through my body, like, obviously I want to hide, I want to retreat, I want to go back home. I want to forget about the things that I want in my life, and I don't want the same thing to happen to you. I don't want you to hide it. I don't want you to retreat. I don't want you to go back to things like the way that they are. And so I just want to coach you here for a minute on the top, thoughts that I see that create fear for us as we go to take this step and sign up for coaching.
So, the first one is that it might not work, right? Like that's a lot of money and it might not work and we're scared. So, I want you to think about what you mean by it might not work. What does not work mean like that phrase not work in and of itself is just a thought. What would it mean? Like if if it didn't work, what would that look like for me? And secondly, I want you to know that coaching in and of itself doesn't work. Coaching programs don't work, your brain does, your brain does all the work in your life. Now, it is doing the work in your life, your brain is always creating your life and either your thoughts are working to create the life you want or they are not. They are either working for you or they're not working. And you have a lot of results in your life that you wish were different. What I want to point out to you is that the working agent in your life is your thoughts, they either work for you or they don't.
And coaching is just the very best way to change those thoughts. If they are not working, your brain and your thoughts are going to be challenged and changed in coaching. They can't not be just by being in the room. You are going to introduce thoughts you have never thought before and those thoughts, as you continue to think them, will change the results of your life. So, I want you to think about this in terms of what do you want to work in your life? What do you wish worked better? And I want you to know that if you are committed to changing the thoughts that aren't working into thoughts that do, then it works for you. It always works for you.
Okay, next, another thought that creates fear for us is that, okay, well, that's a lot of money for something I should be able to figure out on my own. Like we we have a lot of fear and and, like, anxiety and shame created by this thought that, like, okay, I should just be able to figure out this thing on my own, figure out how to think about myself on my own. The first thing that I would ask you if I was coaching you is I would say, why? Why should you be able to figure this out? And what does thinking that you should cost you? What does thinking you should be able to figure this out keep you from? It keeps you the same by believing that you should know how to figure this out, it keeps you the same. It keeps you not figuring it out and just shaming yourself and telling you yourself that you should be able to take which is just totally made up. Be like telling myself that I should be able to hike at 30% for 4 hours, right?
Like telling myself that doesn't create anything for me except shame. No one ever said you should be able to do this and thinking that creates shame, and doesn't allow us to change the work you were going to be doing. And coaching is changing your thoughts and that is just really hard and really challenging when the very organ that you want to change is the one thinking the original thoughts, right? It's like cleaning a soup spoon while the soup spoon is still in the soup. But a brain outside of you, a brain outside of our brain who can see our thoughts, can see our thought errors, can see like all of our other options is just so helpful. It makes things so clear for us.
I was just coaching client the other day and as I kind of laid out the story that her brain was telling her and what that was creating for her, she said, I've never seen my own brain laid out like that, it makes so much sense. And so, of course, there's no truth to the thought that you should be able to do it by yourself. That is completely made up.
Okay, third, another thing that is creating fear for us is the thought that it's going to be scary and vulnerable, and humiliating, to get coached in front of other people. I think this is like a really big fear for many of you. I could be all in except that like the thought of like being coached in front of other people and other people seeing your mess and other people seeing like your judgment and your thoughts and like, everything else is really, like, scary, right? And so we all go to sign up and our brain is like, well, like people are going to know what's everything about me? And I don't like all these things about me, and that's going to be really embarrassing. But it turns out that the opposite is true. Like, our brain is worried about this, about how we will appear socially. And it turns out that, like the opposite of what we think is going to happen happens.
What happens in the group is that you really start to understand, maybe for the first time ever on a very deep level, that there is nothing wrong with you and that all our brains work the exact same way. Like, I know you hear me? Come on here and say, like, everybody thinks that they're not enough. And like, secretly, you're like, no, nobody thinks that like I do. Yeah, right. Like, our brains are pointing out all our flaws, they are giving us thoughts that are creating the opposite of what we want in our lives. They fight to be right, even when it's hurting us, and that is a universal human experience. And there is so much love and acceptance and compassion that happens to yourself when you start to really see that in other people. Not only does getting coached in the group give you tons of access to coaching and tons of access to new thoughts about things that you didn't even know were keeping you stuck? It also just gives you so much compassion for yourself and your human experience, and instead of feeling vulnerable, you start to feel safer than ever.
Because you see, like all the humans are up against the same things, all the humans are struggling and it's okay. You are okay. You start to figure out, I am so okay, okay? That was a lot of jokes in a row. Another thought, creating fear is the thought. Okay, well, I just really want to make the most of this coaching experience. I'm like, putting out all this money, and I need to be in a good place to, like, be able to make the most of it, right? I need to be in a position where I can invest the time and energy and thought or like maybe we think like, okay, I need to clean up these big problems in my life first, clean some stuff up, be better. In a lot of ways, I get some traction here before I start so that I can, like make the most of this experience. And I think that is like thinking like, I need to get in shape before I can go to the gym. Like thinking like I need to get my finances together before I can start saving or talk to somebody about investing.
And the truth is the best time and place always to start is now because you are thinking thoughts now and those thoughts are creating your life right now and stop trying to change your life before you go in and change your thoughts. Where you are right now is the perfect time and place to start. You don't you don't need a lot of time in the program. You don't need a lot of energy to or like to be more organized or be in a better place where you can really, like dedicate yourself to it and concentrate on it. What you need is to get your brain coached now, coaching happens in the present. With the thoughts that are creating pain in the present, with the thoughts that are keeping you stuck in the present so, that you can change your life in the present and in the future. There is no better time to change your thoughts.
When I look back at all the thoughts I've changed over the last five years, I never think like I really wish I would have waited to change that thought. I really wish I would have waited to change that result. Like, all right, that never happens, I'm always just like oh my gosh. So, glad I changed that thought, and as your coach, I want your brain right now as it is, there is never a better time because your life is always being created. We don't like joint coaching to be the star student, or get patted on the head. We come to coaching for growth, and help, and change in the mass.
Okay, another thought that creates fear, and hesitation to sign up for coaching is the thought that I already know what to do. I don't need coaching, I just need to do what I already know, right? And this thought can come up for us when we have listened to the podcast. Maybe we've even had coaching before and intellectually we understand the principles, we know what our brain is doing. We have some awareness and we think we know the adjustments that need to be made. And I think this can even come up for us when we've been in coaching before, like either with me or with another coach. And we think we know the answers, we think we know what we need to think and what we need to change.
Just this morning I was getting coached by my coach and I said like, here I am struggling with the same thoughts and I know what I should be thinking, but I'm just struggling to do that. And I was like kind of beating myself up about it, and my coach said, yeah, that's why we get coached. Okay, she said, because knowing what we should think and then actually challenging and changing our brain when it feels impossible, when it feels like all the evidence is to the contrary, that is why we get coached. You know, it's kind of like saying, well, I had one haircut and so, I shouldn't need another one, right? Like I've had one haircut and so I should know exactly like how to cut it and what length to keep it.
Like hair keeps growing and brains keep thinking. And every day we wake up and we have to manage our thoughts today in this moment. And that maintenance mean that coaching is always useful if we have results that we want to change in our lives. We don't have to let the thought that we should know it by now keep us from the coaching that will help us. Like what I have learned is that if my brain is the thing always in my way, managing that brain is where I want to invest my time and money. And it's never about what I know and don't know, it's about what I can see and what I can't. And we never arrive at a place where we, like, know enough because it's not about knowing. Our brain never stops thinking, and where we are in our lives is always different. And because we are the ones thinking the thoughts, we don't actually know the coaching we need. Coaching is so different than knowing.
Coaching is excavating, and extracting, and dismantling, the thoughts that our brain is convinced is true and then choosing something else so that we can get what we want out of our lives. And that is not about knowing, coaching is always hands on, practical work on the thought that is in my way right now. And so, we all need coaching, no matter how much we know.
Okay, finally, the last thought that I think can often create a lot of fear for us when we sign up for coaching is the thought like, maybe you don't deserve it? Like, maybe it's just not for a person like you that has made so many mistakes and just can't seem to get it together. Like all these thoughts about like, maybe you're not worth it, maybe you don't deserve it. Maybe you're not worth the investment. This is 100% a thought error, and it is one of our brains favorites. Our brains love to tell us that we don't deserve things, that we aren't worthy of the things that we want. We aren't worthy of love or approval, that we aren't enough. And even though our brains offer us this thought that we don't deserve it and we're not worthy, it is never true. And I want you to just, like, throw it in the garbage every time your brain gives it to you.
As a child of God, you not only deserve to choose your life, it is your unalienable right. And nothing. Nothing you do or choose can separate you from your 100% worthiness and your entitlement and right to create anything you want for yourself in your life. You don't have to earn the right to choose your life. You don't have to earn your worthiness to pursue your goals and dreams and the experiences that you want to have while you are on earth.
I had an experience with my daughter the other day. As you know, she just got home from her mission and she was going back up to college and like she was moving into an apartment and, you know, she needed new clothes. She'd just been wearing skirts and dresses for the last 18 months. And so we made a list of things that she needed to go to school. And when we got to the store, like every time we went to like put the thing in the car, she was like, I don't need it. I don't need it. Never mind. I don't need it. It's just like and this is kind of like a symptom of all missionaries, right? Who are like, just, like, so overwhelmed by coming back to real life. And she just had all these thoughts about, like, it's too much. I don't deserve it. I, I don't need it. Somebody else needs it. Even though it was just going to sit on the shelf at Target if she didn't take it.
But we just sometimes have this, like, impulse that it's like too much. It's too much for us, and we don't deserve it. And I like I really had to talk to her about like it's okay to need thinks it's okay to want things it's okay to have things. And I just want you to know that when it comes to coaching, your brain is going to tell you don't need it. And honestly, like for your survival, it's 100% right. You don't need it to survive, but you don't have to earn it or deserve it to be able to have it and to want to have it. You just get to have it because you want it. That is a good enough reason, because you want help in creating a life you love and this is the best way you know how to get it. And telling yourself that you deserve coaching if you want it is a very powerful first step to saying that you deserve the life you want and you deserve to believe the thoughts you want about yourself as well. Signing up for coaching is scary, but so is believing new things. And that's why signing up is such a good exercise to prepare you for the work that is coming, because you're going to have to challenge yourself to believe new things and your brain is going to be scared about that.
But that is the way you get the life you want. I just have so much admiration and respect and so much belief in my clients because they have overcome so much in their own minds in order just to put themselves in the room and just to put themselves in a position to be coached, to choose coaching for themselves. And once they have done that and stood up to their brain in that way, it starts to become easier and easier to change their thoughts as well, to stand up to their brain and believe new things about themselves, to stand up to their brain and start believing that they can't have what they want and instead to be able to start creating it.
When I look back at that moment when I pushed the sign up button, like that was the like the first act of defiance against my brain and everything that I have changed and believed and created since then started right there in that moment. And as scary as that moment was, what's even scarier to me is the thought that it might not have happened, that if I hadn't made that decision, that nothing in my life would be different, that everything would be the same. And that is way more terrifying than anything else I can think of. Yeah, your brain thinks that this is a risky thing to do, but you need to weigh it against the risk of things staying the same, the risk of not getting everything you want out of your life when you could. And I just want you to know that you can be scared and still walk in the door. You can be scared and still get
And the best way I know how to do that, to get what you want and manage your brain's discomfort while you do that, is coaching and I want to invite you to it. The group starts in less than two weeks and signups and this Sunday. I don't want you to miss it. You can get signed up by going to my website aprilpricecoaching.com. I know it's a scary decision, but I also know it is a decision that will change the rest of your life. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome. I love you for listening and I will see you in coaching.
The next round of my coaching program made four more starts the first week in April, and I want you to be a part of it. In coaching, I will show you the simple way to change your brain, to create more joy, more love, and more accomplishment in your life. Your Earth life experience is precious and finite, and there is so much more available to every one of us in this life and the next. And I would love to show you how to get it. Go to Aprilpricecoaching.com to sign up.
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