One thought my brain loves to offer me all the time is: It should be easier than this.
In my business. It should be easier than this.
In my mothering. It should be easier than this.
In my marriage. It should be easier than this.
In my discipleship. It should be easier than this.
Around my house. About my podcast. When it comes to my weight. When it comes to my happiness. It should be easier than this.
When my brain says, “It should be easier than this,” it is letting me know that something has gone wrong—that either I must be doing it wrong or someone else is doing it wrong, and that my life is harder or more unfair or less ideal because of this. It should be easier than this.
It’s like my brain’s broad-spectrum diagnosis of wrongness…I don’t know what’s wrong, but something definitely is because it should be easier than this.
But what if it shouldn’t be?
What if it shouldn’t be easier to build a business...
Most of us who are parents feel like we should be doing a better job. We think our kids deserve better and we think we’ve done it wrong in way more ways than we should have.
Luckily, none of this is true.
If you have messed it up, you have messed it up in the exact ways you were supposed to. And with all the ways you’ve succeeded and all the ways you’ve failed, you have been the perfect parents for your children.
In fact, there are only perfect parents.
I thought you should know.
Changing my thoughts changed my parenting and it changed every relationship I have with my children. Which makes me incredibly grateful I found coaching when I did. If you want to see how coaching can improve your most precious relationships, sign up for a free coaching call and change things for good.
The other day, my coach asked me a question:
“What’s not working and why?”
As I thought about what wasn’t working and why that was, I noticed that my mind immediately went to all the things I was doing or not doing. I started analyzing my actions to try to figure out why what I was doing wasn’t working.
I answered her question and then she reminded me of something important: “Why something is not working is always because of what we’re thinking, not because of what we’re doing.”
This distinction makes all the difference!
Whenever we notice what’s not working in our lives, we automatically want to change what we’re doing. We want to take more action or better action or the right action. We want to start doing or stop doing something—anything—so that we can get the results we want.
But the problem is never what we’re doing. Whatever isn’t working is that way because of...
What happens when you hear the word “goal?” Do you cringe? Or get excited? Do you get motivated or have to steel yourself against feelings of dread or pressure?
It turns out that goals can’t make us feel anything, but our thoughts about our goals certainly can.
In this video, I’m sharing a thought about your goals that will change how you see your goals, how you feel about your goals, and ultimately, what you can create with your goals. I hope it helps!
Goals have helped me create lots of extraordinary things in my life. If you want to set some big goals and be able to tackle all the scary, doubtful thoughts in the way of achieving those goals, sign up for a free coaching session and I’ll show the difference coaching can make in creating any result you want in your life.
The other day at the gym, I was doing pullups. And it hurt. I didn’t like that and I thought, “I hate how much this hurts. I gotta get better at pullups so they won’t hurt so much.”
And as soon as I thought it, I knew it was the exact wrong thought to have.
Because to get better at pullups,
I have to do lots more pullups.
Which is going to hurt.
But if I hate how much they hurt…it’s going to be really hard to do MORE pullups.
To get better at pullups, I have to stop hating the hurt and decide I like the hurt.
This is true for more than just pullups. I find that for most of the things I want to do in my life, I want what it looks like, but I don’t want what it feels like.
I want to be good at pullups, but I don’t want to feel pain.
I want to maintain a certain weight, but I don’t want to feel deprived.
I want a growing business, but I don’t want to feel seen and judged.
I want to know how to love...
Humans are incredible problem solvers.
Indoor plumbing. Electricity. Cheetos. Serious problems, real solutions. We have used our brains for thousands of years to solve millions of problems.
But when it comes to our personal lives and our personal happiness, sometimes these kind of problems seem insurmountable. Maybe it feels like you have been working on yourself for years without any progress.
But this is only because we aren’t working on the real problem. The problem is never how we feel or what we do. The problem is never where we live or who we married or how much we got done in a day.
The real cause of every problem in our life is our thoughts. And when we really understand the true source of our problems, then the solution is easy.
I’m here to help you solve every problem you will ever have. Crazy, right? Sign up for a free coaching consultation and try it for yourself.
About two years ago, my coach had me do an exercise in which she had me name the three people I admired most. Then she had me describe why I admired them in one word. One of the people on my list was the first coach I ever hired, Jody Moore, and the word I chose to describe her was “brave.”
I was so incredibly grateful that Jody had been brave enough for long enough and had goals big enough so that I could find her and change my life.
My coach explained that the reason I admired the three people on my list was not that they had something I didn’t, but because whatever they had, I also had deep inside me. And that that part of me recognized that part in them and resonated with it. The people I admired were a reminder of who I really was—deep down.
She said, “There is a part of you that is brave.” (I wasn’t sure I believed her.)
A few weeks ago, I got a message from a client that said, “Thank you so much for being brave enough to...
Sometimes we think that it’s hard to change our thoughts. After all, a lot of the things we think we have been thinking for a long time. We have a lot of practice thinking them and we don’t know how to think something else.
But I recently had an experience that reminded me that changing things is easier than we think. Today I’m sharing that experience and a simple tool that can give you a lot of change in a short amount of time. I hope it helps you!
I used to think change was hard. In fact, I used to think real change was almost impossible. But that’s only because I was always trying to change my actions—which were never the real problem. If you want to change anything in your life in the easiest way possible, I invite you to come try coaching and see how changing something as small as a thought can change your whole life!
Over the weekend I got overruled and we watched the cinematic triumph that is Godzilla vs. Kong.
As my son said, “If you suspend reason and science and logic, it’s a great film.”
While I regret almost every minute I spent watching this movie, it reminded me that there are many times in our life when we have no trouble suspending disbelief. When we watch movies or ride rollercoasters or read books, we willingly suspend our idea of reality and believe just for the fun of it. (On several occasions I have found my daughter sobbing over the end of a book at 2 in the morning, utterly devastated by the made-up tragedies of fictional characters.)
Our brain is actually really good at believing things that aren’t real. We did it easily as children and it’s is a skill we can strengthen and grow to create different outcomes in our life because what we believe changes what we do.
If you believe you are patient, guess what you do?
If you believe you are good...
Most of us don’t like feeling bad. And when we figure out that our thoughts are creating all our feelings, we sometimes think we have discovered the key to never feeling bad again. Sometimes we even try to completely bypass feeling bad by quickly swapping in a new thought.
But this never works for long.
In today’s video, I show you how the fastest way to feeling better isn’t avoiding feeling bad. Instead, it’s getting good at feeling whatever feeling your brain is creating. I think it will make a big difference in how you experience everything in your life. I hope it helps!
You’re not supposed to be happy all the time! Feeling bad is an important part of your life experience and if you want to get good at feeling all your feelings, coaching is the best way to do that. Sign up for a free coaching consultation and I will show you the power of being in charge of your emotional life.