Permission to be HappyMay 04, 2023
Are you good at feeling happy, or does it seem like you’re waiting for permission to be happy?
A few weeks ago, I was talking with my coach and she asked me where I feel happiness in my body. I feel pretty proud of knowing where many emotions that I feel regularly are in my body, but when it came to happiness, I didn’t know.
I realized that I am more aware and in touch with my pain than my joy. And I don’t think I’m the only one.
Are You Waiting for Permission to be Happy?
Many of us are very aware when we feel bad, but not so aware when we feel good. We might even feel nervous or skeptical when we feel good.
For me, being happy is not really the goal. I want to become the fullest expression of myself and have all the experiences I want to have here on Earth. And sometimes that involves negative emotions.
We can develop the skills to choose and feel every emotion. And I’ve spent a lot of time getting good at feeling bad.
But happiness is also a feeling worth pursuing.
We all need to give ourselves permission to be happy more of the time.
Permission to Enjoy Yourself
Sometimes we forget that we're are allowed to enjoy our lives.
We think life is supposed to be hard. Sometimes our brain points out the hard to validate what we are doing. To make it seem worthwhile. It feels like we have to earn our right to exist.
We’ve stopped paying attention to what brings us joy and what feels good. But you are allowed to be happy and to feel as much joy as you want to create.
Get curious about what brings you enjoyment? What lights you up and feels like the fullest expression of you? Then, do more of that and allow yourself to find joy in it.
I believe following these things always leads to us expressing our gifts, but that simply seeking enjoyment is also enough.
Permission to Play
When you give yourself permission to play, it means that you do the things you want to do even if you look silly. You let yourself be a beginner.
You’re there to have fun and embrace the spirit of adventure.
So, what sounds fun to you? What would you do if you weren’t scared of being a beginner or looking stupid? What would you do just because you want to?
Your brain will always have a really logical reason why you should work rather than play. We can’t wait until all the work gets done, because that will never happen. So you have to give yourself permission.
Give yourself specific times in your week or month when play comes first.
Permission to Like Things
This may seem simple, but liking things is always a decision. The way we think about things allows us to like or not like them.
Sometimes we get jaded or we think it's cool or sophisticated to not like things. But when we restrict what we like, we miss out on so much.
There's so much wonder in our ordinary lives, and we are just allowed to like it.
You can like your life, yourself, your body, your home. These are all decisions you’re making in your mind.
And if you’re struggling to like something, try smiling at it. When you smile, your brain produces pleasure that is hard to match.
This isn’t about faking it, it’s about giving yourself a chance to like something and feel that pleasure and giving yourself the permission to be happy.
- Why happiness is hard for us to notice and cultivate
- How to experience more joy
- A simple trick to help you like more things in your life
Featured in this episode:
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