The Daily Work of Liking YourselfJan 19, 2023
Today’s podcast episode is a reminder to choose to like yourself as you. Right now. No matter what goals you are or are not pursuing. Being able to like yourself is never based on the things you do or don’t do. Self love is something that can only happen inside your mind.
This is the season of self-improvement. Almost everywhere you look someone is talking about goals and fresh starts and changing our lives. And for our naturally critical brains, this can be added fuel to notice all the things that are wrong with us and all the things that need fixing.
Today, we’re pushing back against that inner critic and talking about how important it is to love yourself and like yourself, and improve the relationship you have with yourself.
The journey to self love
This work of building a loving relationship with yourself is ongoing work because your critical brain will always be there in the background, picking away at you and your self-esteem.
Being able to like and love yourself is daily work for every single one of us throughout this earth life experience.
The fact that you have to do work to like yourself doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It means that you are a human.
This is the work that will help you to think positively about yourself, have a good opinion of yourself and build a good relationship with yourself. It isn’t perfect, but it makes a big difference if you can make a few simple practices a part of your daily routine.
Daily practices to like yourself more
I’m sharing three simple practices that will help you like yourself, love yourself and improve the relationship you have with yourself.
I find it most effective when I do all three of these pretty regularly. But if it feels like too much, start with one and take it from there.
Your brain might try to tell you that these exercises are dumb, that they aren’t going to make a difference. But we know the value of doing small things that can make a huge impact in your life.
Practice #1: Find 3 things every day that you are proud of
If you’re feeling a lot of shame and your brain wants to highlight only the things that you didn’t get done or the things that went badly, this is a powerful exercise.
It requires you to look for the things that went right, the things you are proud of.
The three things don’t have to be big. The key is that you’re creating a moment in your life where you’re requiring yourself to find three things that you love, appreciate and are grateful to yourself for doing.
Tip: Pair it with something you already do every single day. For me, this is changing my clothes at the end of the day.
Practice #2: Do a thought download
This one takes a little bit more time and effort, but it is so helpful and useful.
This is the thing that makes me feel better than anything when I start my day. I like to make this exercise the first thing I do when I go into my office for the day.
All you need is a piece of paper or a notebook and a pen. Then, you dump out onto the paper everything that your brain is thinking and saying to you.
It allows you to be an observer of your thoughts and create a little distance between your thoughts and yourself. You can see them as sentences on a paper rather than the truth about you.
And if you want to take this one a little deeper, identify one emotion that came up for you while you were writing. Was it inadequacy? Fear? Anxiety? Discouragement?
Drop into your body and let yourself feel that emotion. Where in your body do you feel it? What does it feel like? If you could see it, what would it look like?
Practice #3: Decide what you want to think today
Ask yourself, “What is it I want to think today?”
What do you want to think about yourself? What do you want to think about what you’re going to do today?
Write it on a sticky note and put it somewhere you will see it throughout the day - on your computer, phone, fridge, mirror, wherever. Let it be a reminder of your intentional thought.
This doesn’t have to be a profound thought or anything brand new. You want a sentence that will shift your energy and help you feel a little bit better about yourself or the work that you’re going to do that day.
Our brains run on default, giving us the most efficient (often negative) thoughts. We want to have a plan and an intentional thought that we choose to think on purpose.
Sometimes it’s as simple as, “I love me, no matter what.”
Whether you have goals this year or not… No matter how they’re going… You don’t have to do any of it to like yourself.
Liking yourself is a choice, and it is a choice you have to intentionally make every single day. But you are allowed to make it, and nothing has to change on the outside for you to do that.
This is internal work. It's the choices you make in your mind.
There is no better gift you can give yourself this year than a good opinion of yourself. And these three practices will help you create that.
- 3 simple daily practices you can do to like yourself more
- My 30-day challenge to you for more positivity and self love
- Why you don’t have to earn your self esteem
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