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What Else is True?

Jan 25, 2021

The other day I had a client send me a note and ask what to do when she knows her thoughts are making her feel bad, but she just feels too defeated to change them.

Maybe you can relate.

I want to tell you what I told her.  

Being a human is hard. Sometimes it feels like your brain is right—sometimes it feel like life "is too much and everything is stupid.” And that’s okay. Some days are hard and painful and this is just the human experience we’re having. That’s okay.

You don’t have to change that at all.

But when you’re ready, you can also ask yourself: what else is true?  Like we don't even have to argue with our brain about whether it’s too much or whether it’s stupid.  “Okay, yes it is, brain.  But what else is true?”

Because the truth is, it’s always 50/50. Which means even when it’s awful, it’s also amazing. Even when life hurts, it’s also miraculous. Even when we...

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Don't Give up too Soon

Jan 22, 2021

If you set new goals at the beginning of the year, you might be a little discouraged with your progress. Your brain might have given you the thought: “It’s not working.” This thought makes us feel foolish for persisting in our efforts and it makes us want to give up. This thought also feels really true.

But it’s not! Don’t fall for it!  

“It’s not working” is just another thought your brain uses to stop you from going after what you really want. But it’s not true and you don’t have to believe it. In this video I show you why. I hope it helps! 

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Get Unstuck

Jan 18, 2021

Last week I talked to my health and fitness coach about a strength goal I wanted to set. I noticed I felt a little sheepish and embarrassed about it. I couldn’t tell if it was “a good goal.” I wasn’t sure it was “reasonable” or “doable,” given what I can lift right now. 

She asked me what I was currently lifting. And again I noticed I was embarrassed to tell her. My brain said she would think I was pathetic. “After 3 years in the gym, that’s all you can lift?”

And I noticed something interesting.

My brain was shaming me for setting a goal to get stronger: “Who do you think you are? You’re dreaming too big and just fooling yourself.” And at the same time, it was also shaming me for where I was: “Where you are is pathetic.”

Essentially, my brain said where I am is terrible. But what I’m wanting is impossible.

And this is what our brains do. They keep us stuck in this trap of...

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It's Supposed to be Hard

Jan 15, 2021

If you’ve ever tried to do something new in your life and found yourself struggling to do it, it’s likely that your brain told you that it should be easier than it is. That it shouldn’t be this hard.

This is one of the dream-killing thoughts our brain offers us most often: it should be easier. And in today’s video I explain how to get around it, so that you can get doing all the things you want to do. I hope it helps!

xo,

April

P.S. If you've been putting off signing up to try a free coaching consultation, don't put it off one more day. Sign up here right now and leave worrying about it til tomorrow.

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The Ideal You

Jan 13, 2021

At this time every year you probably hear a lot of people talking about your “ideal self” or becoming “the best version of you.”

On the surface, these sound like lovely thoughts.

But they imply that who you are and where you are and the version of you that exists right now is less than. Lacking. Could be better. Doesn’t quite meet with our approval yet.

The problem with this is two-fold.

One, we start pursuing this ideal version, changing and becoming, from a place of negativity and subtle (or not-so-subtle) disapproval. This is the hardest way to change and rarely works long term.

And two, it begins a self-improvement quest that doesn’t have a finish line. You never arrive at “ideal.” There is no place you can get where there isn’t more to fix. We are running on a hamster wheel of improvement fueled by disapproval and shame and self-loathing, chasing a constantly moving target. And it’s a painful way to live your life.

...

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Avoid this Goal-Killer

Jan 09, 2021

Does your brain give you the thought, "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'll start tomorrow" or some version of "not today?"

I'm sharing a tool to help you get things done TODAY and stop letting the thought of tomorrow rob you of what you really want to create in your life.

I hope it helps!

xo,

April

P.S. If you've been putting off signing up to try a free coaching consultation, don't put it off one more day. Sign up here right now and leave worrying about it til tomorrow. 

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Give Up Self Doubt

Jan 09, 2021

Last year, I set a goal to fill my group coaching program with 10 clients. The first week I opened the program, I only had two people apply to join it. And my brain went crazy creating enormous amounts of self-doubt.

You can’t do this.
It’s never going to work.
Why did you think you could do this?
You never should have tried this.
That goal is a joke.

All these thoughts (and others like them) made me feel lots of self-doubt. My brain thought these thoughts were really important and really protective thoughts to think, but they didn’t ease my disappointment and they didn’t get me closer to my goal. Mostly, they made me want to quit and give up.

I want you to know this because as you set goals for yourself this year, your brain might try the same thing on you. And so as you go to try new things, remember that self-doubt is

totally unnecessary,
totally useless,
and 100% optional.

Self-doubt feels so warranted. But it never is. It won’t protect you from...

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Choose a Great Year

Jan 01, 2021

Happy New Year!

Are you wondering if it's going to be a good year? The answer is inside of you.

xo,

April

P.S. If you're ready to create the life you want this year, sign up for a free coaching session and I'll help you out.
 

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Resolutions that Work

Dec 31, 2020

I used to feel a lot of pressure at New Years. There were so many things wrong with me and my life, so many things that needed to be fixed, that my list of resolutions was painfully long and unmanageable.

I would start off with a morning routine, an exercise routine, an eating protocol, a daily spiritual practice, and relationship goals. By the second week in, I was already exhausted and discouraged.

If this sounds familiar, let me share two thoughts to help.

1.  First, there is nothing wrong with you.
2.  Second, if there are things you want to change, just pick one.

When we set goals or resolutions from a place of self-loathing or lack, we are taking all of our action from willpower. And it just never lasts long. To really make traction we need to make changes in our thinking. We have to think different thoughts about ourselves to fuel new action.

And that new thinking takes practice and energy and focus.

And we just can't change all the thoughts about us,...

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The Truth About Love

Dec 31, 2020

I have a secret gift for my family this Christmas.  I have been excited about it for over a month.  Whenever I think about it, a quick happy current of delight runs through me and I can't help smiling.

And even though it is a gift for them, I noticed that since I am the only one who knows about it (and therefore, the only one who has thoughts about it), I am the only one who feeling the delight.

This is true of any emotion.  If you are angry, you are the only one who feels it.  If you are offended, you are the only one who feels it. 

And if you are loving someone, you are still the only one who feels it.

Strange, isn't it?  

We think we're commanded to love for others.  We think we're supposed to love to make things easier for others.

But if we love, it's only because we are thinking loving thoughts, and we are the only one who feels it.

And if we withhold love, we only withhold it from ourselves.  We are the only one who...

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