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Episode 160: Be Like David

May 26, 2022
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April Price Coaching
Episode 160: Be Like David
35:07
 

Episode Summary

In the early 90’s, Gatorade ran an ad campaign called “Be Like Mike.” The idea was that if you wanted to have the skills and the experiences that Michael Jordan had, all you had to do was drink Gatorade like he did.

All of us have people in our lives that we admire and want to be more like. And if being like them was as easy as making one choice the same way they make that one choice, more of us would probably be able to do it. But the truth is that who we are, and the skills we develop, and the experiences we have are created by a lifetime of choices.

This week my husband, David, turned 50 and this birthday milestone gave me the opportunity to think about all the things I love and admire about him and the choices that he makes to be the person he is. 

I’m sharing that list on the podcast this week because as I thought about it, I realized that David’s choices are creating a pretty incredible life experience for himself. Because of who he chooses to be and how he chooses to show up in his life, David gets to feel more love, more curiosity, more grace, more fun, more generosity, more compassion…more of the time. 

The best part is that feeling like this isn’t just reserved for David. I love knowing that these choices are just as available to you and me as they are to him. We all get to choose. And our lives are created by those choices. Anybody you want to be, any characteristic you want to have, anything you want to feel, is just a choice away.

Episode Transcript 

Welcome to the 100% Awesome Podcast with April Price. You might not know it, but every result in your life is 100% because of the thought you think. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome.

Hello Podcast Universe, welcome to Episode 160 of the 100% Awesome Podcast. I'm April Price and this is going to be a fun one, I'm really excited about it, so I hope that it will be enjoyable for you too. Before I get started, I just wanted to let you know that I have a new class, a free class that is available to all of you who are interested, it's called Excuse Proof Your Life. So, just this week, I was talking to a client and she was like really down on herself, really hard on herself. She's like, I have all these things. I make all these plans. I have all these goals. I even, like, write out what I think I need to do. And then, when the time comes to be able to do it, I just find myself making excuses. And she was really beating herself up about this. And as we coached, we started with really understanding the idea that there is always a good reason why we make excuses. There is always a good reason that our brain is putting off the thing that we think we want to do. And it's not because we're bad, okay?

It is not because we're not good people. We're not disciplined people. We can't have what we want. We are never going to figure it out. It's not because we are fundamentally flawed. There is always a good, good reason and it is always because of what is happening in your brain. And your brain actually has a good reason for all the excuses it gives you. And so, I want you to stop being mad at yourself if you are in the same boat, if you find yourself wanting to do things and then not doing them, I want you to stop being mad at yourself and start being curious. Start really being curious about what your brain is scared of, about what is keeping you from doing the things you want. And one of the like, best ways to get curious and to get aware of what's happening is to take this little class.

It doesn't take very long, but you're going to get some real insights into like why your brain makes excuses and how to overcome it so that it's available to every single one of you. And there's a bunch of places you can get it. You can text the word excuse to 66866 and it will get sent to you. You can also find it on my website. There's a button where you can click and download to get the class. And if you go to my Instagram profile at April price and you click on the link in the bio, you can get it there as well. So, no excuses to be able to find the class excuse proof your life. And I just thought that might be useful to all of you to know that is out there and available to all of you.

Okay, so on to the episode, this is a really fun episode for me. This week my husband David turned 50 years old and our family we have been looking forward to this day for many years. My kids have been teasing him about it for three or four years and he has been dreading it for about that long as well. But for me, like, I am delighted. I am so thrilled that my husband has been on this earth 50 years and that I have been able to share a good portion of those years with him. I feel very blessed and very lucky to have been the recipient of his life experience and to to be able to share this mortal journey together. He's clearly the best blessing in my life, and so I am celebrating every one of his 50 years. And so, this might feel a little indulgent to some of you and a little selfish to spend a whole podcast talking about my husband, but it is my podcast, so I get to and actually the podcast wouldn't even exist without David, as you will see later. And so, I thought it was appropriate to talk about the things that I appreciate and admire about him and the things that I see, the way he lives his life as kind of a model that we can all learn from.

Okay, so just a word about the title before we begin, about the time that I was graduating from high school and Gatorade had this big ad campaign that was like be like, Mike. I don't know if some of you who are alive probably remember that. And it was this whole campaign focused around Michael Jordan and like, if we drink this thing, we can be like Mike and have the life that Mike has. So, the title of this episode is Be Like David, and I just want to offer a few caveats with that title. I just thought it was fun, I'm not trying to tell you to be like him because he is better than you, okay? For sure he is not. He's just a man, a human living his life. But there are things and ways that he lives that I think we can all learn from. I'm not telling you what to do here, okay? But I hope you will see in this episode that because David chooses to live his life in a certain way, he gets to experience certain feelings. And as I tell you about the things that I love about him and admire about him, you might be tempted to have the thought like, Oh, I wish I was more like that, or I should be more like that, or why can't I be more like that, right? Because deep down we sort of think like that. The way other people are doing it is better and that it makes them better and it makes the world better, and that it would make life better for others if I could be more like that.

But I want you to know that I don't think you should be like him for any of those reasons, because the truth is, you cannot be better. And so therefore, you should not be better, right? But, I want you to think about the experiences that David has, because he is the way that he is, because he shows up in his life the way he does, because of the choices he makes. He gets to feel more things that he wants to feel. He gets to have experiences and feelings because of those choices. And as you're going to see in this podcast, he gets to feel more love and more curiosity and more grace and more fun and more generosity, like just to name a few more of the time because of those choices. And I offer these examples as like not to condemn you and not to tell you like, oh, you should be more like this, but to offer you the idea that like I could choose that as well. And if I want more love, I want more generosity. If I want more fun, if I want more curiosity, I can choose those things as well.

I spent a lot of years telling myself that like he was so much better than me and that was not useful in our marriage, of course. But also, like any thought, like that only creates shame and shame never creates change. I do not think that you should be anything, I just want you to know that you can be anything. You can have any of the experiences and feelings that David has regularly if you choose them. So, if you want to feel more like him more of the time, then you should make those choices for you so, that you can feel the way you want to feel. You are the only one who gets to feel it. And I hope that will be clear. Like as I explain how David lives his life, I'm going to do it from my perspective. So, it sounds like I'm the beneficiary of it, but really and truly, he is the beneficiary. He gets to feel the love. He gets to feel the grace. He gets to feel the interest and the curiosity and the compassion and all of those things that he's so good at. And he gets to have those experiences because of the choices he's making. And those are available to all of us.

The last thing that I want to say before I tell you the things that I love and admire about him is that, and maybe I've already said it, I just don't want you to use anything on this list to make yourself wrong. A few years ago, my coach had me make a list of the three people that I admire the most and why. And David was on that list. And, you know, when I got done making that list, I was like, Oh, yeah. Like, I had this thought that, like, I wish I was more like these people that I admire. I wish I had the characteristic that they have. And what she offered me is what I want to offer you. She told me everything that you admire inside, someone else is already inside of you. You don't admire it because you don't have it. You admire it because there's a part of that that is already in you that is responding to that same quality and characteristic in them. There's a part of your spirit that is like them already and is responding to that inside of them, and you can grow that and expand that. So, whatever you admire or wish that you had more of in someone else, just know that that is already inside of you, waiting for expansion. Waiting for the chance to, like, show itself in your life.

And so, it's not that like, they have it and you don't. You're the part of you that is already that thing. The part of you that already has those characteristics is just like responding to that same thing in them. And so, I hope that that will encourage you to, like, create the characteristics and the qualities that you admire in other people in yourself and just like let them expand and grow because they already exist. But I'm going to give you ten things that I think are really awesome about my husband.

The first one is that he is genuinely interested in other people. Okay, he is never pretending like he is genuinely, genuinely fascinated and interested about other people. The moment that I knew I loved him, we were on a road trip. We were going to Arizona to visit my family and we were on a road trip and we stopped in this little tiny, tiny town in Utah called Orderville. And there's like a gas station and like nothing else. And some houses and like one street that goes through the town rises this tiny little town, and we pull up and he's going to put gas in the car and he gets out. And as he's putting gas in the car, whoever was working in the service station came out to check on him and make sure like everything was good or whatever. And David just started talking to him and he saw a sign in the window that said, like rodeo tonight or whatever. And he was like, I could hear him through the car. And he was just like, Oh, you go to the rodeo tonight. And the kid was like, Yeah, I am. And he was like, Tell me, tell me everything. Like, What do you ride in? Like, what are you excited about? And like he talked to him about his life. As he filled up that car, and I just like sat in that car and I was just like, Yup, I'm in love with this guy.

Because he is like so genuinely interested in other people. It's just like who he is. He he is so interested in what is important to other people. And like when I go and visit him at the hospital or like there's an event or whatever with like hospital employees, like he knows everyone, he knows everyone's name, he knows like what's happening with their families. They all know him, and it's because he is so interested in them and like all the time. And he's the one that does the grocery shopping. And in our house these days, I'm just like, yeah, I, I'm done with that job. So, he loves to do it, and so he goes and literally every time he goes grocery shopping, he brings flowers home. And they are not for me. He brings me flowers on other days, but he brings home bouquets like multiple bouquets every time. But he's just like, Oh yeah, well, I was thinking about so-and-so and I want to take them some flowers. Oh, I was worried about so-and-so I'm going to drop off some flowers. And he's like always genuinely thinking about other people. And like, I remember the first few times he did that, I was just like. Oh, my gosh. What an expense. Why? Who cares?

Like me revealing my hard heart be like he just continues to do it. It's just like he just knows that people love to be known. They love to be seen, they love to be understood. And he's so good at noticing that and being interested in other people.

Number two, I think what helps him with that is that he is curious about everything. He wants to know everything about everything. And like my son, for example, he just got a mission call to Argentina. And David has spent the last like two months as he like it since he got that call, learning everything that it's possible to know about Argentina. And he would like watch these old documentaries about the Argentinean economy and like all these random things, like not just about like, I don't know, the missionary work or like the mission itself. Like he just wants to know, like everything about Argentina, their history. He watched this whole documentary of the like the history of the currency.

And he's just like so curious about everything. When we are watching a movie, he cannot stand not knowing what's going to happen. He's always just like, wait, what's going to happen? What's going to happen? And if Ethan or somebody else has seen the movie, he is asking them the whole time to tell him the ending because he's so curious he cannot stand it. And like, if we're watching like a true life story, he's like immediately googling the end. He wants to know the whole thing. Before he even started, we just watched the Elizabeth Holmes series. Can't remember what streaming platform it was, but we just watched, though. And he was just like the first episode, the first 10 minutes. He's like Googling the whole history of like and the end and like everything that happened, he just cannot stand, did not know. And the kids just are always teasing him that like he knows more about their friends than they do.

Because he's so curious and like following their friends on Facebook and trying to, like, just know everything that's going on in their life, right? And he just is he's just curious. And one of his most famous lines that we always tease him about is like, why did you do that? He's always asking us, why did you do that? And now it is shaming way because he's like genuinely curious about why we did that, why we ordered that, why we like said that thing, why we, you know, whatever it is, right? He's just so curious.

The third thing that goes along with that as well is that he really cares about the details, like the details matter so much and he wants the best experiences. And so, the details matter in that. And when I met David, like one of the things where I was like, I don't know if we're compatible is like, he was not a big reader. And like I that was like a huge part of my life, at the time. I love to read and he's just like, yeah, not that into it. But the thing he loves to read is reviews. He will read a review about anything and he also loves travel books. Like he wants to know all the details about where we're going. And he owns multiple travel books to like every location we've ever been because he wants to know every detail. There's a really famous story in our family about this time we were in Canada, our favorite little like surfing town in Canada, and we were like going to dinner and we like, we're walking up to this restaurant and he's like, Oh my gosh, you guys, I read that this place has the best butter.

And we just died. And we're just like, Tease him about that every time. And every time we go somewhere, he'll be like, Oh, I read, this is going to be great. And we're always like, Yeah, how's the butter? Because he's just so interested in all of those details. Like when we go to the beach, like he wants to find the perfect spot and so he's read every review on it. To know where the perfect place to be is.

Okay, number four. He hates suffering of any kind. Like he just really cannot stand it when other people are suffering. And like, admittedly, this can make his life a bit harder. But one thing that I really admire about that is that it's not just that he resists the suffering. It's not just that he like hates it and complains about it and thinks like the world should be different and just like, Oh, this shouldn't be happening kind of thing. But he is always asking himself, What can I do? So, he sees a suffering, he doesn't like it. And then he asks himself, What can I do to relieve that? Like like what can I do? And I would say that is actually one of the if we had to like like count all the questions he's asked me throughout our marriage, that is probably the number one question he asked me, what can I do? And he's always thinking in terms of like, what can I do?

And when I was pregnant with our kids, I really suffered. It was it was really excruciating, painful process to get them to Earth. And, you know, most days, by the end of the day, he would come home from work and I would be on the floor with the other babies, right? Because I had like 4 of them in six years. And so, they were like all tiny. All the time, I was pregnant with the next one. I would be laying on the floor, they would be crying like everyone's crying. I was crying like no one's been fed, no one's been changed. Everyone's crying. I hadn't showered, right? He never asked me, What can I do? He was just like, I know in his own head he was saying, what can I do? And one at a time he would like minister to all of us and all of our needs, one by one, figuring out how he could relieve the suffering of each of us.

So, just a couple of weeks ago, we flew up to our oldest son's graduation and left our youngest son at home because he had a volleyball tournament. And one morning, Ethan got up and let Auggie, our dog, out in the yard and then checked on him a couple of hours later and realized that the back gate was open. And like he called us, he's like, the gates been open for a couple hours. I can't find Auggie, and he was like, can you all pray for me, and that I can find him? I'm going to go look, you know. And so, we all not melt down to pray. And David, hearing about this, right? And like we all prayed. But then he was like, What can I do? And he kept trying to think, what can I do from here to help Ethan? Like we were like, I don't know, a thousand miles away, and we could not help him. But David was just like kept asking himself, What can I do? And as he did that, you know, he got an idea of checking this app. And I think that question, what can I do? Like allows David to access a lot of inspiration. Like, yeah, our prayers got answered, but only because David then asked the question, What can I do? Like he asked for help, right? But then he was like, Now what can I do to help? And that I think is just amazing question to be able to problem solve and.

To be able to get more inspiration because we're not just leaving it up to God or leaving it up to the universe, right? Like, he's like, okay, and now what can I do? And I think that's just a really, like, powerful question to think about. And it's allowed him to alleviate the suffering of the people around him by asking that question.

The next thing that I want to say that I love about him is that he is proud of me. And of course. Of course, I love that. Of course, that feels good to me. But recently I realized, like, I am not the only beneficiary, right? That it feels good to him to be proud of me. Like he likes that feeling. And so, like, for example, like, he's always sort of like telling people about me and bragging about me, which, like, sounds like it's for me, and it's, like, so sweet, but it's because it feels so good to him. It feels so good to be proud. It feels so good to brag. It feels so good to, like, acknowledge, like, the efforts that I'm making. And it's just, like, such a good example to me that, like, it feels so good when we champion other people, when we're proud of other people, when we like, say all the amazing things about other people. And like he I've heard from many, many people that like when I give a talk in public or like when I'm giving a speech or talk or whatever, I've heard many people say like, yeah, that was a great talk, but my favorite part is watching David. He's like, the whole time you're talking, he is just like grinning. He is just like beaming. Like, it's way more fun to watch him be delighted in you. To listen to you. And you can see on his face how good it feels to him to watch me succeed.

And like, of course, I'm not the only one. Our kids as well. And and actually his colleagues and the people that he works with, like he's just he loves that feeling of being proud of other people. And of course, that is exactly why this podcast even exists. Because as I went to make it like I didn't feel proud, right? I just felt shame. My brain was like, there's nothing to be proud of here. Let me just tell you all the problems with it. Let me just tell you everything that's wrong with it. Let me tell you why you should be ashamed of why everybody's going to hate it. And David was just so proud of it, right? And like, he would come home, he was the one who's like, you got another review? And he would read the review at dinner, and he would, like, be like, Oh, my gosh, the podcast was so good. And he would like discuss it. And he's like, I really liked this part.

I really like his pride in it. Like, it was just enough encouragement to help me keep going when my brain is like, you should never turn that thing on again, right? So, if you get any enjoyment out of this podcast, it's all due to him being proud. And I think that's like a feeling that all of us could have more of. We could be proud of everyone around us. And the way David makes it look, it feels amazing.

Number six, this is such an admirable quality and one that I am really like working on, growing this skill in my own life. And so, David is quick to be wrong, but not to make himself wrong for it, if that makes sense. So, let me explain. Like when I like point out what I think has gone wrong, which like admittedly it probably has happened too much in our marriage. Like he is quick to be like, oh, I'm sorry about that, right? He's so quick to like accept responsibility for it and so quick to acknowledge that that was wrong. I guess we could question whether or not it was right. But like, he's so quick to, like, assume that, okay, yeah, that was wrong. But then he doesn't get caught in shame and make himself wrong, right? And like say mean things to himself. And just, like get down on himself for quote, unquote, doing it wrong. Like, first of all, I don't like to be wrong and I fight to like prove that I'm right a lot. But then when I finally acknowledge, okay, yeah, I could have probably done better. Okay. Yeah, I did it wrong. Then I make myself so wrong that I get stuck in shame for hours or days at a time, right? And there's so much power in taking responsibility and acknowledging, like, okay, I'm sorry that that didn't work out right. But then being able to change and, like, turn things around so quickly because he doesn't get caught in shame and he doesn't get down on himself or whatever thing he thinks. Like that should have been different, right?

And that brings me to number seven. I think that is because his default factor setting is to offer grace. He just offers so much compassion and grace and. Like probably like I told you, the question he asked me the most is, what can I do? I would say this. The thing that he has said to me more times than any other in my marriage is April, don't be so hard on yourself. And it's such an example to me how much he believes in grace and that like, of course we do it wrong. Does doesn't matter. Don't be so hard on yourself. And as you know, he served as a bishop for the last five years. And the hardest thing about that, calling for him was just like seeing how hard people were on themselves. And like that shaming themselves and making themselves wrong really kept them from accessing grace. And like, he knows that, like, if grace feels so much better, that compassion feels so much better, and that it is the key to change.

He not only offers that grace to himself, as I said, like when he does things that he, you know, wishes he would have done differently. But he offers that grace immediately to other people. He is so forgiving and he's just always extending that compassion and always like inviting me into more compassion and love for myself is such a good example to me of that.

Number eight, I would say the thing that I admire about him is that he's the fun one, right? He loves to have fun and he thinks it's allowed. And I know that sounds kind of dumb, but gosh, I have a hard time allowing myself to, like, enjoy my life. My brain wants to just be like, no, this has to be hard. No, we have to work. No, we have to work before we can play. And he never has that thought. He never thinks I have to work before I play. And he is the one that has, like, spearheaded all of our family vacations. All of our vacations as a couple. He was I'm always just like, we can't go. And he's like, we're going. And I'm always like, you know, even just last night was Monday night. He texted me and Ethan and he was like, Hey, you guys want to go to Dr. Strange tonight at 7:30? And like, literally my first thought was like, it's Monday. You can't go to movies on Monday. And I know that sounds dumb, but like, honestly, like he doesn't have any rules about enjoying his life. He doesn't have any rules about having fun. He doesn't have any rules about like that. There's only a certain amount you can have, and I really love that about him.

The next one is that like his religion is one of action. He's not this like huge scripture and he's not like always like correcting us according to the doctrine. And like, he's not he doesn't live his life like that. You just know what he believes, by the way, that he shows up the way he treats other people. By the way, he acts like last year as a bishop, for example, there were like, I don't know, 43 baptisms I've heard of like the young eight year old children, not really. But it felt like that to me. And every he went to every single one of them, and I was like, Do you really have to do that as a bishop? He was like, No, I want to do that. And he truly did. Like, he just he wants to do it. He, he lives what he believes. And he just like his biggest dreams for his life, are just like more service. And he just, like, spends the hours where his conviction and whereas covenants and where his beliefs are and he does that through action. And I just think that's so admirable.

And of course, the last thing that I want to say is that that I admire most about him is that he is so good at love. He has the skill of love and it is his greatest skill. And he is better at unconditional love than any person I know. And he really has developed the ability to love anyone. And it is a skill, you know, when I was first married, well, like, let's be honest, for the. First two decades of my marriage, I just believed like. Well, like that like he is just loving and I am just not okay. And, like, he's just lucky because it's easy for him and it's just hard for me, right? And that really isn't true. And it does a disservice to both of us, first of all, because of course, I'm not as bad as my brain thinks I am. But also to just say that's who he is is a disservice. It is a skill that he has worked on.

And it is hard work. It is a skill that each of us can acquire and it does require work. It is not easy. And I admire like the work that he does. To choose love. And I'm not as good at it, but I know that it is available to me as I practice choosing. Like I used to think I just couldn't love. And not only did that limit me, right? But it was never true. Like, I was always making choices. And so is he. The choices he makes are just as available to me. And I just, it's been such a shift in my life to recognize, like, I am capable of choosing love. And that is never something that would just, like, happen to me. It is a skill that I will acquire. It is a skill that I will acquire through practice. I'm so grateful to be married to someone that lets me practice.

Okay. I know this has gotten long because there are a lot of things that I love and admire about my husband. But I just want to offer you that if your brain has said like, well, that's really lucky for you must be really like, nice to have somebody in your life that is so easy to love. I just want you to know that it wasn't always like I just made a list here for you of the things that I love and admire about David. But, like, I want you to know that my brain works just like yours. And most of the time, what my brain offers me on default is everything that he's doing wrong. Most of the time my brain is like, Oh, look at look at where he's not what you think he should be, right. And I have spent a lot of time and a lot of work deciding what I'm going to pay attention to, deciding what I want to notice. Deciding what I want to choose to love. And so, I want you to know that that is available to you as well.

And this is a really fun exercise to do, I encourage you to do it with someone in your life to notice what you love, to notice what you like, to notice what you admire, to notice what you appreciate. Your brain like mine, spend so much time noticing the negative. What needs to be different? What's not going right? Like what could be better right? And we have to purposely direct our brain to thinking about what we love. And then really enjoying how good it feels to love that about them, how good it feels inside of us to love and appreciate those things.

All of that is available to you, by the way. You think so? I really want to encourage you to, like, think about somebody in your own life and put your brain to work. Finding all the things you love about them. I want you to remember that anyone you want to be is just a choice that you make with your mind. The way you think creates how you feel and that determines what you do, how you show up in the world. And the choices that David makes in his mind are the same ones that are available to every single one of us. And that, my friends, is 100% awesome. Happy birthday, David. I love you. And I am so grateful to be on this earth life journey together. I love you all for listening, and I will see you next week.

Thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. If you want to take the things I've talked about and apply them in your life so that you can love your Earth life experience. Sign up for a free coaching session at Aprilpricecoaching.com. This is where the real magic happens and your life starts to change forever. As your coach, I'll show you that believing your life is 100% awesome is totally available to every one of us. The way things are is not the way things have to stay. And that, my friends is 100% awesome!

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