I coached a client this week that was trying to outrun herself.
Like many of us, she believed if she could just change and “finally get her act together” then she could find peace. And she was using thought work to try to fix—as quickly as possible—all the things that were wrong with her.
The trouble was, her humanness kept getting in the way. She still made mistakes. She sometimes chose unhelpful thoughts. She didn’t always act the way she wanted to.
“It’s not working,” she said. “I’m still a mess.”
I knew exactly what she meant. I remember being right where she is when I first found this work. I was so excited to think I was finally going to be able to clean up all the awful parts of me and be “better” in every way.
“What I learned,” I told her, “is that the power of this work is not in being able fix the mess. The power of this work is that it allows you to love the mess. Maybe for the first time in your life.”
I explained that looking at her thoughts and what they were creating for her wouldn’t turn her into a robot that got it right 100% of the time. It wouldn’t exorcise her humanness or make her “better” in some way.
Instead, this awareness would allow her to see her humanness and understand it rather than despise it. And only from this compassionate place of acceptance, would she be able see her unlimited ability to change anything she wanted.
February has the reputation of being the “month of love.” What if you spent it choosing to love yourself?
With all your mess and all your humanness?
What if you just loved you? Not because you fixed all the things—but because one has nothing to do with the other.
P.S. Stop waiting to magically fall in love! If you want to understand how to choose to love all the parts of you, sign up for a free coaching session! I’ll show you what’s available through love—so that you can be who you want to be from a place of compassion and peace.