Three of My Favorite ThoughtsJun 15, 2023
New thoughts are like currency. You can use them to purchase and create new outcomes in your life anytime you want. But you don’t have to come up with them all on your own.
Today I’m sharing three of my favorite thoughts that I have borrowed from other people to help me think about who I am, the choices I’m making, my value as a human being, and my relationship with myself differently.
I hope they will help you do the same.
The Constant Trial
We’re all trying to feel better about ourselves, but we’re going about it in the wrong way.
I believe that the greatest source of pain in the world is feeling that we're not good enough and that we're never going to measure up.
So we try to prove to ourselves and to other people that we're okay and that we're lovable and that we're good enough.
And our brain continues to argue against us - comparing us to others or to what it thinks we should be. You find yourself back in that courtroom every single day arguing for yourself.
It's totally unnecessary, because we are okay and lovable, and we are enough. We just can't remember it because of our brain.
We don’t have to prove anything through our actions, choices or validation from others. It comes down to what we think about ourselves.
Borrowing Other People’s Thoughts
When you’re looking for new thoughts to think, you can find them in lots of places.
The three quotes I’m sharing in this episode have meant a lot to me lately, and I hope that you can apply them in a way that will help you improve how you think about yourself.
These thoughts will help you quiet the voice that tells you you’re not enough. They’ll let you step outside the courtroom and remember that arguing with your brain and trying to prove your worth simply aren’t necessary.
Favorite Thought #1: Fred Rogers
“Anything that's human is mentionable. And anything that is mentionable is manageable.”
Many of us have so much shame about ourselves and our human experience - our feelings, our choices and the way our lives have turned out. We think things were supposed to be different. That we should be somewhere else or someone else.
We think that everybody else has it together.
But our experiences aren’t all that unique. We are all here on Earth for the first time.
When anything we experience as a human is mentionable, instead of hiding from our shame, we can talk about it. And then we have the power to change it.
Change is only possible in our lives through honest awareness and evaluation of what we’re choosing and why.
Favorite Thought #2: Timothy Keller
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
This is the key to loving you. Most of us are hiding from our true selves because we’re scared that there are parts of us that are unlovable. And when we do this, we’re hiding ourselves from other people, too.
If you really want to change your life, you have to change your relationship with yourself.
Your brain is focused only on your faults. There are still more parts of yourself that you don’t truly know.
Decide to love even the parts of you that you wish were different. You are a whole person, good and bad.
You need more than awareness for this journey of growth and change. You also need love to become your companion. That is what will liberate you and help you create the changes that you want.
Favorite Thought #3: Mary Oliver
“May I be the tiniest nail in the house of the universe, tiny but useful.”
Our brain is constantly belittling our efforts and telling us that they don’t matter, they’re not good enough. We think if we can’t be the biggest and the best, that we shouldn’t even try.
But every tiny nail in the house of the universe matters. Whoever you are, whatever work is yours, whatever efforts you are making are useful.
You matter. Your gifts matter. Each one of us matters in the house of God.
I want you to know that you are lovable, especially by yourself.
Your decision to love yourself as you are in your human experience is a brave and bold one. But it is one that will change your life.
- Why loving and accepting ourselves is so hard
- The shortcut to new thoughts
- Three of my favorite thoughts to change the way you think about yourself
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