Use the DifficultyJan 26, 2023
We all face challenges in our lives that can feel really limiting, and sometimes scary. Today, I’m talking about how you can use the difficulty to get more out of your life.
I was recently speaking with a client who is dealing with some very real health challenges and feels really limited by her health and her body. Our conversation reminded me of some experiences I’ve had in my own life.
I dealt with cancer and all the treatments that came with it as a baby and a child. Throughout my life I’ve experienced gastrointestinal issues and pain for seemingly no reason. I had difficult pregnancies.
I felt like my body was a burden, a limitation, and that my earth life experience was so much harder than it needed to be because of my body.
In addition I struggled for many years mentally and emotionally. I had a really hard time liking myself. I had bouts of depression, and I even struggled with thoughts of not wanting to continue living.
And at the same time, I recognized that I was blessed. I was lucky. I had a good life. There were other people in this world that had way bigger challenges than I did.
But this realization only made me feel worse. It added a burden of guilt to my struggles.
Deep down, I had this feeling that I was supposed to do something with my life. That I had come to earth with certain gifts and abilities, and I was doing nothing with that.
I felt like I had a lot of untapped potential and that God had a plan for me. And if I could ever somehow get my life together, then I could figure it out and do that work that I came to earth to do.
I was waiting to live my life. I was waiting to get it together, to be more capable and have less pain. I was waiting to solve the problem of me so I could get busy living the life I came to earth to live.
Solving the “you” problem
Have you felt that way? You know you are meant for more, but you think that first you need to fix yourself and all your problems.
It’s easy to think that our problems and difficulties are getting in the way of our best lives. We often think we’ve got to fix ourselves and conquer our limitations before we can get onto the “important work” that we came to earth to do.
There are two things I didn’t know when I felt stuck in this place.
The struggle is actually why I came.
The point of you being on earth isn't separate from your personal, physical, mental or emotional limitations.
The reason you came is to learn to choose within that struggle.
While my struggles were real, they didn't have to limit me.
Your struggles don’t have to be solved in order for you to get more of the things you want out of your life or have more of the experiences you want to have.
Your struggles don’t define you. And there is so much you can create in your life if you think about them differently.
There is no situation in life that eliminates your ability to decide for yourself how you're going to experience it.
No circumstance is so difficult that it can prevent you from living your life and getting the things that you really want.
Your challenges are real. And they’re actually why you came. You are in the body you are in for a reason. It has the limitations it has for a reason. You came for those particular challenges, and within them you can grow your ability to choose.
How to Use the Difficulty
The key to all of it is taking radical responsibility for where you are.
If you want to shift from being at the mercy of your limitations to being in the driver’s seat and choosing for yourself how you want to think about them, you have to take full responsibility for your current results, feelings and thoughts.
Taking radical responsibility doesn't ever mean shaming and blaming yourself. It means owning that if you are the creator or your life experience, you can create something else.
And what I have learned over time is that the more responsibility I take, the more choices I actually have. I had more control over my results than I was taking responsibility for.
What are the pieces that you do have control over? How can you use these to construct the life you want?
It can start with shifting just one thought.
Stop trying to solve the circumstances. Instead, decide to make a different choice, to think about yourself differently, to think about the circumstance differently.
What you want is available to you right now. In your limited state. You don’t need to “fix” yourself before you decide you can have what you want.
Use the difficulty to practice choosing your experience, choosing what else you want to create. You have so much more power than you think you do. Use the difficulty and get the life you want.
- The reason you’re actually here
- One of my favorite thoughts to shift your perspective on struggle
- How your reality is a little like a Lego build
- Questions to get you moving toward the result you want
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