I used to be addicted to the Home Shopping Network.
Seriously. I couldn't sleep without it.
At the time, I was over forty years old, overweight, deeply in debt, and living in a rented house. Every night I went to bed next to my husband that I resented for not loving me or helping me enough. And while he and our children slept, I lay awake, worrying about how to pay the bills, adding up all the ways I was failing, and anticipating all the terrible things that might go wrong.
As miserable and terrified as I was, I couldn’t even kneel down and pray for help because I knew God was disappointed in me. I imagined him up there shaking his head, “You did this to yourself, April. You did it all wrong and I can’t help you now.”
Night after night, I lay there wishing everything was different.
The only relief I had from hating myself and hating my life, was the Home Shopping Network. I kept it on all night—listening to the sparkly hosts talk in luxurious, fascinating detail about satin robes and outdoor lighting and wool coats and pre-lit Christmas trees and cubic zirconium rings—just so I could sleep.
It was the perfect escape. Everything they sold on HSN was beautiful. And perfectly designed. And exactly what you needed.
My life was the opposite. It was a mess. Wrong in every way. And I didn’t want any of it.
What I didn’t know then was that the story makes all the difference. On HSN, the hosts create a magical, beautiful story about each item. They highlight all the positives, they notice the perfect form and function of every item, and they point out all the ways it’s useful and necessary.
Unbeknownst to me, my brain was telling the story of my life solely focused on the negative. Brains have the exact opposite job of HSN hosts: point out the problems, notice the flaws, emphasize all the danger and difficulty, categorize everything as bad and wrong and undesirable.
No wonder I was miserable.
Then I found coaching. And my coach helped me change my life in two fundamental ways. My coach taught me that all the negative commentary in my brain was not the truth; it was an optional story. There was another way to see it and I could choose different thoughts that would allow me to view everything differently, love my life, and completely retell the story.
And she also showed me my personal power to change and add anything I wanted to the story. Nothing was set in stone, and I could change anything I wanted to.
It was the ultimate gift. Coaching allowed me to love the life I had. And it allowed me to create even more things to love about my life any time I wanted. It was the ultimate editing power!
My life has changed in so many ways since I needed a soothing, HSN jewelry show to be able to sleep, but what has changed the most is the way I tell the story of my whole life—my past, my present, and my future. It’s all beautiful. It’s all perfect. It’s all exactly what I need. And there’s nothing else that I want that I can’t have.
And it’s the same for you! No matter where you are or how “behind” you feel, no matter how many ways you think you’ve failed, and no matter how disappointed you think God is, it’s all just the way your brain is designed to tell the story. And you can change that.
You can love the life you have and create even more ways to love it! And I can help you do it. Sign up for a free coaching consultation and we’ll get started.