Secrets to TransformationJul 20, 2023
For most of us, transforming and changing our lives can feel impossible and out of reach. But it turns out that the smallest changes that often go overlooked are the ones that make the biggest impact in transforming our lives.
In today’s podcast episode I’m sharing the biggest secrets to real transformation and sharing the hidden levers that will allow you to create the biggest changes in your life.
5 Secrets to Transformation
Have you ever felt like you can’t change? Like what you want feels out of reach and what you’re doing just isn’t working? We see transformation happen for other people but are afraid that maybe it’s not available to us.
If you’re feeling this way, I want to give you a new, encouraging perspective on change and share the best kept secrets to transformation in any area of your life.
Transformation doesn't look the way you think it does.
Transformation is not a single defined, momentous, magical moment where there is a clear before and after. We love a quick transformation like we see on TV and in movies, but it’s much more than a 3-minute montage.
Real transformation isn’t glamorous or dramatic. It is not even noticeable day to day. It is quiet and subtle, and it is always happening. It is a continuous, ongoing, lifelong process.
We are doing it one choice at a time. Every single choice you make is transforming you. The question is whether you are consciously making the choices that will move you purposefully in the direction that you want to go?
Transformation starts and ends in your head.
When you think about transformation, your brain automatically jumps to the actions. What do you need to do?
But the small changes in your mind are the things that actually make the biggest difference in transforming your life. It's not about doing; it is about thinking differently.
Everything you have in your life is a result of a thought you had in the past. And whatever actions you're taking (or not taking) in your life right now are only happening because you first had a thought.
This is such a powerful realization because this also means that anything you want in the future will also start with a thought. The more conscious we can become of what we are thinking and believing about ourselves, the more power we will have to transform our lives in the way that we want.
The hardest part about transformation is the part where your results are catching up to your new choices.
There is a space between our new choices and when the new results show up. It takes some time for new actions to build up enough to start seeing some change. And that space can be very uncomfortable (and it’s totally normal).
This is the space where most of our transformation dies. We think it means that our new choices and actions aren’t working. We get impatient or discouraged and start making new choices in this in-between time.
Change doesn’t happen right away, but if you continue choosing new thoughts, feelings and actions toward your goal, the results have to come. It’s always working.
It’s not better “there”.
The transformed place isn’t better than where you are now. We get in such a hurry because we think we’re going to be happy there. We think it’ll feel different and we aren’t going to have problems after the transformation happens. That everything will be amazing and feel good.
I want you to know that your life will be different, but your brain will still be with you. It’s not a problem. Your brain will find new ways to be unhappy once you get to the transformation. It’s always 50/50.
We don’t transform to get happier. Transforming to change our emotions and feel better doesn’t work. Transformation is about intentionally choosing the experience of your life and living your life on your terms.
Transforming doesn’t make you better, either.
So many of us are trying to transform because we think we need to be better. We think that there's something wrong with us, that we're not good or likeable. We're trying to be different so that we can stop hating ourselves.
Human beings can't be better - better than another person or better than another version of you. We can, however, make different choices and have entirely different experiences.
The negative feelings about yourself that you’re trying to run from are created in your brain. And if you want to feel better about yourself, you have to intentionally create it in your own mind.
The greatest secret of all is that the way to transform your life is through love, compassion and curiosity. Judgment, criticism and shame only keep us stuck. We don’t have to beat ourselves up to change.
If you can release your shame and your judgment and your criticism of yourself and decide to like yourself, then transformation becomes so enjoyable, it becomes an adventure that you have with yourself.
You are always changing. You are always transforming. Are you doing it intentionally? Are you creating what YOU want or are you letting your brain form your life on default?
Make the choices you want, one at a time, and do it with love. When you do that, the transformation you want is inevitable.
- How the smallest changes create the biggest transformations in our lives
- My 5 best-kept secrets to transformation
- Why letting go of your need to see results is how you actually get there
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